hug your mom

1. charles leclerc (his dog is gay as fuck and his wife is cool as fuck, he’d crush it and give those kids a stable home. also his mom being a hairdresser is somehow very important for this.)

2. lewis hamilton (slightly better dad to the gay son but loves them both deeply. would wear supportive pride/feminist shirts in public to his kids’ embarrassment. earnestly proud of them.)

3. nico hulkenberg (would love his thot daughter a little more (trust me on this) and think his gay son was being dramatic about liking men as nico thinks everyone is a little gay. cool wife is a plus here. amazing home environment for the kids because he’s got a built in babysitter (gabi) and seems pretty normal.)

4. franco colapinto (only this low because i have concerns about his ability to be responsible enough for a child but give him like 2 years and he’s top of the list no question)

5. alex albon (he definitely doesn’t fully grasp either kid’s identity and keeps asking why they’re so focused on it being their only personality trait. he will inevitably compare both of his children’s behavior to his good friend george russell. those children are incredibly loved and supported tho.)

6. tied oscar piastri and lando norris (oscar is ideal due to his family influence and having actually been educated. he’d just be incredibly awkward about both the gay stuff and the thot stuff which is not ideal. lando is ideal in the sense he’d not really give a fuck about it but would have a clear preference for whichever kid is cuntier which is not ideal.)

7. max verstappen (not good with clearly and emphatically expressing his support of the gay stuff and the thot stuff so the kids aren’t as confident with him. would truly love having a gay son and thot daughter more than any other possible combination of children and this is ultimately problematic in many ways that are impossible to articulate but pretty good for said gay son and thot daughter in the long run.)

Emilia Clarke still being irritated about the death of Daenerys Targaryen in the year 2026 is so relatable

Bonus +