Flowerel

ok please picture with me: John has caught them at odd moments before where he can sense how grateful they are that he didn't hear what they said or they look too comfortable with each other's bare skin. it makes him feel guilty that they've never had anyone but each other. of course they're close

but

then he walks in on his almost-adult son with his tongue in his still-practically-a-kid son's mouth. Sam isn't even quite a teenager yet. the size difference is enormous and the gap in experience and maturity is profound

the boys are shirtless and there's no mistaking the way Dean's hand spans Sam's ribs, thumb passing over Sam's nipple

when he comes in, they pull apart but Dean looks dazed like he was so caught up in– what they were doing that he's not certain what's happening. but Sam is clear-eyed and alert, eyes darting between John and Dean

Sam says "Dad" all little boy in a way he clearly isn't anymore and puts himself between them. John leaves marks on his pale torso pushing him out of the way so he can break Dean's nose

He doesn’t want it to hurt and he doesn’t think he’d be able to handle it

Luckily he has Tony who’s always empathetic and patient with him. Even when Peter once again made him all hot and bothered only to back out at the last second

Tony’s never pressured him and always accepts every single ‘no’ immediately. He’s always careful and soft, making sure not to do anything that might ever hurt Peter

And then comes the day Peter finally dares to see this all the way through

And it’s good. It really is but there’s a second there, when Tony looses his grip and goes just a little bit too fast and causes this tiny sharp pain to spike in Peter

Tony immediately draws back and apologizes, continuing more careful when Peter gives the go

But Peter just lies there and is suddenly completely distracted

More then that, Dean doesn’t just accept the system – he actively encourages and supports it. It works for him. It doesn’t mean it was healthy, but Dean thrived in it and helped keep it going.

there is something genuinely horrific about sam finding relief in his abuser's arms. this is the point of no return for him. he was driven to suicide by his guilt, self-punishment, and dean's manipulation and emotional abuse in season 8. episode 8x23 is when we begin to see the start of sam's stockholm syndrome, and why he could never truly try to leave dean again in later seasons.