Sentience is a chore, let me be a flowerpot.

has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall

@ralfmaximus

I love people with like. highly specific accessory/clothing kinks like unironically. you mean all I have to do to drive you up the wall is wear something completely mundane, harmless, or a bit weird? fantastic, especially as a sub bc you get to make me wear it. this costs me nothing and makes you out of your mind horny that sounds like a win/win

panties is by far the funniest version of this. I was going to wear those anyway.

glasses is another good one. girl I got u covered I can't see shit

Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower

One of the best things about being a writer is thinking of something small you can add to your work that’s just. Devastating. Like you’re sitting there going. Oh. That would be diabolical. People would get really riled up about that. Exquisite. Let’s do it.

The Reblog (2014)

Bahahahaha love this

The Unnecessary Comment (2014)

The Revival (2026)

blorbo sickfic that turns into a possession fic halfway through

what does this meannnn

Whenever Americans use Cryillic like. That. I just. Instantly shrivel up an cry

Like idk how to tell you this but н isnt h and и isnt n

It’s true and you should say it.

If you want to explain, what does it mean then? 0.0

н makes n sound,и makes ee sound, я makes ya sound, р makes r sound, в makes v sound

you mean, like, ня?

oh no. It can be made with Cyrillic now

ня

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE EXPLAINED

НЯ

НЯ

OH. GOD.

THATS SO FUNNY

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

Come down to my new business where we put dogs in vr worlds just to see what would happen brand new warehouse space we have 50+ dogs with meta quests strapped to their faces all day. Yeah we mostly send them unsupervised into vrchat worlds. One of them got really fucking good at Gorn, though.