My Muscle, My Muscles

Hi, its me. The warmest creature in the world. I love you. Im the warmest creature in the world and I love you so much and I need to be in your lap right now. Yes, I know about the heat wave. That's okay though because I was already the warmest creature in the world so I don't mind. I love you and you need to let me sleep in your lap right now. I'm soooo warm and I love you sooo much. If you say no you'll be saying no to a thing that love you. Let me sleep in your lap. When I fall asleep I get warmer. I love you

booty shorts that say “PEOPLE LIKE CERTAINTY MORE THAN THEY LIKE HOPE; THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT PESSIMISM IS WISE” on the ass

Got his ass together in three words

Okay but frog genitalia are internal whereas male rats have among the largest proportionate ballsacks of any animal.

Spiritually my spirit is always smoking a cigarette but physically i am.not because hashatg smoking kills

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

We’ve booped each other a long time. We’ve been on this site for a long time. I mean, you and me. I could always boop on you. You could always boop on me. We’re a team, a group. Boop of the two of us. And we’ve spent our existence pretending that we aren’t booping. I mean, the last few years, not really. And I would like to boop… I mean if Gabriel and Beelzeboop can do it, boop off together, then we can. Just the two of us. We don’t need Heaven, we don’t need Hell, they’re toxic. We need to boop away from them, just boop us. You and me, what do you say?

I went outside to the real world and there was nuance. it was fucking terrifying stay safe y'all

the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you're supposed to help your friends move even if it's hard work. or stay up with them when they're sad even if you're gonna lose sleep. you're supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that's how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they're sick. you're supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there's actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.

i was worried my cat is dehydrated because i never see him drink water so i’ve started leaving a cup of water that’s “mine” (aka he sees me drink out of it once before he does) in my room so he thinks he is being a rebellious naughty by drinking out of it but rlly he is just following my plan & being hydrated .

God in the Garden of Eden

Absolutely obsessed with the implications of this comment

“the arts and sciences are completely separate fields that should be pitted against each other” the overlap of the arts and sciences make up our entire perceivable reality they r fucking on the couch