thinking about ed's reasons to live - warmth and good food and orgasms - and the moments in the series when these are present (or not), and how all roads lead back to stede
there's a distinct lack of warmth in the gravy basket. it's tinted blue as if it's cold. ed's near-death is portrayed as him drowning in cold water. we don't see him with a robe or a blanket at any point in the kraken era, not even in private, even though we know these things comfort him. we don't see him having any physical contact with the crew - in fact there's often a large space between him and the others. he does not feel the warmth of other human beings.
in contrast, warmth is a key feature of times when he and stede work together well - they use fire to appear like a lighthouse in s1e4, stede burns the boat after the aristocrats upset ed in s1e5, ed is under a blanket when stede comforts him in s1e6, they enjoy the snake snack by the fire in s1e7.
when ed eats without stede, it's not 'good food' - either he's eating marmalade out of the jar or cake icing off a dagger because he misses stede, or he's using the wrong cutlery to eat a prawn and getting laughed at by the aristocrats. he ensures the crew get cake from the wedding raids, but does not join them to eat it. he accidentally ruins the fishermen's meal in s2e8.
when ed eats with stede, the meals are substantive and good quality - breakfast spreads, the snake snack, the meal they don't pay for. they take part in so many little social rituals associated with eating - making food for each other, clinking their teacups together, stede getting the crumb out of ed's beard. many of their major relationship moments revolve around food - stede bringing ed breakfast in s1e4, the cutlery being a turning point in s1e5, blackbeard's bar and grill in s1e7, jack interrupting breakfast and 'well well look who's eating seaweed' in s1e8, their reconciliation at the dinner at anne and mary's house in s2e4, the breakfast in bed in s2e7.
orgasms is in some ways an obvious one bc the only sex scene he has is with stede - but on a wider level, he has very little positive physical contact with anybody that isn't stede (other than his cute little friendship dance with anne) - even his interactions with jack feel somewhat forced and over the top. but ed and stede touch all the time, in a very casual way, and a lot of the moments where they touch are significant - ed holding stede's hand while he's unconscious in s1e4, ed throwing his arms around stede after the lighthouse plan works in s1e4, ed resting his head against stede's hand in s1e6, the foot touch in s1e8, stede trying to wake ed up in s2e3, ed reaching out to protect stede in s1e9 and s2e6, the way they wrap themselves around each other when they kiss.
in comparison, the ways that he shares contact with other characters is starkly different - fang describes desecrating ed's unconscious body, he indirectly loses autonomy over his body when he's forced to shave his beard at the privateering academy, ed and izzy's touches in s1e10 are either violent (e.g. ed feeding izzy his toe) or an uncomfortable violation of boundaries (e.g. izzy touching ed's cheek). compare this to stede's approach to touching ed - he asks ed to come out from under the blanket in s2e4 instead of pulling it away, he checks in with 'is this okay' when they're holding hands in s2e5, he waits for ed's nod of consent in s2e6.
idk i'm just emotional about how hornigold asked ed what he liked about living and he basically said 'stede' three times
