piss hard, shit loud, safety third

one time a guy friend told me he was quitting league of legends and literally two weeks later she was on estrogen. these events are intrinsically connected in my mind.

There is still time [to stop playing league of legends]

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

my aura too cunt My blog too suicidal my fit too mid My bitch hate me

*sits up in bed, stretches, yawns* it’s another beautiful, glorious day full of opportunity a- *ominous bell toll and i am instantly replaced with a 10,000-year-old mummy sitting in the exact same pose*

there are sounds that only bald people can hear

your 20s are about elves, your 30s are about continued meditations on the elf

once you hit your 40s it's time to find an elf

Fuck I hate elves god damm it

you've got 2 years left of that but then you have to make some changes

you have GOT to get over god abandoning you when you were 2 like its not even uncommon

love it when characters do a sacrifice play ostensibly to save others but mostly so they don't have to face themselves

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

posts funnier with timestamps on