Ok let me get this straight: you cruelly remove my primary olfactory apparatus then smugly hold it between your fingers saying “got your nose!” and are now expecting to be forgiven because it was “satire”????
noise dept.
$LAYYYTER
todays bird
we're not kids anymore.

⁂
tumblr dot com
ojovivo
Sade Olutola
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

hello vonnie

oozey mess
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

izzy's playlists!
Misplaced Lens Cap
NASA

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@dibbersify
Ok let me get this straight: you cruelly remove my primary olfactory apparatus then smugly hold it between your fingers saying “got your nose!” and are now expecting to be forgiven because it was “satire”????

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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abortion clicker early game : you click the belly 50 times in order to perform one abortion. this lets you buy a doctor who performs 0.1 abortions a second.
abortion clicker mid game: you own hundreds of clinics as well as think-tanks which dismantle sex ed courses as well as politicians which strengthen pro choice institutions
abortion clicker late game: the solar system’s resources have been stripped to build a dyson sphere which incubates trillions of humans for the sole purpose of performing abortions on them. once we achieve hyperspace travel, other stars will power superintelligent machines which will simulate octillions of abortion a second
I realize this is a cast iron gate but I’m choosing to believe it’s a magic protection ritual
It IS a magic protection ritual, and it summons an iron gate to protect you from intruders.
“I cast Iron Gate!”
As a blacksmith I have been called a wizard by several small kids
Why do you become mutuals with random people?
This is the follow random people website

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i drew this in like 5 minutes
Paw prints on a 15th-century Flemish manuscript
crazy that you can overdose on literally anything. I don't mean like vitamins and stuff like that. you can overdose on water and oxygen. ya know. famously 2 most important things to Being Alive As A Human? yeah you can have too much and it can kill you. good luck
i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck
excerpts from erin in the morning's article on the ioc's ban on transgender women and sex testing policy

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GOOD NIGHT
"Love/sex is what makes us human" Wrong. It's the obsession with rectangles. look around you and count the number of rectangles you see.
#looked up and thought ‘that can’t be hard’#and then my eyes widened with horror as I realized the sheer number of rectangles everywhere#I’m . I’m horrified
It's a good shape!
It's Friday at our house, which means it's time for our weekly game of "Is our roommate, Buck..."
A. Having really loud, grunty, panting, desperate sex? No, his girlfriend is not in town.
B. Choking/having a heart attack/dying in some way? No, the strange sounds are interspersed with normal talking.
C. Suddenly super into high intensity workouts that make him pant and grunt with exertion? No, that man hates exercising. He even complains when we convince him to go on a little neighborhood walks (even though he finally admits that the weather is lovely and the sunshine nice.)
D. Aggressively doing VR?
Yes. Yup. It's the last one. It happens EVERY FRIDAY. And yet, every Friday WE FORGET. And then suddenly there is a cacophony of horrid noises, shouts, grunts, desperate dialogue, screams, and pants from the basement.
I can’t dispute my earliest description that it sounds like he’s being porno’d to death.
all books should be written by deeply damaged autistic perverts
@pangur-and-grim ?
YOU DON'T NEED TO TAG ME ON THIS, I WROTE THE POST
I’m glad that OP:
1) Figured this out.
2) Shared so others can learn from their mistake.

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I can’t remember if I told you guys this but my grandpa paid a guy to put up a rock retaining wall in the backyard when my grandparents moved into their house in 1966. They live at the bottom of a mountain. The wall finally collapsed this year and my grandfather with dementia was PISSED OFFFFFF and he wanted so badly to call the guy who did it and chew him out for doing a bad job. My grandma is trying to explain that the wall lasted 60 years and the guy who did the work is probably dead and it TURNS OUT HE IS STILL ALIVE. Now we’re worried grandpa is going to get through to him (small town) and we’re going to see two 85 year old men come to blows over a rock wall that has been there since the mid-60s. My grandpa is a scrapper, he’s been to jail over a bar fight, the possibility that he WOULD fight this guy is high.
To top it off? The stone mason is the only person in town with one arm so grandpa would definitely recognize him if he saw him. If that is your grandpa, please protect him from my grandpa.