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synopsis: every attempt to leave is a reason for you to stay; or: unable to bear the thought of losing you, Lohen decides to offer the promise of his vitality for your everlasting “love.”
before you read: lohen x gn!reader, cw: yandere & suicidal themes, manipulation & guilt-tripping, mentions of guns, mentions of blood but not gorey, overall unhealthy depiction of relationships. **note: I don't think lohen would actually do something like this, but i just couldn’t resist after seeing him put a gun to his head in his trailer…
wc: 1.1k
thank u to @akamigi for the idea <3
“I don’t think this is going to work, Lohen.”
You can barely look at the man in your living room. The last time you had ever felt this apprehensive about something, it had been five minutes before your practical examination with the Knights of Favonius. Back then, your throat had felt dry, indicative of your nervous yet nonetheless hopeful anticipation.
This time, you taste bile, and its acidity makes you grimace with the same disgust flooding through your chest.
Lohen doesn’t look up when you approach him, lounging ever so casually on the couch as he scrapes dried blood from his spear. You frown at the way the flakes settle into your white carpet; it all serves to remind you of the innumerable deaths caused by his hands.
His collection of other weapons — his signature dagger, a mini crossbow, a musket you never knew he used, and a silver revolver — are still settled by his thigh. It’s a lot of weapons that he has. The thought that Lohen intentionally swaps between them to kill most efficiently makes you grimace again.
“Mhm, what’s not workin’ out?”
Lohen’s reply comes easily. It carries an easygoing amusement that makes your heart constrict in guilt. But you know you cannot afford to be soft with him anymore — there’s a sense of resolution in your chest about the fact that you’re going to leave him tonight.
“Lohen.”
His name comes out sharper this time, and the vice captain finally turns to look at you. He raises a confused eyebrow, shrugging at your sudden firm tone.
“I don’t think our relationship is going to work out anymore,” you muster out, trying to sound more resolute about the decision. Even so, there’s a hint of shakiness in your tone, and you know for sure that your boyfriend can sense your ambivalence.
Lohen gives you a delayed, lopsided grin, fingers pausing at the tip of his spear. You can tell he’s not quite sure if you’re messing around with him or not.
“Heh, you’re funny! Did Varka put ya up to this so he can get back at me? Tell the old man to try harder.”
Silence fills the room, and you wince at his disbelieving words. That’s when Lohen realizes that you are, in fact, not messing around with him for the sake of Varka.
That you really, truly, want to leave him.
“Look,” you sigh, working up the courage to explain your feelings. “I know Jean and Varka make these executive decisions, and I know you’re perfect for these kinds of tasks, but I can’t help but feel weird when you’re mercilessly killing every soul you see during your missions. It’s one thing to fulfill the Grand Master’s requirements, but it’s another to flaunt the genuine joy you felt when you murdered every single guard at that underground auction.”
You’re rambling now, trying to force all the words out before you must witness the disappointment that you’re sure is plastered on Lohen’s face.
“Don’t you see we’re not the right fit for each other? We have vastly different goals within the knights, and it seems to me that your only goal is to obsessively seek more power–”
You cut yourself off, unnerved by the lack of reaction from Lohen. When you dare to look at him, there’s a blank, frozen expression on his face. You don’t like how you’re unable to read him. You don’t like how his usual easygoing smirk has vanished, replaced by a clenched jaw.
Most of all, you don’t like how his crimson eyes are flat and dead.
When you were younger, you loved reading in Favonius Library. The romance novels you often indulged in would always describe a character’s anger or disappointment with things like “a shadow fell across his face,” or “her expression darkened.” In the past, you had laughed at the absurdity — how cliché and inaccurate! However, right now you think those sentences perfectly describe the terrifying expression on Lohen’s face.
You curse, suddenly feeling an immense, suffocating guilt wash over you. He hasn’t moved an inch or said a word, yet that blank expression on its own wrenches an apology from your heart.
“Fuck. Lohen, I’m sorry.”
He tilts his head back slightly, looking down at you through his lashes. The way his bangs fall across his forehead messily makes him look younger, yet also a little more unhinged.
“Hah…you want to leave me?”
Lohen’s voice comes out shaky and brittle — strained, so unlike the effortless manner in which he usually addresses you. It feels as if he might cry, yet not a single tear streams down his face. You think it’s a result of the numbness he’s used to feeling.
Lohen pushes himself off the couch, grabbing the revolver he still hadn’t cleaned. It’s a rusty red from his previous victims at that underground auction; now, you think it’s about to be painted with your blood, too.
He doesn’t point the gun at your head.
Instead, Lohen presses the cold barrel firmly against his temple, eyes wide and manic. He’s smiling so unnaturally that it petrifies you into staying frozen on that bloody carpet you previously couldn’t stand.
“No.”
“No, no, no. You can’t. Please don’t. Please don’t leave me.”
Desperation seeps through his words as he steps closer and closer to you, fingers shaking around the handle of the revolver.
“I’ll kill myself if you leave me. I’ll blow my brains out right here. I will, I really will.”
Lohen tilts his head against the gun, pressing the barrel even deeper into his temple. The cold metal bites into his pale skin, but he doesn’t care.
“Hate me with all your heart. Curse my name. Despise the very air I breathe. I don’t care. But please, just do it while you stay by my side.”
Dread seeps into your skin as his finger tightens against the trigger. His words are coming out fast and uneven, and you barely have time to process what he’s doing. His eyes are bloodshot, and the utter desperation in his words makes your heart drop cold.
You’re too scared to leave him.
Lohen knows that this is manipulation, but he doesn’t care.
If he cannot have your pure, unadulterated love, then Lohen will settle for your devotion born of necessity. He will take your guilt, your pity, and your obligation, and he will weave them into a rope that keeps you bound to him forever.
Pair: Aebedo / Albether (it’s complicated, sub top/dom bottom dynamics)
Rating: 🔞 Explicit
Current word count: 33k / 4 chapters
Tags: High School Theatre AU, TA/Student (18/25 age gap)
This is mine and Ama’s spin-off to our other High School Theatre AU, Off-Script. We got a lot of feedback asking to know what’s going on with Albedo and Aether, so.
Contains Chennett in the background, as well as established (mostly off-screen) Luckae
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this is the world’s end (shall we do the one, two?)
Robin /Sydney | T | M/M | Warning for Major Character Death !
sydney and robin can’t love one another. not in this town. they take matters into their own hands.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I don’t really see a lot of work for Sydney/Robin, so I wrote it on my own!! I adore them so much :,). Please heed the tags if you choose to read! This fic focuses heavily on suicide !
But, I love you, angst. I love you unhappy endings <33 And I do hope that this is (somewhat) enjoyable!!
i like to imagine that if Quincy ever needed to pick up Rei (if Rei was too weak to stand due to his 10000+ ways he doesn’t take care of himself), Quincy does actually princess/bridal-carry Rei instead of throwing him over his shoulder sack-of-potatoes style like he does with Eiden. Something about a big, strong guardian carefully carrying his porcelain doll prince…
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If you do hardcore porn and you think you're better than someone who does full service sex work then you're a fool and a traitor.
If you do tastefully suggestive lingerie pics and you think you're better than someone who does full service sex work then you're a fool and a traitor.
If you're a barista and you think you're better than someone who does full service sex work then you're a fool and a traitor.
People that do full service sex work are cool as fuck!
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my first post in tumblr :D made this aoba piece a few days ago and i really like it HAHA ^^ anyway happy pride month to this lovely twink and to everyone out there :333
Alright! So! I'm a fucking idiot
A few days ago @r0m4ndotexe mentioned piercing headcanons for the NuCani boys and I meant to do something with it after the anxiety of posting and tagging died down only to promptly forget about it. Sooo!!
Please indulge me as I rant for a moment and commemorate yet another "rare" post to these morons.
Eiden: Of course he had his ears pierced, nothing super complex or overly interesting but just the incredibly basic lobe studs as a fun starting point. Do not let him fool you!! The lip ring he wears is a fake! He will try to convince you otherwise! He is lying!!
Yakumo: Obviously the easiest answer is to simply mention his gemstone and honestly I'm going to stick with it. Look at this poor boy and tell me he wouldn't be absolutely terrified of needles. He does like to add little decorations to his gemstone though!
Edmond: Absolutely not! He's thought about them of course and he's let his eyes wander more than once to Olivine's gemstone but he also has more than enough restraint. It'd be too impractical for a knight to be worrying about getting it caught anywhere, not to mention the maintenance. He's too busy and too worried about other things, but it's not like he hasn't thought about it.
Olivine: Olivine Olivine Olivine by sweet summer boy, of course, he has piercings! Nipples, lobes, helix, I'm again going to count his gemstone as one just for shits and giggles. However! This is where things get funny~ He does in fact have the piercing he mentions in one of his homescreen dialogues~ Originally he wasn't going to! A man of the cloth can't be allowing himself to be too indulgent after all, but then of course Eiden comes around. If you're going to name a piercing "Jacob's ladder" then it must be alright to some degree~?
Quincy: Too troublesome, because of course they are. The upkeep, the healing time, and the risk of getting it caught in a tree branch is just not worth it. Eiden has begged this man many times to get something, purely for his own enjoyment but the farthest he's managed to get is clipping a few of his fake rings to Quincy's ears while he's asleep and simply enjoying the view until he notices, or cares.
Kuya: Kuya Kuya Kuya, this man, this bastard of a man. Absolutely zero interest in the concept at first, I mean, what's all this uproar about sticking holes and metal in your body? For fun?? Humans are weird. Up until the point where he overhears Eiden's many attempts at begging Quincy to get his tongue pierced, it'd just look so good on him! Kuya isn't going to speak his agreement, but he will have a little surprise for the younger master the next time he's in an important meeting~
Garu/Karu: No, mostly for their own safety. Garu is interested though! The little shiny decorations that nearly everyone seems to have look like so much fun! But Karu is so against it that it's hard for Garu to hear his own thoughts. Why should they mark themselves like these lowly humans!? That and I'm again a firm believer that Karu is also afraid of needles but refuses to admit it.
Blade: Honestly I had a bit of trouble with this boy, at least in terms of trying to add some kind of reality to how it would work for him. Personally, I think he'd be incredibly interested, Darling looks so cute with his piercings and he loves loves loves when he shows them off! But I also think that it just wouldn't be that easy to actually pierce an E-droid's skin, that doesn't leave out fun little stickers though!
Dante: Number one on my goddamn bastard list, yes even in front of Kuya! Give me an SSR you bastard!!! Still love him though and what would make him even better!? Give This Man Traditional Middle Eastern Piercings!!! Give him that nose ring with the chain! The ears! The belly button! Bangle This Man!!! Please.
Rei: Now I'm again going to cheat here, Rei looks fucking identical to one of my own OCs so I am making the decree that they have the same piercings as well. Lobe, industrial, two helixes and of course the tongue. Easy, simple, 1000% self-indulgent, let's move on shall we~?
The familiars: Honestly the two familiars were the easiest for this (besides Olivine) so I may or may not be splitting this up a bit~
Little Aster: I don't care that it's probably impractical but this little guy has his wings pierced, not the actual membrane itself but simply cute little rings and chains around the forearm.
Aster: Another easy and simple but he definitely has his lobes done and probably all around his helix as well.
Scarlet Finesse: Now this! This is a masterpiece! Every piercing he has in his basic form with snake bites to cap it off~ I'm also a firm believer that much like Yakumo, Aster has a forked tongue. It's not as pronounced as Yakumo's is but Aster does have both sides of his tongue done.
Little Morvay: Best boy, baby boy, cute boy, so cute I'm going to strangle him I swear to god. I don't think he has any piercings in this form and originally had the idea of at least giving him little rings to put over his little horns but I'm going to scrap that idea.
Morvay: Baby, baby, baby, baby, who going to match with my other baby and have his nipples pierced as well as simple little lobes and that helix. After all, what incubus wouldn't have his nipples pierced???
Mauve Mayhem: Everything, god damn everything, he's the other half of the reason why Olivine has so many and no I don't have favourites. Nipples, bellybutton, Jacob's ladder, industrial, helix, lobes, snake bites and his tongue. But~ Just like Aster and Yakumo, he has a differently shaped tongue, although unlike them, it's tapered. He has three studs down the middle~!
There! Done~! I did it~!!
And if you've made it this far, thank you for reading my mad ramblings! Hopefully, it's all coherent enough!
Good luck with those pulls~!!!
Yuri But Luxurious @luxyuri - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook
