Books Are Love Books Are Life

i know. it’s all wrong. by rights we shouldn’t even be here. but we are. it’s like in the great stories, mr frodo. the ones that really mattered. full of darkness and danger they were. and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. because how could the end be happy? how could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened?

but in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. even darkness must pass. a new day will come. and when the sun shines it will shine out clearer. those were the stories that stayed with you. that meant something. even if you were too small to understand why. but i think, mr frodo, i do understand. i know now. folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. because they were holding on to something.

what are we holding on to, sam?

Like this applies to all “invisible” disabilities in the sense that just bc you can’t see what’s wrong doesn’t mean nothing is wrong or they aren’t disabled but it’s especially the case for chronic migraines

Migraines are NOT just headaches. It’s not just “oof ow my head hurt :(”, Migraines are WHOLE body affair. It’s getting weepy and irritable hours before the pain hits, it’s starting to get clumsy and feeling body aches just before the pain starts, it’s getting stiff because of the aches and sensitive to light and sound because of how heightened senses get.

And when the pain gets, sometimes it is the general image of someone locked in a dark room in bed, which is genuinely awful bc you can’t do anything. You just have to lay there and stew in your pain and no medicine touches it and everything hurts, worst of all your head and there is nothing to focus on other than the pain because any light hurts and any sound hurts.

But sometimes the pain isn’t bad enough for that, or sometimes you have to work or go to school with nails in your head and it’s impossible to focus. Your depth perception gets wonky, you’re clumsy, you slur or stumble over your words because so much of your brain is occupied only by pain. You can’t miss another day of work, you can’t miss the money, but you’re messing up orders or you’re misunderstanding instructions.

And then there’s the after. Postdrome, the migraine hangover. Where the emotional and irritability returns, and you have issues with your stomach, very often leaving you unable to eat or drink without puking. Your neck is stiff, your head feels heavy, your brain is so fogged up that you can barely string together a coherent sentence. Your body aches much worse than before, and you’re exhausted, fatigued to hell and back, and that lasts for 1-3 days after the actual migraine.

Migraines are a multi-day condition that affects EVERY aspect of your fucking life. And medicines that treat the pain very often only lessen the symptoms that occur before and after.

Facial Masculinization (FMS) . Which includes:

Tracheal Augmentation: Creating an Adam's Apple.

Rhinoplasty: AKA a "nose-job" , while many people get these to make there nose smaller, transmasc people can also get them to make ther bridge and the overall structure larger, wider, and more prominent.

Brow Bone Augmentation & Hairline Repositioning (this usually involves adding an implant)

Jaw and Chin Augmentation (this usually involves adding an implant)

Buccal Fat Removal: Removes fat from the cheeks, to make the face less round.

Dermal Fillers: Temporarily builds volume in the chin, cheeks, or jawline without major surgery.

Beard implant: Moves hair follicles from a donor area (usually the back of the scalp or under the chin) onto the face to create a thicker or fuller beard

Vocal masculinization. Which includes:

Type III thyroplasty: lowers the pitch of someone's voice by relaxing the vocal chords.

Injection laryngoplasty: adding volume to the vocal folds using derma fillers or autologous fat. Derma fillers are temporary and fat grafting is significantly more long lasting.

Direct vocal fold testosterone injections: Exactly what it says in the tin, they inject testerone directly into your vocal chords and it lowers the pitch. This is a new procedure and we're unsure if it's temporary or permanent.

Body Masculinization. Which includes:

Body Sculpting Liposuction: Removes fat from the hips, flanks, thighs, and lower back to straighten the waistline and square the torso.

Top Surgery or chest masculization. Which includes:

Double Incision mastectomy: This is the one most people know. Two long horizontal cuts across the chest; used for medium to large chests or extra skin; nipples are typically resized and grafted back on. You can leave the nipples off if you want. There is a small chance of loosing nipple sensation.

Inverted-T (Anchor): Uses a horizontal cut plus a vertical drop down to the nipple; keeps the nipple attached to its blood supply/nerves; good for larger chests wanting to save nipple sensation.

Buttonhole: Similar to the inverted-T but without a major vertical skin removal; keeps the nipple attached on a stalk to preserve sensation.

Peri-Areolar (Circumareolar): A circular cut around the outer edge of the areola to remove tissue and extra skin rings; best for small chests with good skin snap-back.

Keyhole: A tiny cut along the bottom edge of the areola; used for very small chests (A-cup or small B-cup) with no loose skin; leaves minimal scarring.

Bottom Surgery or FTM/FTX SRS:

Phalloplasty: Builds a full-sized penis using a skin and tissue graft from the forearm or thigh, done in multiple stages and often including urethral lengthening and erectile implants (see more on erectile implants in the next section). The natal neo phallus is typically buried at the root of the phalloplasty shaft. There is unfortunately a lot of fear mongering and misinformation about Phalloplasty. Most Phalloplasty images you see shared are either mid stage (not completed) and/or haven't healed yet.

Glansplasty: This surgical procedure creates the look of a circumcised penis. A crown is added after phalloplasty for a more aesthetically typical phallus.

Glans Implant: silicone ridge added to Glansplasty to prevent flattening. To my knowledge currently only Dr. Curtis Cane performs this.

Metoidioplasty: AKA "Meta". Uses the natal neo phallus growth that develops from being on testosterone therapy to create a small (2-3 inches typically) penis, preserving full sensation, the ability to have erection without an implant or external device, and has a shorter recovery time.

Scrotoplasty: Shapes labial tissue into a scrotum and places silicone testicular implants. Avaliable with both phalloplasty and metodioplastly.

Urethroplasty: lengthen and reroute the urethra, which allows you to stand and pee. Possible with Phalloplasty, metodioplastly, and non phallus constructive vaginectomy.

Vaginectomy: Removal of the vaginal canal and labia and the the vaginal opening is sutured shut. This is not required to have Phalloplasty or metodioplastly. It is also possible to get a vaginectomy without constructing a phallus, resulting in a smooth transition from the abdomen to the groin, without any genitals. A hysterectomy is required to get a vaginectomy.

Erectile Implants for Phalloplasty. Which include:

Inflatable Implants: Fluid-filled systems (available in 2-piece or 3-piece configurations) that use a scrotal pump to inflate cylinders for an erection and a release valve to return to a flaccid state.

Malleable Implants: Aka "semi-rigid rods". Bendable silicone or wire rods laced inside the phallus that can be manually moved up for use and down for concealment.

The ZSI-475 FTM: This is the only implant designed specifically with transgender men in mind. It is an inflatable implant and has a single piece configuration. It provides an incorporated anchorage plate, in the proximal part of the cylinder, composed of stainless steel and silicone to be sealed with four non-absorbable stitches to the pubic periosteum. The pump is testicle-shaped to improve aesthetical appearance of the scrotum. It is a relatively new implant and less data on it is avaliable in comparison to other erectile implants.

Non Surgical Erectile Devices for trans men post bottom surgery:

The Elator: Consists of two silicone or expandable bands connected by plastic-coated rigid or flexible metal support rods, which hold the phalloplasty in an erect position.

Capitalism can still thrive with recycling in the mix. You buy Plastic Thing 1, throw it away after one use, and they take that and recycle it into Plastic Thing 2 and sell it back to you. All while continuing to harm the environment.

Reusing puts a damper on things. They can't sell you Plastic Thing 2 when you're still using Plastic Thing 1. Plastic forks, for example- there is literally no reason why you can't reuse plastic forks more than once (aside from maybe microplastics, but it's too late for that)

Reduce what you can

Reuse everything still in working order

Recirculate what you don’t need by sharing or selling onward

Refurbish what’s fallen out of good condition so it lasts longer

Repair what’s broken altogether

Repurpose what can’t serve its original function

Recycle what is unsuitable for repurposing

So first of all this one girl told us about a newer metaphor in Russian, "I have paws", which is something you say when you don't really want to do something, so you say you're incapable of doing it since you have paws instead of hands. Like, "hey, finish that report" "aw but I have paws :(" and I think that's adorable. It has "I'm just a girl" energy without the misogyny.

We also had the task to invent a novel metaphor and have the others guess what it means, and the teacher really liked my "she's such a capybara" = "everyone loves her". Capybara energy is like golden retriever energy except you're chill about it. You're just vibing and everyone digs that.

these deserve to become more

common in English