my feral corner of the internet

not to "trying to be chill but can't help noticing how misogyny bleeds through the cracks etc etc" but once you realize that almost none of the cute disney comic relief sidekicks are women you can't unsee it. like that thing only exists to do some slapstick and look cute for plushies. why can't it be a woman. why are ALL of them he/him. it's driving me fucking insane

I would like to formally apologize to everyone. I had no idea what consequences my actions would create but I should have been more careful anyway. I should have remembered this is a Genie Website and I should have clarified that when I want more female nonhuman comedic relief characters, I did not mean I wanted Olaf the Snowman to have an intensely heterosexual love interest in Frozen 3. I will do my best to go through each post with a team of lawyers going forwards to ensure this never happens again.

odysseus absolutely does present a threat to penelope if he perceives her as at all unfaithful, and i feel the unfairness of this, and i think people tend to undersell how much tension at least potentially exists between odysseus and penelope. but i'm also like. his reaction, all speculation aside, his actual reaction in the odyssey to her flirting with the suitors is delight, because he immediately ascertains that she is running a con. sorry that they're so in-sync in spite of the forces that try to drive a wedge between them, including their own misgiving hearts. sorry that they invented homophrosyne ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

would i, tumblr user thee odysseyofhomer, lie to you?

...

this is the only funny addition to this post

just saw a deactivated mutual's post on my dash. that's my dead wife's corpse you're all dragging around

I also reblog this guys dead wife.

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

This is completely ignoring the fact that the sheep's soul is stored in its wool. So sure, the body remains, but the spirit, the essence of the sheep, that's gone forever, and then as the wool regrows a new soul moves in.

What

Same for me, I get a new soul with every haircut. That's why my personality changes so much.

Tumblr citizenship means being completely unsure if the person posting about sheep souls is being 100% serious or is just taking the piss.

THEY TAKE THEIR PISS TOO?!?!?

Yup, stockpiling it in giant buckets to pour on the poor

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

I've got to find myself more macrophage

Now Hiring: macrophages

immunesystem.com/careers/macrophage

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

when you use love as an ingredient it's really important to use a contrasting flavor like hate or malice to cut the monotony of the dish and balance the profile so it doesn't overpower the palate

I just mowed my 88 year old papas lawn and when i came back inside he lifted my arm to reveal a bug that was attempting to hitchhike into the house. At which point he said "you will NEVER escape my garden." And flicked it back into the grass

Garden of Eden Good Ending AU

*walks up to the bar* get me a white gilgamesh. and make it warm, its gonna be a long night

I imagine if the fae existed, Jews and especially rabbis would have a lot easier time dealing with them than gentiles.

If you need an exorcism you find a catholic priest. If you need to get fae contract divorced, you find a rabbi.

I am not Jewish, but I would buy every book of a series featuring a rabbi who has a side job dealing with the Fae.

The Exorcist and the Rabbi are partners... When the problem is talkative the Rabbi takes the lead, when the problem is violent the Exorcist is in their element.

"Getting into this hobby is actually super cheap and easy!!!! First, start with a section of land and a house that you own and can mess up at your discretion"

The original inspiration for this is that I've looked up a lot of basic woodworking stuff multiple times to try and make better and better tortoise enclosures, and ended up in this trap every time lmao

"It's much cheaper to just buy this size of wood and take it to your table saw" WHAT FUCKING TABLE SAW

the secret is that people who have a garage with a table saw are constantly looking for reasons to justify that use of space and money. so if you find somebody with a table saw and ask if you can use it, you're actually doing them a huge favor by justifying the saw continuing to take up space. "of course I need a table saw. what if somebody needs to upgrade a turtle enclosue."

#1. go to local gay bar 2. find group of 50-60 yr olds. 3. ask if anyone has a table saw 4. watch eyes light up

With this four step plan you get a place to practice woodworking with optional sex with some older men

For anyone wanting it, they can cut your material for you at most Home Depots if you need it

But can I have sex with older men there

These entry level job requirements are really getting out of hand, my goodness

guys i just got the best anon ever idk if i can post this i want to keep it framed in my inbox forever.

i think as a writer, the older you get and the more you read, the more you realize there are very few actual truly bad ideas. which is a relief. but! the other thing you learn is that stories live and die on the execution and ha ha. lemme tell you. unfortunately. there are lots and lots of bad ways to execute an otherwise fine idea