a mess

i genuinely don't think there's much, if anything, hotter than someone clearly having a blast doing something they're really good at. doesn't really matter what it is. the combo of competence and joy is absolutely lethal to me

i feel bad as fuck for bugs you look weird and people just step on you

much like the humble blogger

I can clearly remember the moment I first realised my mother and I were living on completely different planes of existence. I was 7 years old and I came home from my school's first track and field day having placed second or third in every event. the teachers had been making jokes all afternoon about how many times they had to call my name. my friends thought I was cool as shit. my enemies thought I was cool as shit too, come to think of it. I was proud as hell. so I get home with the entire front of my shirt covered in ribbons like I was a military dictator who'd awarded himself every medal, I walk into the kitchen and tell my mum all about my day, and she goes "oh, that must be disappointing not getting any firsts." and I'm like no?? first of all the first place ribbons are red and I don't like red. second of all look at me. there's literally nowhere left on my body for accolades. I am fucking Jacked of All Trades. how could this possibly be a disappointment.

whenever you see C#m on a chord sheet you know the musician was just playing bar chords and couldn’t resist the temptation of the most annoying chord in the god damn book

so i just noticed that c sharp minor is a bit shocking to read when spelled out in shorthand

whenever you see cum on a chord sheet you know the musician was just jackin it

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

Southerners really went off with “y’all” and the Brits really went off with “innit” but most of all the Aussies really went off with calling everyone cunts all the time

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why the fuck is it called the xbox 360 what does 360 mean???????????????????

when u see it u turn 360 degrees and walk away

turning 360 degrees would face you right back to the xbox you dipshit

this post somehow still in circulation despite everyone involved being deactivated

even you

Even me

One legitimately weird thing about Tumblr is that we literally can’t code for shit, many people quit working at Tumblr due to a hostile work environment, and we can’t seem to program a simple blogging website to not flood your RAM.

i hate how they market alexa as a ‘member of the family’ like that’s SO fucking blatantly insidious and terrifying also if i wanted an untrustworthy/cold/emotionless machine in my life i’d just talk to my fuckin father 

“Guys stop bullying my wiretap”

#did we all collectively forget why Big Brother was called that

*turns a perfect 180 degrees so that my cutting board-flat ass is facing you* *i walk away with feminine swagger but masculine contempt*

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man