Corruption and Cotton Candy

atleast we have megan thee stallion. at the end of the day atleast we have her

big tshirt that says MY INTERPRETATIONS MUST HAVE A STRONG BASIS IN THE SOURCE MATERIAL on the front and THIS IS FUN TO ME on the back

long distance friendships are terrible what do you mean I can’t hug you or sit with you or lay on your floor when I’m bored what dO YOU MEAN

i'm gonna be me forever and im gonna get really really good at it

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

the scariest thing in the world is probably whatever's going on in the tiny gap between my kitchen counters and the oven

"Old friend" is a gayass thing to call someone

Old friend (derogatory(sexual intent))

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

Attempting to locate a new Greek restaraunt using my gyroscope

Everybody say "thank you south america" for the humble potato