My Totally Tubular Tumblr

no, i’m not going to pounce on you. just don’t move while i get into a higher position. and look the other way.

bigs my pupils at you. tail twitching. im trustworthy. don’t even worry about it. my claws are sheathed.

every time I’m in public and I do that reassuring normal person curtesy smile at someone while I’m passing by them in a store I feel like I look like Dexter Morgan

Tattoo artist and I were debating over where to place my thigh tattoo. I, pants pulled down and half a buttcheek out in a large airy room in front of the windows said nervously “haha, I know I have a lot of thigh to work with” and they go “OMG yes I feel so bad for skinny clients because their art gets all crowded. You could get some nice big pieces on your arms and legs though”. Hell yeah my friend. Yet another W for the fat crowd tonight.

level 271 penismancer demonstrating his arcane might

After a 5 year hiatus, national embarrassment Conor McGregor debuts in his own mma tournament called World's Baddest Man and his very first move is to blow out his knee and collapse to the ground