Ada

It gets you

1: waow magic is everywhere

Please talk about dragon bears

A long while back, I was experimenting with a magic system which involved, say, consuming the hearts of other animals to gain a measure of their power.

This is due to Fantasy Amber - inspired by Whale Ambergris - growing inside your body which Connects you to Magic itself. Said Amber holds a memory of the Organism it was bound to previously, and transfers some of that to whatever consumes it.

Humans don't have sufficiently high concentrations of Amber because I tied it to body mass. Elephants, Bears and so forth have a lot of it, and Megafauna survive to the present day because Amber gives them a survival egde.

Anyway

When a Bear, say, consumes the flesh of a Dragon, then the bear becomes slightly more draconic. Said draconism allows it to hunt better, and therefore potentially consume more dragons, furthering this cycle.

Over hundreds of generations, bears which are already somewhat draconic end up mating with more dragon bears and so forth, until you end up with dragon bears as a unique species of bear.

In fact, the amber to mass ratio is very nonlinear. As you get to higher sizes, you need a lot more Amber to stay alive, so you end up hyperoptimising for creatures with a relatively higher amount.

In general, there's Amber everywhere in the body, but dwindles rapidly outside that core.

#do all animals have this amber?#Do other organisms? (Plants? Fungi?)#<- Yes! Fungi bacteria and suchlike don't have it by virtue of being smaller than a unit of Amber usually#But plants do#And secrete them in sap-like deposits in the stem. Plants don't accumulate enough to cause mutation unless you ate that specific plant alon

#Do eggs give you amber? or not until they hatch?#<- I think - based on what I've done - is that Eggs would have a small amount in them.

#Is the age of the animal a factor bc its based on memory?#is the animal itself's memory a factor or just the magic's?#<- You DO get more Amber with age#And said Amber is also more solid by virtue of your memories and suchlike becoming more concrete

#Do farmers who own and eat specific species start evolving those features over time?#<- Humans are a little weird#Amber doesn't stick around in the body for long enough to bind other Amber#But if you gave a diet restricted to - say - a single variety of sheep#Then that population WOULD grow sheeplike features over time

- middle aged man who ordered matcha and then just Stood There and watched me make it. when i handed it to him he said i did a good job whisking it and handed me $1.25. ten minutes later when he and his wife left he shouted across the store that i have "good whisk technique" and "don't lose that!"

- woman who ordered a drink with the word "salty" in the name and then said "but with salted caramel." and when i said yeah that one comes with salted caramel she said "really? not just normal caramel?" and it took every ounce of my self control not to say yeah girl that's why it's called. Salty.

my goddess assigned big sister: what are you talking about lil sis? we gotta go into town quick if we wanna get some fresh bread! they always sell out way too fast.. gweeeh...

me: ok so is that a no cus i feel like being a sick ass monster or a demon would be a lot mors citting for my personality

my goddess assigned mother (going to die soon to give us a tragic backstory): dont be silly dear, here, two pieces of gold so you can both get a loaf of breax

my goddess assigned big sister: score!

me: ok so you guys just arent listening to me at all then

my goddess assigned big sister: cmon sis lets hurry!!

big sis: aw, cheer up sis! we can always get some tomorrow!

villager: RUN! THERE'S A GIANT MONSTER ATTACKING THE TOW- [CRASH. giant explosion of rubble that sends the guy flying]

big sis: LITTLE SIS! TAKE MY HAND! WE GOTTA RUN!!!

me: AW WHAT. DUDE. THAT SHOULD BE ME. I SHOULD BE THE GIANT MONSTER- ACCKDKM [she takes my hand and drags me along] WHY AM I SO SMALL AND WEAK LET GO OF ME

big sis: oh god.. the monster.. its heading.. ITS HEADING TOWARDS HOME! MOM!!!

me: ITS SO BADASS AND COOL LOOKING.. FUCK.. THIS SUCKS THIS SUCKS THIS SUCKS

big sis: WE GOTTA GO AFTER HER [running insidd to try and save mom]

AD-1 rotating wing plane

FIRST LAW: This character must be a woman.

SECOND LAW: This character must be a loser, but not in a way that can be pinned on her gender. Misogynistic response from the audience does not disqualify the character.

THIRD LAW: If the audience does not enjoy this character, then it becomes impossible to enjoy the show/film/book/game altogether. It is not possible to ignore this character, for better or for worse.

guy from 2006: do you have dude where's my car

guy(?) from 1862: and these hormone remedies you spoke of earlier, they allow you to develop sexual characteristics of a female? is that true? are they expensive?

me: nah theyre not that expensive, i can hook you up bartholemew. seconding dude wheres my car

guy who owns multiple criterion blu rays: i do not own such a movie physically

me: its chill its on tubi

guy from 2006: tubi rocks

me: yeah tubis chill. here [plays the movie]

girl from 1862: BY JOVE? ARE THESE MOVING PICTURES? HOW FASCINATING! ...do they make pornographic content like this?