Far too tired to fall asleep

you will never be a bad person for not reblogging a post on tumblr, please remember that

Do you think when Cecil Baldwin said the lines “Sleep heavily and know that I am here with you now. The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first and settles in as the gentle present. This now, this us? We can cope with that” he knew he was about to change my life forever?

We need to isolate and start selectively breeding the plastic eating bacteria so we can optimise their efficiency, and then somehow splice their DNA into the gut bacteria of an obligate carnivore, so we can put it in our cats gut biomes so they'll finally be free of having to choose between whether they want to eat plastic or whether they want to live.

Just saw the interview where Curry Barker explained that it's totally possible to get a normal wish from the One Wish Willow, and I love the way they did that so much. The reason Obsession happened isn't because it's trying to twist Bear's desires into something evil. It's not even because he phrased his want wrong. Obsession happened because Bear got his hands on a magic item that could do anything in existence, and chose to force someone to fall in love with him, which is an inherently evil thing to do.

yeah like. There's no way to fulfill that wish that isn't horrific. Basically the only solution that doesn't override someone's free will is the actual monkeys paw answer, which is killing off anyone and everyone she loves more than him.

Steven Universe Heritage post

my favorite character headcanon is "severely depressed, not because they have depression, but because they've had unacknowledged ADHD their whole life and they internalized it as a personal failing and now they have rock-bottom self esteem and no faith in themself"

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

kicks rock where's MY socialist muslim elected offical

love the global audience chiming in we're in this together

boss makes a lemon i make a lime. we work at the citrus factory

boss makes a demon I make a knife. We work at the evil torture factory.

need a hat that says I WONT SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO AND ITS NOT BECAUSE IM DISINTERESTED AND DONT LIKE YOU I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND SOCIAL INTERACTION AS WELL AS MOST PEOPLE AND ASSUME BY DEFAULT MY PRESENCE IS UNWELCOME AS A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE SO I KEEP TO MYSELF BUT I DONT MIND IF YOU INITIATE so i can wear it to work

Need a hat that doesn't say anything at all and is multicolored with a little plastic propeller on top

Ah yeah, as opposed to pointy music

must be some really smooth jazz

probably speaks to something unwell in the collective tumblr psyche that those absurdly bleak bad luck brian memes are the only survivors of, like, an entire genre of different advice animal image macros.

This implies that Brian is considered an animal

lsst time I checked humans weren't fungi

Not yet. Not yet. But let's talk again October 12th 2028 and let's see

In a romantic situationship with the %appdata% folder rn

Ohhh how the tables turn, the tables turn back into humans—for you see these where no ordinary tables, they where weretables, similar to werewolf's except they turn into tables every full moon instead of wolves, and now the full moon is gone and the sun rises, and the tables turn, back into humans I mean.

Due to inflation Nickelback is now a quarterback for the nfl

I used to really like the ✨ emoji but now she's best friends with AI and I feel like I can't trust her anymore

NO do NOT let them win. We can save her. We can wrest her association back from AI. She doesn't deserve this and we can't abandon her.

✨✨✨sparkles emoji my beloved forever✨✨✨