Far too tired to fall asleep

you will never be a bad person for not reblogging a post on tumblr, please remember that

kicks rock where's MY socialist muslim elected offical

love the global audience chiming in we're in this together

boss makes a lemon i make a lime. we work at the citrus factory

boss makes a demon I make a knife. We work at the evil torture factory.

need a hat that says I WONT SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO AND ITS NOT BECAUSE IM DISINTERESTED AND DONT LIKE YOU I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND SOCIAL INTERACTION AS WELL AS MOST PEOPLE AND ASSUME BY DEFAULT MY PRESENCE IS UNWELCOME AS A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE SO I KEEP TO MYSELF BUT I DONT MIND IF YOU INITIATE so i can wear it to work

Need a hat that doesn't say anything at all and is multicolored with a little plastic propeller on top

Ah yeah, as opposed to pointy music

must be some really smooth jazz

probably speaks to something unwell in the collective tumblr psyche that those absurdly bleak bad luck brian memes are the only survivors of, like, an entire genre of different advice animal image macros.

This implies that Brian is considered an animal

lsst time I checked humans weren't fungi

Not yet. Not yet. But let's talk again October 12th 2028 and let's see

In a romantic situationship with the %appdata% folder rn

Ohhh how the tables turn, the tables turn back into humans—for you see these where no ordinary tables, they where weretables, similar to werewolf's except they turn into tables every full moon instead of wolves, and now the full moon is gone and the sun rises, and the tables turn, back into humans I mean.

Due to inflation Nickelback is now a quarterback for the nfl

I used to really like the ✨ emoji but now she's best friends with AI and I feel like I can't trust her anymore

NO do NOT let them win. We can save her. We can wrest her association back from AI. She doesn't deserve this and we can't abandon her.

✨✨✨sparkles emoji my beloved forever✨✨✨

Hi hello white tumblr user, over there is a transgender Muslim. I want you to be normal about them for 5 minutes. If you make a comment about fantasizing about them getting executed, wishing about them leaving their religon, or them detransitioning. I'm putting you in a saw contraption and letting you die. Good luck <333

WHY IS MY NAME BEEF IN YOUR PHONE

you know................. like bf...............

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

[image id: photo of a bus with a speech bubble to the above post]

they had to put king in jail because he wanted to kill children and still refuses to not kill children which cracks me up but queen runs free because all she did was want to play sick ass games with you when she wasnt misled by opening a fountain she just wants to drink wine and chill out

*battery acid

i think everyone in the whole world forgot that mystery doesn’t have to equal crime

sometimes it’s just like. what happent ?