heated rivalry took over

i'm not joking when i say ilya admitting to shane that he looked up compatible was one of the bravest things ever. shane also asking for ilya's room number was so brave too. i love them

i need to see shane hollander plank until failure

its really important to me that people understand that when ilya calls hayden “15th best metro” he is fully joking. while certainely not on shane and ilyas level, hayden is one of shanes wingers on the first line. you dont get put on the first line with shane fucking hollander by being bad at hockey. same goes for ilyas chirp about shanes backhand. i doubt theres a single skill in hockey shane is truly subpar at.

the idea that hollander "tamed" rozanov is really funny to shane because like. ilya finds it hot and is always going along with it, yes of course my husband is so sexy why do you think i moved to this boring fucking city. for dick. meanwhile shane knows the truth which is that ilya tamed himself. he herded shane like a sheepdog until he was exactly in the right position for ilya to flop down at his feet and say i love you, i am a one man guy, sleep with other people if you want but you are it for me, so shane is always there like ??? ilya. what are you talking about. i was literally prepared to be a secret slot on your roster for the rest of time without even admitting that i was gay until you decided to have me over make me lunch and say my name while you come like a love confession and ilya goes lyubmiyy. shut up. i was untamable you tamed the untamable and so shane has to be like yes, baby, i worked so hard, i used all my tricks but he's rolling his eyes because ilya wants to be a wolf shane coaxed inside to sleep on the hearth but instead he's a cat who snuck through the window and fell in love with his prey. self domesticated. and this is just one of the many perfect games they play

ilya hanging out with The GuysTM and they get a little drunk and start talking about girls and sex and they make a game out of who has done the craziest thing in the bedroom and the guys say stuff like in high school i fucked my gf while her dad was home and yeah jessie wanted to tie me up the other day and ilya will say things like one time shane couldn’t sleep so i edged him the whole night and then made him cum so hard he passed out and slept for seven hours and shane bought this book with 100 different sex positions and we tried them all over three days and he made a spreadsheet and the guys just pat him on the back like sure roz, keep telling yourself that, there’s no way hollander wants anything but regular missionary for 8 minutes and no matter what ilya says they never believe him

ilya is absolutely a ‘would u still love me if i was a worm’ boyfriend but unfortunately he’s also a ‘how long would i have to be in a coma for before you stopped visiting me every day’ boyfriend. every night just as shane is about to get to sleep he will be Asked A Question. it might be silly. it might be miserable. the only guarantee is that it will not be the kind of thing he wants to answer when he’s this close 🤏 to being asleep

I see you butch4butch lily n jane n I raise you lily is ABSOLUTELY femme. lily wants her little black dress where her shit is SITTING. her eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man. she loves a plunging neckline and a six inch heel. she's bathed in body glitter and flower perfume and is in a club somewhere tormenting jane who is wearing her one (1) pair of ripped jeans because it is her single piece of 'party attire' that wasnt a full suit

shane, face down ass up panting and moaning, telling ilya to fuck him harder because “wanna still feel you inside me tomorrow when i beat your ass”, and that proves to be a challenge for ilya because that turns him on so much he almost blacks out and blows his load on the spot