Don't prod the beach rubble.

doechii and megan could literally kill a man in broad daylight and i'd be on here defending them

man im so hungry i could eat a Troy Barrett Casting Announcement

Suspect is fleeing on foot. Short round male, last seen in a purple robe and jeweled crown. Armed with a large turkey leg and a goblet of wine.

podracer Sebulba notably absent from swift-kelce wedding attendees............

wtf are borders anyway. like yeah u were born on this beautiful earth buuuuut 😊 u cant go here. or here either

proposing a new historical framework called “the very long nineteenth century: we’re still in it”

get ready for the most annoying type of european tk snark that the US is "only" 250 years old despite their home nation-state being at most of a similar age.

New insufferable type of guy: American who loudly sneers at any Europeans from countries created after the Congress of Vienna for being proud of hailing from a college linguistics club run amok

every few months i try to figure out how to build a website so that if tumblr ever gets nuked i dont lose all my writing and every few months i have to remind myself that i am a fish trying to climb a tree

really recommend getting a partner with a different religion than you and very little knowledge of your religion because the opportunities for explaining things to each other are just exquisite

yesterday she told me some story about the Buddha's wife and child and I was like. Wait. He fucked? And she was like yeah of course he fucked, why wouldn't he, he was the most attractive and loveable and and wise and etc. person who ever lived. why would he not fuck.

this morning she looked perplexed in the kitchen at me and said "did Jesus not fuck?"

one of my favorite sidgeno quotes is that interview (?) where someone asked geno what sid (born yapper) says to him and the guys on the bench during games and geno’s like honestly no clue he talks too fast and I’m not trying all that hard to understand. this has probably saved our marriage more times than I can count