"There is a very attractive woman in front of Ilya. A woman that wants to fuck him. His body is consciously aware of this very fact, however, his entire brain seems to neglect it, opting to scream look at what’s behind her like a screeching freight train.
On the screen is the dark outline of a person, shot against a blinding sun. Any distinguishable features are obscured, cloaked in dim shadow. Still, Ilya knows exactly who it is.
He would recognize that silhouette anywhere."
Or, Ilya keeps seeing Shane everywhere — on the TV, in advertisements. It may or may not be interfering with his attempts to get laid, and also does nothing to change the fact that he hasn't seen Shane in months. Set during the 2014-2016 montage era.
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Shane and Ilya had just arrived at their summer home, and stepped out back. They took a moment to stand and survey the comforting, familiar sight.
“What do you think about camping?” asked Shane.
“What? This is camping.” Ilya gestured around with his hand. “We are surrounded by trees. And lake.”
“This isn’t camping, we’re in a cottage.”
“Is camping with air conditioning and indoor plumbing,” Ilya insisted.
“We could find someplace nice. We could go for a hike.”
“Yes, great, you know how I love walking to nowhere,” Ilya replied sarcastically, then got a glint in his eye. “Are you unhappy, Hollander? This is how all those documentaries start where men take their wives out to murder them for insurance money or so they can marry their mistress."
“Oh, fuck you,” said Shane laughing.
Ilya shot his eyebrows up suggestively and smirked. “Okay.”
“I’m just saying. We could get a tent… fuck under the stars.”
“Do not try to manipulate me with sex.”
“Wow.”
“I can fuck you under stars on this deck. Is same stars.”
“You’re such an asshole. And this isn’t private. Someone could see!”
“Oh. Like you would mind…” Ilya smirked.
Shane blushed.
Ilya shook his head. “No one would see. Why? Because we are in forest surrounded by trees.”
“We still have neighbors…”
“They are far away," he said dismissively. "But fine. I am one who prefers to fuck you in our king size bed.”
“I’m surprised how boring you’re being about this.”
Ilya let out an indignant scoff and sighed dramatically. “Canadians think all Russians grow up frolicking with bears in the snow and running alongside wolves in the forest, yes?
Shane laughed out, “Fuck you. I don’t think that!”
“I grew up in Moscow. Major city. Am not… one with nature. I went to a forest clearing once– for a rave, Shane.”
Shane was laughing.
“Scott Hunter is from New York. Think he hangs out in forest for fun, too?
“Actually, before hockey, he participated in a program for disadvantaged youth at a camp outside the city two weeks every summer.”
Ilya gave him a sly look, but it was overshadowed by the fondness that shone in his eyes and pulled at his lips. Ilya knew the same story about Scott. “I hate when you ruin my jokes with logic.”
“Hm. Am sure is very useful for Hunter to know how to build a fire with twigs in his luxury apartment.”
Shane grinned. He knew it was one of the many things his husband found endearing.
“You’re such a baby. I thought you were the man who said he wanted to fuck me everywhere. But tents are too much effort…”
Ilya turned quickly to face his husband and pulled him close by the waist, so their bodies were flush and touching. For a moment they smiled into each other’s faces.
“Let’s go inside now, and I will fuck you standing up, if you want to rough it.” His voice had gotten thick.
“For the record… you’re still a dick,” Shane replied, as he was turning to go back inside the cottage.
“Hard. Up against the glass. So you can look at all your trees.”
Ilya followed him indoors.
***
They had been at the cottage now for about a week. Shane had just gotten back from a trip to the farmer’s market with his dad and Ilya helped him unpack groceries.
“Come. I have surprise," Ilya said after they finished. He grabbed Shane’s hand and led him out to the back.
Ilya watched his face as Shane took in the scene before him. Two long skewers rested on top of a cooler next to a bag of giant sized marshmallows by the fire pit. A large blue and black tent was assembled nearby.
Shane smiled softly. “Wow. You’ve been busy.”
“The turkey sausages you like are in the cooler. We will roast them. Lots of water… lots of soft drinks… some granola… a sweet treat. We can stay out all night, like it is camping.”
Ilya pulled him over and down into the tent.
Shane noted there was already a bottle of lube and a pack of the sensitive skin wipes they liked tucked inside, atop of two thick, spread-out sleeping bags.
“Come,” said Ilya as he laid on his back and encouraged Shane to do the same.
When they were lying side-by-side Shane turned his face towards Ilya, who was looking back and smiling. It took Shane’s breath away how lucky he was.
Ilya turned and reached up to unzip something at the top of the tent. Its version of a skylight. Ilya settled back down. He linked his fingers through the ones on Shane’s closest hand. Ilya turned to look back at Shane, who was still watching him.
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Pre Lilya's #mywife era. They're still riding that high after Lilya dropped the girlfriend word in front of Shane's parents. They're girlfriends and they love each other so much and the cottage is theirs and only theirs:)
Do I think Hollanov would play Stardew? No. But if they DID, then Shane is running that farm like the navy while Ilya is busy collecting all the animals and making sure they're the happiest they can be.
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people who definitely know that Hollander and/or Rozanov have A Thing With A Man (of variably certain identity):
various dentists
hotel housekeeping staff
the kid who works late shifts at the drugstore where Ilya buys condoms (often) and lube (less often)
cleaners and laundry service employees
a kid on vacation with his parents in Vegas bored out of his mind because he's 14 and not allowed in the bars or casinos at their hotel and he's really hitting the grumpy teenager phase so he's pissed at his parents because he wanted to go birdwatching in the desert and instead he's on the hotel roof at night pointing his sick-ass binoculars (which he bought himself with money he earned by mowing their neighbours' lawns for a year) at the surrounding buildings and oh look there's two people making out on that rooftop terrace—wait, isn't that the guy from the Rolex ads?
Janice at the grocery store closest to the Hollander cottages who knows damn well that "David's boy" doesn't eat Nutella
the Voyageurs' nutritionist knows Hollander is fucking someone working for the Bears because he might not log it as sex but even Hollander doesn't actually do extra cardio after a game
employee at an airport phone repair kiosk in Chicago who was checking Ilya’s battery specs when "Jane" texted him "If I win you suck my dick first"
one of the parents at Game Changers Hockey Camp who is a couple's counsellor and a bit too good at her job
Gerry (78) three doors down from the Hollanders who has lived in his house since he was born and has made it his solemn duty to know everything that goes on in his neighbourhood
the owner of the bespoke jeweller's shop once Shane Hollander purchases the second ring, which is identical to the first, and a plain gold chain
the apprentice of the bespoke jeweller's shop a week before that when he recognises the ring he watched his boss make for Shane Hollander sitting on Ilya Rozanov's bare chest in a post-game interview on TV
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