Another time Shane and Ilya are babysitting the Pikelings, it's still early into the kids knowing Ilya. Ilya, against Shane's pleas not to, is wearing one of his old Raiders tees with 'ROZANOV 81' on the back, specifically to piss Hayden off before his date, but now that he's gotten his rise out of Hayden, they've both forgotten about the shirt. Shane and Ilya are now hard at work trying to get Amber to eat at least some of her dinner like Jackie asked them to (Amber is not on board with this plan). So they don't notice that Ruby and Jade have stopped their game.
"Oh you're Fucking Rozanov!"
Shane and Ilya freeze, blood draining from their faces. How the fuck does she know that about Shane and Ilya? How does she know what that means???
"Ruby, that's a swear!" says Arthur looking scandalized, and in Ruby's defence, she immediately claps her little hands over her mouth.
"Sorry, Shane, sorry, Shane! I didn't mean to! I'm just saying what Dad says sometimes."
Shane takes a steadying breath, trying not to panic.
"Okay, setting the swearing aside for a second," said Shane, doing a good job of staying calm and not passing out all things considered. "What exactly does your dad say when he says that?"
Ruby shakes her head, terrified, and Shane gives her a gentle smile.
"Look, how about I promise not to tell your mom and dad if you use it again to explain? I just want to understand."
"Well... sometimes when he's annoyed that you can't come over to play with him anymore he says 'fucking Rozanov.' Or when the Metros lose against Ottawa he also says it. Mom always makes him put extra dollars in the swear jar for being mean to his best friend's partner."
There's an audible sigh of relief from both grownups. Shane's trying to stay calm and in control but he feels himself wanting to laugh. Especially because out of the corner of his eye he can see Ilya fully giggling behind his hand.
"I see. Well, yes, my boyfriend's name is Ilya Rozanov. The one from Ottawa."
"So dad WAS being mean," says Jade, mouth hanging open.
"Nah," says Ilya, tamping down his laugh. "It is a kind of joking grownups do called 'irony'. He says it like he is being mean but he actually likes me."
"Grownups are confusing," says Ruby.
They wait until the kids are playing again before collapsing into giggles. It becomes an instant inside joke. They start muttering it under their breath to each other out of the kids' earshot anytime anything goes wrong, instantly dissolving into laughter again.
By the time Hayden and Jackie get home and get back downstairs from saying goodnight to the girls (who are allowed to stay up to say goodnight), Jackie gives them a curious look.
"The twins say you taught them... ironing?"
"Ah, no, irony," Ilya corrects. "It was fair exchange for teaching us about what Pike says when Shane has to cancel plans."
"Yeah, which reminds me Hayds – swear jar on Ruby's behalf twice, and make it triple for being mean about your best friends partner."
"Oh, Jesus Fucking Christ, Hayden," says Jackie, facepalming. "I told you those girls don't miss anything."
Ilya cuts Hayden off with a massive shit-eating grin.
"Uh-uh, don't make it another swear jar."
"Fucking Rozanov, am I right?" Shane laughs, and he and Ilya don't stop until they're at Shane's place.
