Nants ingonyama bagithi baba [Here comes a lion, Father] Sithi uhm ingonyama [Oh yes, it’s a lion] Nants ingonyama bagithi baba [Here comes a lion, Father] Sithi uhm ingonyama [Oh yes, it’s a lion] Ingonyama [It’s a lion] Siyo Nqoba [We’re going to conquer] Ingonyama Ingonyama nengw’ enamabala [A lion and a leopard come to this open place] (repeats) [queue English lyrics]

So I just told them to add the $20 something onto my bill, and I thought she was going to break down crying right there.

i know tumblr doesn’t give a SHIT when things happen in countries outside the “most popular ones” (such as the usa & england). it’s true, don’t lie to me. y’all don’t give A FUCK. not every issue and problem in said countries gets the appropriate exposure but in general shit shows up on the news WORLD FREAKING  WIDE. you set up donations, you help out, your spread the word, you say “pray for x”……

southern europe is burning. 

my country is burning.

people are dying - at home, on the road, trying to run away, in their cars.

yesterday my country had 300 active fires.

people are losing EVERYTHING they own.

i have a friend that is on a train right now passing through places that have been burnt to the ground and she says the smoke is so intense it’s getting inside the train and she can barely breathe.

and yet, even though several people (myself included) have been trying to bring awareness to what has been happening in southern europe… what we get from most of you, those not part of the countries suffering, is silence. we don’t ask for money, we don’t ask for shit other than a reblog to spread awareness… something you can delete in 24/48hrs if you wish. 

i don’t know what to tell you. i’m angry. i’m frustrated. i’m disappointed. i feel like i’m screaming into the void. “a reblog does nothing” - you know that’s a damn lie, you know exposure always helps, you know people start paying attention when posts on social media become popular. my country in particular is a small one, we get ZERO exposure. y’all are only starting to figure out we even fucking exist bc of the shit we’ve been winning lately. 

but hell, if the EU doesn’t give a shit, why should some user on tumblr dot com?

again, i don’t know what to tell you so i’ll let the images speak for themselves: 

An image captured by a Nasa satellite shows a thick plume of smoke blowing southward from the Greek island of Chios over the island of Crete

Torneros de Jamuz, Spain

Duca, Croatia

A helicopter from Italy’s civil protection service drops water on a fire near the railway between Venice and Trieste

Residents take refuge on the beach as a wildfire burns on the mountain next to the village of Lithi, on the Greek island of Chios

Men gather cattle during a forest fire in Vieira de Leiria, Marinha Grande, Portugal.

Charred trees are seen on the hills above the Cloister of Thivaidas on Mount Athos, a World Heritage Site in Greece

Portugal

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

“Yea, but did you see what she was wearing?”

“Boys will be boys!”

“She should know better than to drink at a party…”

  “He should’ve enjoyed it.”

“She must’ve lead him on.”

“But she orgasmed. That means she liked it - “

“Women can’t rape because…”

“Be grateful it wasn’t a man!”

“I’m sorry she hurt you but don’t call what happened to you rape, it’s an insult to the REAL victims…”

“You weren’t raped, you’re just lesbophobic.”

“She’s his wife, it’s her job to please him.”

“Oral isn’t rape.”

“Well he wasn’t armed, she could have walked away.”

“Guys can’t be raped, they love sex!”

“She didn’t fight back; it wasn’t rape.”

Passover: They enslaved us, God freed us. Remember this via a big ceremony/feast and then don’t eat bread for a week. This is a big one; you’re going to have to clean your house and host all your relatives.

Tu B'Shevat: It’s Earth Day, let’s eat some fruit.

Simchas Torah: We read the entire Torah every year, and we got to the end! Let’s have a dance party and then start all over again!

Tisha B'Av: They destroyed our temples. That sucked.

Rosh HaShanah: Happy New Year! It’s time to ask (and grant) forgiveness for the wrongs done in the past year, pledge to do better, and wish for a sweet new year. And go to synagogue for HOURS.

Yom Kippur: Rosh HaShanah’s somber counterpart. God decides on this day your fate for the next year. Repent your sins, hope for forgiveness, and fast. (And go to synagogue for HOURS.)

Yom HaShoah: Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Sukkot: Harvest festival! Sleep in a hut under the stars.

Shemini Atzeret: Man, I don’t even know?

Shavuot: God gave us the Torah! That was pretty nice of him.

having a nickname for me (not necessarily a mushy romantic one) 

using my name in conversation 

complimenting something I’m not super fond of about myself 

sending me pictures of stuff that reminds you of me 

listening to my music

recommending music to me

Cashier: ??!?! Thank you! You’re the nicest person ever!

New horizons. 

Started the month in a new rotation. Welcoming back my afternoons and leaving at semi-decent times in the evening has made me question where I want to take my career.

Do I want a mixture of interesting, demanding work? Yes.

Do I also want to have my evenings and weekends? Yes (for my mental and physical health. If anything, these past few weeks has shown me that). 

Can I work long hours? Yes. Am I willing to put in the hard yards? Without question.

But I guess the question is, what do I want to do this for?

There’s a structure to school, and to an extent uni. You’re always reaching for the next grade that will push you into the next year and then for the next exam to get the internship to get the job that will finally get you out of university.

You’re staying up till 4, 5am finishing things that you’ve admittedly left to the last minute (procrastination be damnned). 

But now? 

I guess I’m looking for an avenue to channel this… motivation? fear? ambition? 

It’s getting to the stage where it’s not enough to blindly reach for the next tier of the ladder, just because everyone else is, just because it’s the first thing that pops into mind. 

Because it’s getting to a point where one choice comes at the expense of another. More so than ever before.

Do I want to pursue further study? Sure. Do I want to do it if it comes at the expense of a house deposit and/ or job security? Not sure. 

Do I want to travel? Hell yes. Am I willing to travel if it means that I won’t come back to a job? No. Am I willing to stall home ownership (aka money) for a few years in order to have 6 months’ worth of gallivanting around the globe? Probs not. 

Do I want to live overseas for a period of time? Heck yes. Would I want to do it if it meant I wouldn’t get my job back and/ or risk my family/ getting a job/ relationships etc. Probs not. 

Do I want to work hard, work hours and have a job that actually challenges me? Yes. 

Do I want to sacrifice my weekends for it? Not really. Does that make me feel guilty? Yes. Because I’ve been brought up in a system where you give everything, you have to be willing to give everything for this gig. Otherwise you’re not working hard enough. 

Working 12 hour days “ain’t so bad, we’re lucky that it isn’t 15+ hours”. 

“You’re a lawyer, what the fuck did you expect?” 

It gets to a point when all those jokes about “suffering” in law school and in the profession and the memes and shit - it’s funny until you question whether or not you want this as your daily life.

And more importantly, if I’m going to be working long hours - what am I willing to do it for? 

If everything comes at a price, what do I want to pay? What do I want to receive at the end of this bargain? 

And add the layer of perpetual insecurity and imposter syndrome ontop of all of that. 

I don’t know.

I guess what I am trying to say is that whilst I somewhat am beginning to enjoy what I do, I guess I question the bigger things - the end game. 

It feels like all those ‘life choices’ that I’ve been putting on the backburner, these life choices I could easily avoid by saying “oh I’m still at law school” have suddenly reared their heads. 

And now I’ve got to make a decision. No matter how temporary, reversible whatever - a decision still has to be made. 

Angela Wang, Illustrations.

Absolutely stellar illustrations from Texas-based artist Angela Wang, also known as awanqi.