The Fiction Treehouse

I do consider Wolverine's interactions with Jean and Scott in the first X-Men movie to be sort of an inverse unicorn hunter scenario. sometimes the unicorn hunts you. aggressively.

the thing is. Logan finally makes one (1) pass at Scott that's so straightforward even Scott can't write it off as homoerotic bickering over Jean, and it sends him into a tailspin. he doesn't even answer he just leaves the room. gracelessly. listen it's 2001 and like, okay, obviously Professor X is gay, Scott knows that, he's fine with it but like. jesus christ. he has enough problems with the whole mutant thing; Scott Summers has not been exploring the lush garden of latent bisexuality. plus he's like SO coupled up with Jean so it doesn't even matter, right? it doesn't even matter and he never had to think about this again, except he does and he's dating a telepath (FUCK) and she Knows something is up and he can't brush it off forever so he tries (fails) to casually bring it up. haha hey Jean you know I always thought Logan had a bit of a crush on you, but I think he tried coming onto me the other day, can you believe it? ("I think he tried coming onto me" here means "he offered to suck my dick with all the subtlety you'd expect from a man who's very popular in truck stop bathrooms," btw.) and Jean Grey, the Dark Phujoshi herself, cannot hide that this is huge for her. this solves so many of her problems. she's salivating and Scott can see it and she's realizing too late oh no Scott was Not into it like that, abort mission hard. except he saw how excited she was for a split second before she got a lid on it, so he knows, and she knows he knows, and he know she knows he knows. and now Scott can't Stop thinking about it, and the more he tries to not think about it the more he does, vicious cycle, and he keeps having these dreams about. well. what if. what if I did let him suck me off a little. which Jean knows about, obviously, because she's a telepath (FUCK). so she knows. and he knows she knows. and she must know that he knows she knows. but neither of them are saying anything about it, just sweating it out while Logan continues to slut around the school in a white tank top pretending he's not playing six dimensional mind game chess to land the plane on this threesome.

Let the historical record show that Mr. Beast was entirely ignorable if you were just like doing literally anything else. I've been on youtube as long as it's been around and I've never been recommended a video by him. I see him in passing as a meme. I thought he was a made up joke, a caricature of bad youtuber content miners until someone I trust confirmed his existence to me in late 2025.

being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

with faith and perseverance, one day we will sauté the horrors

does anyone know how to get what you want when you're the type of person who avoids everything

WOW! It's so pretty! Amazing job!

HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS

okay even assuming your unborn child can hear you fucking. it's like having sex in front of your stuffed animals or your dog, dude. they have absolutely no understand of what is going on. they don't give a shit. at no point is any person who has ever or will ever be born going to go "oooooh man I think hearing my parents fuck while I was in utero really fucked me up actually" that's not how anything works. they're too busy going "mmm yummy amniotic fluid" they do not know or care that sex is happening

why don’t more people use decorative light switch covers? outlets and light switches are so aesthetically unappealing and there are so many ways to make them cooler but I never see anyone use them. there was a baseball themed light switch cover at my ex’s house from a former tenant’s child’s room but that’s it. it’s not like they’re costly, you can just take them off and paint them or put a sticker on them. it’s such a easy way to add a little art to a room without having to worry about finding a frame or a stud and it spruces up something mundane.

I, a hearing person who likes subtitles just as a preference, shouldn't have to read a subtitle that's obvious nonsense, go back a couple seconds, and listen again in order to figure out what's going on. An accessibility feature should not be the most half-assed part of a professionally made production. Scripted media has absolutely no excuse for not having subtitles or having subtitles that aren't perfectly verbatim. Professional captioning services should be ashamed of the shoddy work that they put out. Captions should be treated as a part of the production, just like filming, editing, audio balancing, etc - and anything that releases with missing or bad captions should be seen as unfinished

my two brain cells

This is what executive dysfunction looks like

Inside you there are two hamsters…

oh hey I have a thing like that last one that I like to do sometimes, but I do it lying down in bed. it's a very satisfying pop/shift in my hips/lower back, but doesn't always work. maybe I will try his version and see if it is more effective for me