I don’t freak unless froken to, thanks

youre monogamous? oh… it’s ethical, right? ethical monogamy? okay good for you! i mean pretty much every monogamous couple i’ve met didn’t work out but maybe you guys will beat the odds! haha. so is it a sex thing? you guys have sex with- just each other? huh. how does that work? i could never do monogamy, i’m too jealous, i’d worry my partner would leave me for someone else instead of dating us both… how do you deal with the jealousy? is it hard? like, how hard? extremely? do you think you’ll break up? i mean in the long run these things rarely work out,

haha don't worry it's fine i can say it because i'm racist

If Ratatouille mechanics were real, there would be a whole market of businesses offering the services of operating rats to people who want them, and it'd be like how bees produce honey. People in the rat business would be so exhausted of having to explain over and over again that no, the rats aren't being exploited. If the rats didn't like how they're being treated, they would simply not return. There's no goddamn way to force a rat to be so passionate about playing the saxophone that they'll figure out how to puppeteer a human to do it for them. All that the business does is finding a way to put that specific rat in the hair of someone who's about to go on stage.

The rats 100% think the businesses are being run for their benefit and worry about the humans being exploited.

A rat manager who is a rat and deals on their end of the deal is exhausted of having to explain over and over again that look, an average fully grown adult human being is like 200 times your weight, their hands are very fast and they can throw things better than you want to imagine. If one of them things didn't want you in their hair, you're not going to stay there for long. You'd be yote out the window in two seconds flat.

There should be the opposite of harassment campaigns where people go "this person seems kind of sad, we should send them a bunch of nice messages and money and fun pictures of animals anonymously until they feel better"

i play a game with my friends called "talk nice behind their back" where if everyone who is present knows a particular person who is not present, i'll say "it's time for talk nice behind their back!" and then make everyone say nice stuff about the absent friend. i think if "talk nice behind their back" became a thing then more people would organize "uplifting campaigns"

That's so beautiful. We should all be doing this

Is it socially acceptable to use opaque watercolors, or is that considered gouache?

the dance dance rebellion has failed to become a dance dance revolution and the dance dance repressive regime has kidnapped your fellow dance dance radicals in the middle of the night and taken them to a dance dance re-education camp. they're gonna get dance dance relentlessly tortured

there is as many languages as atoms in the universe (more than 2)

vampire who’s married to an archaeologist voice: my love, stop trying to carbon date me

*at the museum* my love, why is my cursed amulet in this display case

*dropping a garlic-free lasagne on the counter top* my love, we’ve talked about inviting archaeometrists to our dinner parties

doctors hate her! This woman is experiencing symptoms that might point to a health problem and wants doctors to do something about it

the point of fanfiction is to write something so self indulgent that nobody else has thought of it before or cares

Thank you divorce for all you've done for music