Do you think hux might subconsciously enjoy the company and feel safer around women due to all his abusers being men and the person who offered him safety being a woman?
So the thing about this headcanon is that I do see why it's so popular...but I think it relies on a generous interpretation of exactly how much "safety" Hux ever had. Yes, the closest things he has to "positive" relationships are with Sloane and Phasma, but both of these relationships are explicitly transactional and Hux is aware of this. It's nice to think of Sloane as his mother figure and Phasma as his bestie-slash-sister-figure, but canonically speaking, they're coworkers Hux has an agreement with. They're allies, not family.
Additionally, I believe that absence of evidence isn't necessarily evidence of absence.
The First Order is quite gender-balanced. We see plenty of women in the ranks, at all levels of the chain of command. Stormtroopers, junior officers, supreme council members, and more importantly, there's nothing on-screen to indicate that this is unusual. The First Order's uniform is unisex, none of the characters ever draw attention to gender as something that matters in the First Order culturally speaking, there's just...no actual evidence of the First Order being a society that observes gender as something important.
Even Brendol Hux himself, as far as I know, never actually expresses any overtly gendered sentiments. His personality definitely aligns with a type of man that tends to be misogynistic and homophobic in real life, but in-universe, it seems like his issue with Armitage is less that "he's weak, and a man should be strong," and more that "he's weak, and a soldier should be strong." His behavior towards Phasma especially suggests to me that he prizes his idea of strength as a gender-neutral trait.
Basically every headcanon on the First Order caring about gender comes from comparing them to real-life political entities and ignoring whether there's any canon evidence for that comparison. Brendol's personality aligns with real-life misogynists, so he must diegetically be a misogynist; the First Order as a country has some parallels with Nazi Germany, which was (among other things) extremely patriarchal, so the First Order must be diegetically patriarchal; but in my opinion, what's actually on-screen and on-page strongly suggests that the First Order is a largely non-gendered society.
So with all that in mind, I don't think it makes sense for Hux, who was raised in the First Order, to view the abuse he's suffered as a gendered ordeal. He hasn't had any genuinely positive experiences with anybody of any gender, and we don't know that he hasn't had any negative experiences with women (although I concede that we don't know that he has, either).
...I do think Hux would have some serious ageist biases, though. Especially with the generational divide in the Order; he's less likely to view Brendol & Co.'s behavior as a matter of masculinity and more likely to see it as a matter of age. He definitely pre-judges older people a lot more harshly than younger people, whether or not they've actually done anything to deserve it.
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