No Eyed Girl

odysseus tying himself to the mast but he's doing some proto shibari type shit to make his tits look really good and his crew isn't saying anything but it's kind of hard not to notice

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

Someone tell the kids the hot new trend is speed running the hospital Mitch McConnell is in to get proof of life. If they got that far into the scientology buildings just imagine what they could do

Look, I realize that the whole Schrodinger's Mitch thing has real political consequences on a national level, but since I'm not from Kentucky and have no say whatsoever in the outcome of the situation, I'm honestly just finding the entire thing grimly hilarious. Has Horrible Turtle Man died? We don't fucking know! Turns out senators can just not show up to work indefinitely and there are no consequences! What fun!

people foolishly dismiss desserts and treats as having no nutritional value when they actually are necessary for refilling your sanity stat. to prove my point please observe the emotional stability of the next person you meet who doesnt let themselves ever eat any form of dessert

oh hey sorry I’ve been distant lately…. I’ve been really busy having a brain that is bad

Mitch McConnell will die two weeks from today (8/31/23)

there is no need to charge or cast i just be Knowing

swifties always going on the "you just hate women" defense like first of all Taylor Swift is not a woman she's an unskippable ad

do i want to come to "the circus"? (apprehensive) describe it with two adjectives first

do i want to come to "the circus"? (apprehensive) describe it with two adjectives first

the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.