doudle beesechurger

Woke: You are invited to join me on the

that's genius... xi jinping was right

I, as a trans man, am still wary of cis men I don't know. I am still very aware that a lot of peri-cis white men have not only priviledge, but power over others, including me.

I am also aware that I don't feel safe around people who recite things like "Kill all men" or are self proclaimed misanderists. And this mindset can lead to dangerous ideals of bio-essentialism and even gender-essentialism that labels any man evil, any woman pure, and treats trans men as traitors.

And a lot of these takes lump all men in together when intersex, disabled, trans and men of colour, etc, do not inherintly carry all the same privilege as the white, able bodied, peri-cis man you all default to. In fact they are all oppressed in their own ways. (Money, education and upbringing can also play a part in this)

No one is saying that you can't or shouldn't be wary of men in general, or you can't of had bad experiences with them. But acting as if it is the default of all men does not help anyone but excuse it as something all men do and not an active choice some men make. And something our society does not correctly punish or call out.

The problem is the patriarchy, not a random disabled trans man implying that maybe he understands what oppression feels like.

And that's not bad! It's true for a lot of people! You CAN go back later! You can apply to university, you can get your GED, you can pursue whatever level of education you want. It's not bad to share that message. If you dropped out and want to go back eventually, there is zero timeline. You can go back at any age, with any life experience. You do not have to graduate by a specific age.

But as someone who dropped out of college over a decade ago, sometimes "you can always go back!" starts to feel a little like an empty platitude. Sometimes it starts to feel grating instead of hopeful. Even when it might technically be true, sometimes it still feels like a hollow sentiment.

I just want to say, to anyone else out there who feels that way, who dropped out and CAN'T go back, potentially EVER, whether it's due to poverty or disability or any other reason:

It's okay to drop out and never go back. It might feel shitty, and you may even feel grief over it. That's real, and painful, and allowed. But you are not lesser. Even if you never go back, you are not a failure or a loser. Academics do not define your worth. You are not stupid. And it is almost certain that the system actually failed YOU.

With love,

I personally still deal with a lot of grief about how my university career ended, but that's just one experience. I know other people with zero regrets, who talk openly about the ways that dropping out literally saved their lives. Life throws nasty curveballs sometimes.