im actually cleft in twain right now can i call you back
DEAR READER


blake kathryn
Cosmic Funnies
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"


JVL

@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin
Stranger Things
Today's Document
Xuebing Du

oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins
KIROKAZE
dirt enthusiast
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Product Placement

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@ashanis-esoteric-posts
im actually cleft in twain right now can i call you back

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awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?
i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users
would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.
that’s not the whole flag, now is it
hey staff what the fuck
hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose
HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE
Happy Pride
do not ride on
happy pride month

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they're girlfriends,,,
happy pride month i love you 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🌈🦋✨
i laid my head in her lap and she started rubbing and scratching it in gentle rhythmic circles and within minutes i was on the verge of falling asleep. i groggily looked up and said “this feels so nice, i almost fell asleep” and she looked down and said “i did a bunch of research into scalp stimulation and found the most comforting speeds, forces, and patterns, and then i practiced on different girls until i had dialed in an effective technique”
t4t because you just dont get this sort of autistically optimized treatment from cis girls
lets climb on mama
Collecting kitty orbs increases your meow score

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I should be doing more to appreciate the lack of marvel movies in today's popular culture. I once yearned for marvel movies to have this level of irrelevance. They used to feel almost ozymandian, like an empire that had no beginning and no end. and now tony stark iron man is naught but two vast and trunkless legs of stone.
don't cry okay? huge as fuck bowl of strawberry
Don't cry okay? Huge as fuck container of blueberry
don't cry okay? huge as fuck bag of blackberry
if i had a quantity of raspberries this large i would end up on the news
there are wild maids nesting around my manor's chimney, waking me up at night with their calls and making tidy. I know they're endangered species but how do I make them leave? I already sent some hands to the rooftops but none yet returned...
Classic maid infestation.
What you need to do at this point depends on how deeply imprinted onto you they are. If it's not too late, you need to stop saying "hmph" and drinking Dr Pepper, and you absolutely cannot wear a crown or tiara of any sort. You have to act generally passive and display no desires of any kind nor any moment of weakness or need. Within a week or two they will see there is no princess to serve and leave of their own accord
It is possible that, if they are young and small, if you dress up in a maid uniform with a BIG as FUCK bow on the back they will recognize there is already a maid claiming this territory and fuck off. This carries tremendous risk because alternatively they might initiate a courtship ritual with you and you'll have to prove you are a competent head maid or they will tear you to pieces and eat you. If you succeed you could get married to a cute coven of maids which doesn't solve your problem but is pretty awesome, you'll have to be a maid for the rest of your life though
If you found that your tax returns have been handled for you already though, or you dare eat a meal you don't remember cooking, ordering, or buying in your home, it's too late. You're a colony host now and you are the princess
save me, rice mixed with some bullshit
Pokemon the anime Was just an extended horse movie metaphor
If you replace pikachu with an unruly yet loving horse nothing changes
“Well, I do have one left, the most unruly pokemon in my possession. He knows no master and can only kick things.”
And ash is just a horse girl with bad hair so he trains the horse even though it did rupture his spleen multiple times with its beautiful legs
“Get me that pikachu with the beautiful legs, I need him for the Big Race.”
james voice: Yee haw pardner
Pokemon Heritage Post

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you know what you shouldnt do? constantly tell your child how expensive they are to take care of. because eventually, that child gets scared of asking for money, and doesnt feed themself at school, doesnt go places with their friends that require money, because she doesnt want to be expensive. it really does get into their minds, that theyre too much money and that they shouldnt do anything.
Western jackdaw removing bugs from a sheep. ©
These animals look like (me and) my wife!