Raven MacDuff

(this came out of a conversation in the comments on a previous post about an author threatening to stop updating a fic because of lack of engagement)

So there’s this idea that fic writers should write for themselves and not care too much about stats or engagement,

and i totally get the sentiment behind that. if writing becomes entirely about stats and external validation, something important does get lost - creative freedom and joy, conviction in your own writing

but i also think:

“i write for myself, but i post for others.”

because posting fic is not only self-expression. it’s social. ao3 is called an archive, but emotionally it often functions as a community space.

people post for connection, for participation, for others to bear witness to their pain and trauma and grief,

and i don’t think most people are asking to be admired so much as acknowledged. there’s something deeply human about wanting another person to encounter something that mattered to you and go:

“ok, yeah, I see what you were trying to say. I see you.”

especially because fanfic is often people processing very real feelings through fictional characters at a safe distance, one step removed,

and then uploading that deeply personal thing into a shared archive and hoping somebody else might connect with it.

And i think that’s why it hurts so much when you summon up the courage and post a fic into the void and you get nothing back,

and then it’s like,

And, frankly, even if you hate and detest me for whatever reason and have done or tried to do things to hurt or even kill me, there's still a thousand reasons i'd rather learn you stopped because of than your death, disappearance, or having moved on to a new target. I'm not under any illusions that it will ever happen with any kind of frequency since it requires a willingness and capacity for introspection, critical thinking, humanization, and kindness that most of you have carved out of yourselves by this point, but I sincerely hope at least some of you come to realize of depths of the pointless misery your actions have helped to spread. Fix your hearts. No "or die". Just fix them, please, or at least do one thing for me, if nothing else, and reflect on how miserable of a person you've become as you hit send on that hateful message you're about to drop in my ask box, alright?