This is an escape

past tense of william shakespeare? william shookspeare

Wouldiwas Shookspeared

delete this

look at the republican calendar and see which animal/plant/item is associated with your birthday ok. if you're born january 14 you get the day of the cat

solidarity for everyone who was born on the day of the cistern or the watering can or something like that

Me when a character I like dies in the characters are gonna die show: how could this happen.... darn it.... I didnt see this coming

please wear sunscreen!!! I've seen "fuck the beauty industrial complex" posts about complicated skincare regimens and am 100% with them except sometimes they mention sunscreen and no. no. absolutely not. sunscreen is a wonderful supportive friend who wants to keep you safe, and you should let her do it. throw out all your other cosmetics and skincare products if you want, but keep your sunscreen. and if you're not wearing sunscreen, start wearing it!!!! this is not about terror of aging, this is not about every tiny imperfection our fucked-up culture has made you feel insecure about, this is about protecting yourself from skin cancer. wear the damn sunscreen.

Trolling my biologist D&D player by sending the party on a quest to prevent the destruction of a mystical seal, and when they finally get there it quickly becomes clear that I'm actually describing a walrus.

Do you have anything with that kind of texture that he can safely play with? This sounds like an understimulation issue.

Not guilty by reason of deficiency of other people’s stuff

Narratively speaking, ending this saga with the reveal that his name is Orange Sherbert was a masterstroke.

the student said, "i'm reading a zen buddhist cookbook. with no recipes." and the teacher replied, "ah, dogen's instructions for the cook, written in 1237?" "yeah," said the student, "it's saying not to let rats fall into the rice pot"

also according to michael collins when the three of them were discussing what neil armstrong should say when he first stepped on the moon, collins suggested armstrong say “Oh, my God, what is that thing?”  and then scream and cut out his mic.

Everyone forgets Michael Collins and it’s fucking tragic.

Cannot stress how much this entices me

Green heron (Butorides virescens)

jon desperately trying to figure out what happened to gertrude robinson and her assistants and what's up with the institute thinking "oh my god. i have become lyfrassir edda"