Sad Babe University

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m

this post is like five posts per post

on a similar note, working an office job has me thinking a lot abt the weird dissonance between the projected disembodied identity of the Professional and the reality of a person as like. an oozing sweating animal. like you think abt it enough and the whole building starts to feel like a lot of dogs wearing collared shirts

The earliest recorded cat name (from 1500BC Egypt) was "Nedjem" which means "sweetie"❤️

🥺

The more things change, the more they stay the same

you ever read one of your old fics and think "damn past self. you went hard on that one. i'm so proud of you." while simultaneously thinking "future self got to get their shit together and actually write something, i mean come on now."

learn to associate cleaning with pride instead of shame and your quality of life will improve in ways you can't even imagine btw

like I'm sympathetic, it's hard work, it takes some degree of mental organisation and physical capacity that is not equally accessible to every human being on earth. I know. but regardless of how much you can do and how often, you will get better results across the board if you can frame it as positive effort towards a better situation instead of perpetually self flagellating for having the sin of being a solid thing in physical space that steadily accumulates dirt no matter what just like everything else on earth

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

I'm being dragged in the group chat bc I accidentally wore two different pairs of shoes to the theater. I wasn't even in a hurry, I have no fucking excuse for not noticing this

I totally forgot about this oh my god

rb if u hates terfs

Official ‘terfs get out of my house’ Post

Luke Skywalker put away his targeting computer to destroy the Death Star so I don't need AI to help me write an email.

It's awesome how having a headache can just turn you evil. Head hurts and now I wish every good thing in the world would explode