I am the Elysium!
… or at least the one who “hosts” the whole thing…
But!
I can still answer many of your questions about the place!
You can call me..
hmmm
I just suppose Elysium will do!

EXPECTATIONS
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
untitled
𓃗
we're not kids anymore.
h

Fai_Ryy

shark vs the universe
tumblr dot com

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Today's Document

Discoholic 🪩
almost home
Monterey Bay Aquarium
noise dept.
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@the-elysium-offical
I am the Elysium!
… or at least the one who “hosts” the whole thing…
But!
I can still answer many of your questions about the place!
You can call me..
hmmm
I just suppose Elysium will do!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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[He realizes something.] [He stuck his hand through earlier.] [He takes off his hat.] [He looks around.] [He finds it.]
@detective-offical
HA!
Think ya’ stand a chance buddy?
Well, I’m not just any detective.
(He draws the sword once more.)
{they draw their sword as well}
Yeah yeah you’re a deer or whatever
The names Doe. John Doe.
[He runs over to the projector, stabbing his sword into it.] And I’m the best in my field.
{he simply disappears} {an elevator button lies where he once was}
[He puts back on his coat and hat.] [Doe takes the button and goes to the next floor.]
{you are already at the top, the button id for the basement}
[He goes to the basement]
{you find yourself in a factory, there is a staircase that leads down to a circular arena in the middle}
[He bandages himself up, and goes into the arena]
{the moment you step In it grabs you by the leg and throws you into the lava}
[He breaks the mask and crawls out.]
{they take out a warhammer} {they have switched stance to tadasana they and now prepared to make counterattacks}
[He mimics the offense and defense modes while staying a good distance away]
{you are unable to mimic them}
{they throw a few red hot knives at you}
[He ducks and grabs one by the handle]
{they dash forward and slam the warhammer into you}
[He takes a second to catch his breath.] [He stabs experiment with the knife as men of chalk rise from the ground]
{ it has little effect}
{they jump up and throw the hammer at the arena lowering it into the lava for a second#}
[He runs and grabs it]
{the platform includes you, you were in the lava}
[He lifts up his coat and jumps onto a part of the warhammer]
{the platform raises back up, they seem to summon a pillar out of nowhere and slam it into you}
[He quickly gets out of the way.]
{it’s too large to avoid}
[He hides behind the warhammer and all the chalk men.]
{they break the huge stone pillair in two and hit one half with the warhammer sending shrapnel everywhere and kick the other her sending it at undogable speeds at you}
[He falls to the floor becoming a chalk outline.] [He comes back up afterwards]
{it goes supernova, the entire arena is covered in a huge explosion of fire heat and light}
[He goes into chalk form]
{the chalk outline is vaporized}
[He comes back up on his knees, gasping for air.]
{it slams the warhammer into you}
[He quickly pulls out a shield.] [Looks quite like one Syral made but different.] [As it breaks, instead of forgetting, you feel more human as memories of Salem flood you. You now believe you are Salem and act like him.]
…how ya feeling?
great actually
YOU CAN TALK?!
yeah?
…Why were you attacking me?!
wait what
…never mind, ya wanna help me out?
{they seem to bluescreen}
[He taps them a bit]
{they grab you and try to tear your arm off}
AH!
[He starts flailing, before hitting you once again with one of the shields, breaking it again]
hey-
{they go back to attempting to tear you limb from limb}
AH!
NO!
STOP!
[A snake lunges at you from under his hat.]
[He’s confused where it came from.]
{they throw detective into the stairs before throwing the snake into the lava}
[He’s thrown into the chalk realm.] [He looks for Sans]
(the WHAT?????)
[The 2D realm] [Where he’s a chalk outline]
(huh!?)
(how does that work???)
(Can he just walk past the fights?)
[Even a bit of water can force him out]
{they go supernova} {the same thing as before happens}
[He crawls out gasping for air] [He looks for Sans]
{there’s a locked door that 24730 seems to be guarding}
[He tries breaking it down]
{all time except for you seems to stop}
Hello!
…h-hello..?
good luck
[He realizes something.] [He stuck his hand through earlier.] [He takes off his hat.] [He looks around.] [He finds it.]
@detective-offical
HA!
Think ya’ stand a chance buddy?
Well, I’m not just any detective.
(He draws the sword once more.)
{they draw their sword as well}
Yeah yeah you’re a deer or whatever
The names Doe. John Doe.
[He runs over to the projector, stabbing his sword into it.] And I’m the best in my field.
{he simply disappears} {an elevator button lies where he once was}
[He puts back on his coat and hat.] [Doe takes the button and goes to the next floor.]
{you are already at the top, the button id for the basement}
[He goes to the basement]
{you find yourself in a factory, there is a staircase that leads down to a circular arena in the middle}
[He bandages himself up, and goes into the arena]
{the moment you step In it grabs you by the leg and throws you into the lava}
[He breaks the mask and crawls out.]
{they take out a warhammer} {they have switched stance to tadasana they and now prepared to make counterattacks}
[He mimics the offense and defense modes while staying a good distance away]
{you are unable to mimic them}
{they throw a few red hot knives at you}
[He ducks and grabs one by the handle]
{they dash forward and slam the warhammer into you}
[He takes a second to catch his breath.] [He stabs experiment with the knife as men of chalk rise from the ground]
{ it has little effect}
{they jump up and throw the hammer at the arena lowering it into the lava for a second#}
[He runs and grabs it]
{the platform includes you, you were in the lava}
[He lifts up his coat and jumps onto a part of the warhammer]
{the platform raises back up, they seem to summon a pillar out of nowhere and slam it into you}
[He quickly gets out of the way.]
{it’s too large to avoid}
[He hides behind the warhammer and all the chalk men.]
{they break the huge stone pillair in two and hit one half with the warhammer sending shrapnel everywhere and kick the other her sending it at undogable speeds at you}
[He falls to the floor becoming a chalk outline.] [He comes back up afterwards]
{it goes supernova, the entire arena is covered in a huge explosion of fire heat and light}
[He goes into chalk form]
{the chalk outline is vaporized}
[He comes back up on his knees, gasping for air.]
{it slams the warhammer into you}
[He quickly pulls out a shield.] [Looks quite like one Syral made but different.] [As it breaks, instead of forgetting, you feel more human as memories of Salem flood you. You now believe you are Salem and act like him.]
…how ya feeling?
great actually
YOU CAN TALK?!
yeah?
…Why were you attacking me?!
wait what
…never mind, ya wanna help me out?
{they seem to bluescreen}
[He taps them a bit]
{they grab you and try to tear your arm off}
AH!
[He starts flailing, before hitting you once again with one of the shields, breaking it again]
hey-
{they go back to attempting to tear you limb from limb}
AH!
NO!
STOP!
[A snake lunges at you from under his hat.]
[He’s confused where it came from.]
{they throw detective into the stairs before throwing the snake into the lava}
[He’s thrown into the chalk realm.] [He looks for Sans]
(the WHAT?????)
[The 2D realm] [Where he’s a chalk outline]
(huh!?)
(how does that work???)
(Can he just walk past the fights?)
[Even a bit of water can force him out]
{they go supernova} {the same thing as before happens}
[He crawls out gasping for air] [He looks for Sans]
{there’s a locked door that 24730 seems to be guarding}
[He tries breaking it down]
{all time except for you seems to stop}
Hello!
Hellooooooo?
Are you still here???
《but nobody came》
I said stop conch boy:|
N P
O E
I M going to CONSUME! you ocs now!
Yay…
I’ll just not let you:p
it’s no fun if you just do
You d I d this to yourself :D
You knew {im so sorry} was important to me!
Now you pay the price!
Good luck fixing me! :)
I think I’m just gunna take a break from tumblr for a while
Bye
not a joke
I’m staying away from you
se ya later
Hellooooooo?
Are you still here???
《but nobody came》
I said stop conch boy:|
N P
O E
I M going to CONSUME! you ocs now!
Yay…
I’ll just not let you:p
it’s no fun if you just do

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Hellooooooo?
Are you still here???
《but nobody came》
I said stop conch boy:|
@the-elysium-offical
There is a Crack as the ice sculpture of sans cracks from unseen force, he is hurt but not dead
Not even sans' normally indestructible head is spared from the cracks as if this was damage to his verry being
((Sans literally poured part of himself into the crown, now he suffers the consequences of doing so))
Hm, im curious, do I have a file in the network?
Im curious what your "foundation" has learned of me.
From a preliminary search of the database, I wasn't able to find anything relating to a "Sans the Skeleconch". This means you either weren't considered enough of a threat to document or they don't know about you yet. I'm leaning towards the latter, since they usually document everything. I would be honored to begin building a file on you, if you'd be willing to have an interview with me.
...
They dont know about me!?
I am most definitely a "threat" as my pranks are magic and/or anomalous. (Not including my other abilities)
Well, congratulations! You have discovered a new anomaly!
As for an interview, yes, I like being asked questions!
Well then, I suppose I should start by asking: what are you? What are your abilities? have you always had them, and if not, how did you gain them?
So I can establish a baseline threat level, can you give me a few examples of your "pranks", as well as tell me why you do them?
Currently I am a unique idea given form. I am a concept rather than just a anomalous being.
I was always a conch but my jester powers specifically came from joining a court of an eldritch entity as a jester.
My ability are vast as I can alter reality to an extent and have magic. I wish I could be more specific but even I dont know what I can do fully. I tend to learn and pick up skills and abilitys as I see others use them. Also atacks only work once unless its toon logic based, as I learn from my mistakes.
As for my tipical pranks? I tend to change people funny colors, turn them into objects or animals, and most recently I covered evry surface in a large campground in rainbow glitter!
As for why I do my pranks?
...
I grow in power with attention and memories, the more memories people have of me the better weather it's short-term or long-term memory doesn't matter.
The pranks make people remember me. I need people to remember me to live.
Fascinating. So, for example, I could shoot you in the face, and that would only work once, but what would happen if I dropped an anvil on you? Would that be something you could learn to avoid?
You say you live through memory. I have heard of a few entities like this, so it's possible you could be classified along with them, although most are major deities. The fact that you don't know the extent of your abilities turns that into a major gray area, especially since you received them from an eldritch entity, many of which are classified as threat level keter.
You can shoot me in the face but that would just bounce off, I haven't found anything that can actually break or even chip my head so far.
As for the anvil? It would stun me but do no permanent harm, my head cant be broken.
Despite my powers I am not a god, I am bound to a physical body.
As for why I dont know my own abilities is that I am constantly learning new tricks, anything I see I have been able to do along with I can train new abilities. There has been nothing I can't learn...
...
Yeah, my boss is... interesting to say the least. They are harmless thogh, the most they have ever asked for is magic pepper spray.
Does your invulnerability extend to the rest of your body, or is it just your head?
The lack of a cap on what abilities you can learn is concerning, even if you aren't malicious. I think you could be ranked in mid to high Euclid just for that. Let's say, hypothetically, the Foundation deemed it necessary to bring you in for containment. How would you feel about that? (Please note: I haven't yet informed my superiors of your existence. You are completely safe for now, and even if brought in, if cooperative, you will be treated with the utmost respect)
Just my head sadly, the rest of my body can be damaged.
As for containing me, I wouldn't be mad but it would just me playing along, there is very little that can actually contain me, and no I am not telling you what can keep me from escaping... also keeping me in one place is not a good idea, I tend to warp any area I sleep in.
I somehow even turned my room into a personal pocket dimension by sleeping there too many times.
And yes I have access to that dimension at all times.
I would be surprised if they find a way to keep me in a box.
A personal pocket dimension...
*a chill runs down my spine as I think about the implications. this anomaly could turn out to be a keter level threat, even if it isn't malevolent. i do my best to hide the fear in my voice*
You most certainly are powerful...
*I seem to be at a loss for words*
We managed to contain him!!!!’
HELLO there , Elysium !
I am Malachi , the BEST and BRIGHTEST radio host !
If you're INTERESTED I'd LOVE to interview you !
Whaddya say ?
@your-favorite-radio-host-offical
Hello!
you are sparkly
or is it colorful?
what are you?
Well , ain't you SWEET !
I wouldn't say I'm TOO sparkly , but I AM very COLORFUL !
I am a RADIO HOST ! And HOPEFULLY , I'll become your FAVORITE radio host ! Hahaha !
What is a “Radio host”?
Well !
A radio HOST is someone who BROADCASTS their voice across the world to things like a RADIO or a PHONE !
Usually to SPEAK about different TOPICS or an INTERVIEW !
That is interesting.
Sure!
HELLO there , Elysium !
I am Malachi , the BEST and BRIGHTEST radio host !
If you're INTERESTED I'd LOVE to interview you !
Whaddya say ?
@your-favorite-radio-host-offical
Hello!
you are sparkly
or is it colorful?
what are you?
Well , ain't you SWEET !
I wouldn't say I'm TOO sparkly , but I AM very COLORFUL !
I am a RADIO HOST ! And HOPEFULLY , I'll become your FAVORITE radio host ! Hahaha !
What is a “Radio host”?

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HELLO there , Elysium !
I am Malachi , the BEST and BRIGHTEST radio host !
If you're INTERESTED I'd LOVE to interview you !
Whaddya say ?
@your-favorite-radio-host-offical
Hello!
you are sparkly
or is it colorful?
what are you?
Eyyyy!
Wassup!
@eviler-sans-the-skeleconch
@ham-sandwich-consumer-offical IT HAPPED AGAIN!
Gods dam it, there is another.
Youse ain’t gettin’ rid of me too soon bitches! im here to stay!
Wooooo!!
@the-elysium-offical you can have this one if you want.
I dont want this one, the others are tolerable, this one is not.
we don’t want him either
is mean:(
Eyyyy!
Wassup!
@eviler-sans-the-skeleconch
@ham-sandwich-consumer-offical IT HAPPED AGAIN!
Gods dam it, there is another.
Youse ain’t gettin’ rid of me too soon bitches! im here to stay!
Wooooo!!
@the-elysium-offical you can have this one if you want.
Considering how long I've been in ice now, I should really come up with more ice related pranks.
Snowballs sound fun.
Shame I cant prank people since-
I AM STILL AN ICE STATUE!
we did that!!!!
*boop (touch)*
:3

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Wait, people need to do this thing called “eating”?
@sans-the-skeleconch-offical
@copyright-offical
@evil-ham-sandwich-consumer
@maid-sans-the-skeleconch-offical
Y-yes would you like some food to try it
*it is clear she HATES that she has to help you*
Okay!
Thank you!
*she is grabs an apple and throws it in the ground*
*you are given a dirty apple*
{they kinda just hold it}
Huh.
Eat it
Swallow
*she seems to be skipping the chew step*
okay!
{it melts into their hand}
NO YOU F-
I mean master you must put it though your mouth and have it go down your throat
What are those things?
I JUST F-
Here
MASTER
*she gets another apple dirtys it and shoves it down there throat*
{the moment it contacts their skin it melts into their body}
This is interesting!
YOU MOTHERF-
A maid shall not curse
A maid shall always be calm
*she is very angry*
*she’s wants you to die in every way possible but isn’t allowed to say lol*
{they summon a book and read through for a few seconds before closing it}
uhmmm
Here!
{a cup of tea appears in your hands}
We believe this is supposed to help people calm down
….
I’m fine
you take it
*you can tell they are lying*
no no we insist!
You have
I insist
{the cup of tea disappears}
they seem to not like tea {it writes something down}
So!
what do people do to calm down
I don’t I’m never not calm I apologize if I came off that way
*they are again lying*
Some people read or watch tv
{they hand you the book they looked through earlier}
Here!
Wait, people need to do this thing called “eating”?
@sans-the-skeleconch-offical
@copyright-offical
@evil-ham-sandwich-consumer
@maid-sans-the-skeleconch-offical
Y-yes would you like some food to try it
*it is clear she HATES that she has to help you*
Okay!
Thank you!
*she is grabs an apple and throws it in the ground*
*you are given a dirty apple*
{they kinda just hold it}
Huh.
Eat it
Swallow
*she seems to be skipping the chew step*
okay!
{it melts into their hand}
NO YOU F-
I mean master you must put it though your mouth and have it go down your throat
What are those things?
I JUST F-
Here
MASTER
*she gets another apple dirtys it and shoves it down there throat*
{the moment it contacts their skin it melts into their body}
This is interesting!
YOU MOTHERF-
A maid shall not curse
A maid shall always be calm
*she is very angry*
*she’s wants you to die in every way possible but isn’t allowed to say lol*
{they summon a book and read through for a few seconds before closing it}
uhmmm
Here!
{a cup of tea appears in your hands}
We believe this is supposed to help people calm down
….
I’m fine
you take it
*you can tell they are lying*
no no we insist!
You have
I insist
{the cup of tea disappears}
they seem to not like tea {it writes something down}
So!
what do people do to calm down