“There’s simply no room for me to park my hellcat” wins best in show for me.

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@anxiousdryad
“There’s simply no room for me to park my hellcat” wins best in show for me.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom
2 pics. no caption
working with kids and one of them says “you know you eat 8 spiders a night on average right?” and another goes “no no no those statistics are actually skewed by people who like eat spiders recreationally for fun and stuff” and my head snapped up like a fucking sleeper agent

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
im always saying this
me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤
the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup
im fucking crying
[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-
DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE
reblog to ruin a law student’s life
oh hello you’ve returned to us
Hi. I’m a trial attorney now and every last one of you is a motherfucker.
people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now
The older this post gets the funnier it becomes
My cousin born in 2000 is a licensed psychologist.
that’s how fucked up our world is now

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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"how fleeting are all human passions compared to the massive continuity of ducks"
Siamese Red-Necked Keelback (Rhabdophis siamensis), family Colubridae, Cambodia
Mildly to moderately venomous.
Venom is excreted into the saliva, and enters the prey through the bite wound. Keelbacks do not have fangs.
This species is also poisonous! They sequester toxins from the toads they prey on.
photograph by Yuehua Pu
I live in the northwest coast of Canada so we walk everywhere and do stuff outside in the rain and swim in whatever lakes and rivers we find so imagine my smug sense of Canadian superiority when I met a USAmerican Midwesterner who was horrified at the very thought
And then I went to the USAmerican Midwest
And I understood
What I mean to say is that it's very easy to delude yourself into believing you are more in tune with your environment when your environment is not actively hostile to your existence in every conceivable way
BC, Canada:
Rains frequently, but the worst is like standing under a bathroom shower. Genuinely inhospitable rainstorms are uncommon.
Along the coast, it's pretty easy in most areas to walk to at least one store, or else there's usually a bus or shuttle available. There are sidewalks and bike lanes everywhere.
It's a temperate boreal rainforest, so while there are many freshwater lakes and rivers, they're usually pretty cold. The biggest danger is typically getting caught in a strong current, and the most dangerous animals in swimming distance are on land.
Earthquakes happen almost every day, but the vast majority go unnoticed. Buildings are designed to withstand bigger seismic activity, so unless it's a 5 or higher it just kind of feels like having low blood sugar for a second. There are no tornados
Rural Illinois, USA:
One minute it's sunny, then ten minutes later that distant smudge on the horizon has swallowed the entire sky in black clouds and the water is coming down like waterfall and you literally CANNOT SEE. Then there's a crash like cymbals and you need to get indoors because the thunder and lightening are on TOP of you
No sidewalks until you are in the smack dab center of town, which is a three hour walk or twenty minute drive from wherever you are.
There aren't many natural bodies of water other than small ponds and creeks, and because the environment is so much warmer, those are filled with snapping turtles that can grow bigger than a nine year old child and water snakes that are incredibly venomous. These are paired with leeches and mosquitos for that sweet umami flavor.
Sometimes Jupiter, Lord of the Heavens decides to jam his finger into the side of your house just to fuck with your whole shit and throws your truck a thousand yards into the nearest church

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I can hear this image
skrr-CHUNK
Next up someone is going to claim that the Narnia series isn't kids books.
Kids books is probably not the best way to word it, you can enjoy them at every age, including your childhood, as you get older you may find new truths in them, but they're still good for any age.