420 Hell-blazeit

You know, with more than 300 comic book issues, it would be pretty easy to create a Hellblazer-inspired tarot deck. 🤔

if u make clark kent say soda you are grossly mischaracterizing him and i wont stand for it

anyway i bring that up because i think jason's singular hobby is that he's a line cook. which you would argue isn't a hobby at all and i would agree with you but Jason doesn't know how to have fun outside of the context of work and restaurants take all kinds of nutjobs. he interviews and shit and gets the job because he doesn't care about things like "being paid" a "livable wage" and seemed like he was on the least amount of drugs at the time of the interview. upon showing up the first day he's getting settled on the line and the servers come in to be like hey whats up man welcome and like the 5th server is none other than dick grayson. they look at each other in silent horror for 5 seconds before dick visibly comes to some sort of decision and is like. Hi Man I'm Rich Nice To Meet You. and jason is like. im jason. and then they have to pretend not to know each other from there on out until dick gets fired for exhibiting freak behaviors

"hey rich so what's that dad of yours like?" dick voice the alive one or the dead one? (asker crumples like aluminum foil)

jason is so bewildering because he's like. this gigantic wall of meat of a man and he's got a gazillion scars and he's just like painfully regular. like hey man it's mothers day and you haven't even vaped on the line. everyone else has done cocaine. you havent even had coffee. you just finished closing down your station and now you're dishwashing. hello. "what. josé wants to go home too." ITS NOT THE DISHWASHING ITS THE LACK OF DRUGS. "i dont like drugs" ITS MOTHERS DAY!!!

"but jason IS weird" you might say. "he's an incredibly violent man and he says deranged things all the time!" this, i have to tell you, is a bog standard line cook.

they can't get away from seeming like they know each other because idk if youve ever worked with anyone you have a mildly to moderately antagonistic relationship with but the second you can crack on them you do it and the more you know about them the easier it is to do. one time dick busts into the kitchen to flounce around the water station dramatically and was like "UGHH i'm so BORED i wouldn't have come in if i'd known it was going to be like this it's DEAD out ther-" jason voice "Like your mom?" dead silence in the kitchen. jason is chuckling quietly into his minced shallots. Dick voice "Like yours" uncomfortable laughter. jason is still chucking into his shallots. when it gets busy later dick fires all of his orders at once.

it's also vitally important in fact critical that nobody in their family knows that dick and jason work together. dick doesn't talk about his day job because its way less interesting than anything else he does with his time and jason just doesn't talk. they dont even talk about it to each other like they just havent acknowledged it. jason didnt even know dick was a server before then like he knew dick had a job but dick's job is just Having A Job. if you had asked jason what dick did to pay the bills (provided Jason knows at this point that dick doesn't take bruce's money) he would be like well. he's employed. "well what does he do" employed things. like it's just not his business he's a snitch not a snoop. it's like Four Years Later that they both tell a story together about that time at that restaurant that the others find out they worked together for literally over half a year.

nobody even knew jason was employed. he's like "I still work there" and theyre like WHAT?? "pays good hours are fine people are alright why would i quit" WHY WOULD YOU WORK IN THE FIRST PLACE "bored"

jason isn't even like an all star line cook he's just alright. it's just following directions and he's good with a knife and generally doesn't burn himself

bruce specifically feels like there is something wrong with the two of them he's like both of you. why would you not mention this. i feel like this is beyond the scope of my bad parenting. i know i fucked up somewhat severe but this specifically i dont know where it came from and i would like you to both stop because people keep seeing you do things that are not well and they wont stop looking at me like i did it.