Sarah's Blogs - Choose your own adventure! 1) @sarah-sandwich-writes: my writing blog where I share writer trials, tribulations, and triumphs! For both my original works and fanfic. 2) @sarah-sandwich: The whole enchilada. The novels, the fic, and the tomfoolery. Come watch me eat mayonnaise out of a jar in between promoting my books, raving about Spider-Man, and reblogging... basically everything. Check out my website at sarahbelisa.com and sign up for my newsletter! You can find me on AO3 as Sarah_Sandwich
Red, like my bleeding heart in your hand - Buy Red Here - 25k novella prequel (the childhood years) - Follow Nash, his sister Jo, and his best friend Teddy in Deliverance, TN as they take on bullies and grow together, only to be ripped apart before they reach their potential
Blue, like don't forget about me - Buy Blue Here - 65k queer romance - Twenty years after Nash and Teddy lost touch, they reunite at a funeral and find all of the too-big feelings from childhood are still there, bubbling under the surface
Violet, like these delights - 56k~ (revising) sequel to Blue - Jo's POV, coming of age in your 30's - A month before her brother's wedding is called off, Josephine Owens thinks her biggest challenges are accepting her return to second fiddle and making friends of her new teammates on the Vervain Creek roller derby team. So you could say orchestrating the downfall of the man stalking her family will be something of a surprise.
Woolen Hollow - Drafting Percolating Drafting - fantasy, magic systems, found family, accidental chosen one. A story about choice and that weird forest kingdom cult that thinks Midge is the chosen one
Hot Air Balloon Town (working title - percolating) - In a small town famous for their hot air balloon museum and annual festival, a young woman decides she's going to break the world record for highest altitude in an open basket. However, the ghost in town is complicating things.
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FanFiction
Spideypool (Peter Parker/Wade Wilson)
Paradise (spread out with a butter knife) - 72k - slowburn soulmates au where friendship is magic (or the one where Peter and Wade are literal soulmates but don't realize it for literal years because they're literal idiots)
The Little Barnacle - 3k - Peter panics and botches Wade's proposal by proposing first like the babbling disaster man he is. He also turned out hella aro and this was his choice.
GwenMJ (Gwen Stacy/Michelle Jones)
michelle.mp3 - 32k - Michelle breaks up with Peter and retreats to her grandma's house in the country to lick her wounds and meets Gwen, her insufferable neighbor who also happens to be the drummer and songwriter who upended her perfectly adequate life and is apparently back for more.
Gen Fics
Iron Imposter/Hometown Hero - 71k - Harley-centric, trans!Harley, canon compliant, post NWH - During the Blip, when Rose Hill was on the brink of blinking off the map, Harley Keener donned his homemade Iron Man armor and began stealing whatever his hometown needed to survive. They called him a hero, even when he pointed out that stealing ain't exactly hero work. Now, five years after the blipped have returned, things are still dire. He can't slow down. He can't take a day off. And he can't let anyone know how close he is to slipping and bringing all of Rose Hill down with him. It all unravels when Harley nabs a charity donation from under Spider-Man's nose and the hunt for the Iron Impostor begins.
Curative Kisses and Magical Mishaps - 1.7k - Tony Stark-centric - Morgan gets hurt and Tony makes it all better. Or: The one where Tony's life is so full of people who love and cherish him that I've erased Endg*me from existence and this is the canon now ✌
Parkner (Peter Parker/Harley Keener)
*deep breath*
Freak Out 'Verse - 317k - It starts with a kidnapping, evolves through a summer romance, and ends with a portal to another dimension, team dynamics, and... shit tits? am i reading this right? ...really? Yeah folks it says shit tits what the fuck
Peaches 'Verse - 90k - It starts with Abbie and Harley. It starts with leaving. It ends with Abbie and Harley and Peter and May. It ends with a room and choosing to stay.
The Distance Between (You and Me) - 29k - Harley struggles to get a grip on his PTSD while his kidnappers are still out there, the board of directors at Stark Industries are looking for any excuse to deny him his future right to inherit the company, and his "bodyguard" drives him up the fucking wall.
For the First Time, Eye to Eye - 47k - Peter and Harley have a lot of shit to work through and Harley's family reunion (while they pretend to be boyfriends of five years rather than workplace rivals), is not the time or place. And yet...
Lemon Boy - 117k - Post-Endgame (sorry) Harley takes in Peter as a roommate to help with expenses while he remodels his deceased uncle's house. Both grieving in their own way, they eventually learn to see the other clearly--through the mask and despite the barriers.
Put in the Work - 55k - Rated M - fka the nasa au, now with minimal nasa (sorry). Harley built his whole life around two things: his daughter and his career at NASA. It's nothing but bad luck that he's laid off at the same time Hazel is pushing for independence. To cope, he falls back on his usual stress-relief, hotel sex with a hot stranger, but bad luck arrives in threes and it's definitely bad luck to fall in love with your one-night stand. If only he had a friend to vent to other than his sister, his daughter, and his strange quasi-friendship with Spider-Man via twitter…
another time, a difference place (I have loved you before) - ??? - Rated M - In-progress (I'm posting as I go for once) - Endgame parkner fix it fic. Peter and Harley were together inside the soul stone. Unfortunately, neither of them remember anything and these frequent bouts of deja vu are getting weird.
Parkner One-Shots
Heart (in hand) Home (in you) - 2.5k - Harley-centric sick fic
An Insignificant Problem - 1.2k - De-aged!Peter; Fed-up!Harley
Wouldn't Dream of It - 2.3k - Harley-centric alien goo induced trip down memory lane
The Human Kind - 3.7k - Spidey and Laddie play hide and seek :) (mind the tags!)
Undercover? I thought you said under covers... - 3.7k - what it says on the tin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Peter, no - 3.4k - Peter is an awful outdoorsman. Harley is in love with him.
Rhythm and Blues - 1.3k - Flash POV! He's stuck late at school and sees something he isn't supposed to.
No Need to Rush - 5.3k - It's simple: Harley loves Peter. Yet complicated: Peter loves Harley.
Second Chances for Second Guessers - 3.7k - Peter is a flighty little whimp afraid of falling in love
Pete, I'm Fake Drunk and Wanna Go Home - 2.9k - Peter needs a night off and Harley has a fool-proof plan to make him take one
The Devil is a Hopeless Romantic - 2k - tried to write angst. it's only okay
Completely and utterly devoid of sex appeal - 1.7k - Peter has the hots for Harley when he wears a certain outfit. Unfortunately it's his work uniform. And they work together.
Fake Romance Crap - 3.4k - sure he fake married me an hour ago, but do you think he likes me?
Apeshit - 2.1k - A Freak Out 'Verse one-shot written for the prompt: You know what, maybe they ARE tired of being nice. Maybe they DO wanna go apeshit.
adventures with hair dye and feelings — In Space! - 8.7k - 5 times Harley and Peter don’t kiss +1 time they do (in space!) Written for the combined prompts: 8) every single kiss so far has been a disaster but it's really funny and 46) don't have a one night stand with your coworker on the spaceship
Come on, take a joyride - 6.8k - 5 times Harley takes Peter for a ride +1 time Peter takes Harley
Free Pass - 9k - Rated E - a smutty New Year's Eve one-shot that got plot in it somehow...
Baseball Smut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ - 2.4k - Rated E - Baseball uniforms are sexy, okay?
Seasons of You (remember remember remember me too) - 3.8k - Peter buys his first Christmas present in five years and Harley has a lot to learn, but he's off to a pretty good start. Or, the one with mittens and canned stew.
Coming Up...
Your Mom Freaked Out - ??? - An addition to the Freak Out 'Verse that occurs sometime before the final scene of You're Freaking Out's epilogue. Harley gets blasted with temporal rays when Peter and Tony's time machine experiment goes wrong. It's just his luck that he wakes up handcuffed with Officer Benjamin Parker sitting at his bed side...
Spider-Man 4: Bring it on Home - ??? - Peter/Michelle - Sequel to II/HTH - Michelle POV (maybe with some Peter POV too--i'll decide when I actually get to writing it hah) -- Inspired by the events of Iron Imposter (Hometown Hero), Peter sets out to Boston get his friends back. Meanwhile, Michelle is trying to solve the mystery of why she and Ned have gaping holes in their memories. Ned has it worse than she does and has the therapy and medical bills to prove it, which is all the more reason for her to get to the bottom of this before his episodes get any worse. She's positive she could have solved it by now if not for the universe throwing constant distractions in her face--like the cute guy that recently started frequenting the shop where she works. And what the hell is Spider-Man doing outside of New York? One mystery at a time, Em. You'll figure it out. You always do.
We Were Gods (we were kids) - 100k~ - parkner childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to superheroes fighting on opposite sides to reluctant allies to lovers for real this time (this is the OG OG Blue like don't forget about me, back to its fanfic roots)
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publisher: I've been looking into tumblr, have you thought of using Blaze to promote your book?
me: NO
publisher: But it seems like an efficient way to get this in front of more eyes-
me: people on tumblr hate Blaze.
publisher: There is no algorithm and you can't pay to promote a post? I don't understand how anyone advertises anything on tumblr.
me: That's the best part. They don't. They can't.
(trying to make him understand that we do not control the attention. We just have to show something shiny and gay enough and if people are interested, they'll reblog.)
(Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a deconstruction of the colonialist cowboy mythos dressed up as a sapphic romance.)
you’re not hopeless you’re just really really tired and in desperate need of a break and im shaking you by the shoulders and telling you that all is not hopeless but you do need to rest
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Kinda spoilers for bnd so if you haven’t watched it come back later
This is really really silly but i couldn’t stop giggling when i thought of it… anyways wow what a movie.
Also I knew she’d be there cus if you’ve seen my other posts then you know I made it happen, but i was still so shocked when she was actually there it was funny.
#I highly recommend moving out #buying everything available in the lefthanded version #and then inviting family members over for cooking together :-) #causes some very funny lightbulb moments
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the only reason i have never been groomed online is because when i was 10 i befriended 17 year olds who taught me how to interact with older people online safely.
yall have got to stop being scared of children online and start actually teaching them the ropes. because if you are not up there with them then they're going to be completely alone with the creeps and have 0 metric for what is and is not an appropriate relationship. this also applies offline.
when i was in my first internet community-- which was a well-moderated space-- my parents were concerned i was Talking to Adults. what they meant by this was that lifetime channel had recently done a couple movies in a row about internet grooming and murder, where isolated young girls were lured to meet much older men (who had lied about their own age) in person.
despite being a child of the 80s whose parents, understandably, had no experiential basis for teaching internet safety, i knew internet safety. no real name, no real location, don't share your age more than a rough range if at all, etc. why did i know those things? because adults in my first fandom communities taught me and other kids who showed up in those forum and chat spaces. they moderated or deleted messages that shared too much, laid ground rules, shepherded us. i knew those people in community, not in isolation (another tip the forum babies were given).
when my parents tried to ban me from all fandom internet-- a thing that was 80% of my social experience, as a rural, autistic, homeschooled teenager-- i posted a farewell in the forum (after a whole day of angry crying and arguing). one sweet member of the forum was a 20-something mom with two toddlers, and she wrote a lovely letter for me to print for my parents explaining how the community was moderated and what a benefit it could be and offered her own email and phone number if they wanted to chat.
they didn't reach out to her, but that letter is why i was allowed to stay online. just having the offer and the explanation was enough to reassure my parents. i wasn't besties with this woman, just a casual friend in the same space, but we stayed in touch. i respected her and the advice she and other adults in that community gave and it kept me safe in other interactions going forward
i'm friends with many of the people from that community on facebook now. they're still friends with each other. that kind woman? i watched via internet as her kids graduated. she watched me get married and have my own kids.
one of my older friends in another fandom was in her thirties when i got my driver's license as a teen. she celebrated with me. she sent my oldest kids a baby shower box that contained blankets that became their special blankies they still have saved somewhere as teens.
those relationships have been some of the most important ones of my teen years. they were people who enjoyed fandom chats with me, but also invested in me as a PERSON and not just as a kid they were tolerating. in the right context of healthy friendship, their advice and perspective kept me safe and helped me grow.
of course there are red flags kids should be taught for any relationship, but to stigmatize friendships across generational gaps harms kids more than it helps them. kids NEED friends that cross those spaces.
it is weird that celiac stuff has become part of the 'culture war'. because it's literally just a medical thing.... I get super anemic unless I cut a certain protein out of my diet, because it bulldozes the villi in my intestines. but if I post about it, right-wingers send me gore images. I guess you can't expect shitty people to be logical, but I've even heard lefty people make fun of gluten stuff, and it's like why are you mad about this??? why are you pissed off that I'm eating bread that doesn't taste as good so that I can have blood in my body? it's so morally neutral.
I'm sorry, I know you weren't actually looking for an explanation but I always have a rant about this locked and loaded.
As far as I can tell the reasons that this happens are:
The interpretation of disability accommodation as wokeness - a lot of the same people who are shitty about food limitations are also shitty about sign language interpreters and ramp requirements (also building regulations relating to the latter) because they view any accommodation as capitulation to a group they think should "suck it up and deal with it" (quietly exist without named or obvious accommodations). The conversations around peanut-free or milk-free classrooms to accommodate children with allergies are similarly unhinged and possibly more horrifying.
Conflating specialty diets as a result of proximity in the popular consciousness - you're a lot more likely to see something described as "vegan + gluten free" or to see vegan/vegetarian/g-free options grouped on menus than you are to see keto/vegan/gfree options so the "lefty" animal-free diets get grouped with gluten-free (it's also interesting that there are right-wing diets, and I wonder how many of these people remember when you used to be able to find "atkins-friendly" symbols on casual dining restaurant menus)
Gluten free diets became a fad fifteen years ago; tons of people read "Wheat Belly" and stopped eating wheat as a weight loss hack and when they went back to eating wheat because it's actually pretty difficult to get around a major staple grain they didn't experience any negative consequences; people saw this and basically think that it's a trend, that people are faking medically necessary diets as part of a fad. When questioned about this they always go "but, I mean, it's okay if you REALLY need to skip the wheat because you have a condition but most people are doing it because it's popular" when g-free diets haven't been a major trend for quite a while now. TO BE QUITE FAIR, I think that things like "Gluten Aware" cookies and beer and such, which contain a little gluten but not NO gluten contribute to this perception (these have annoyed me forever for two reasons: 1. They make people without celiac think that a little gluten is fine for people with celiac, which it is not; 2. fucking commit, companies. *I* want the cookies and beer and it's deeply annoying that these business will go to the lengths to create products with minimal gluten but won't actually make g-free foods - this is often because of the risk of cross contamination, they won't claim to make g-free things because they won't work with a dedicated g-free facility)
Anyway, in conclusion: it sucks, I'm sorry.
The fun flipside of this is that I've seen people who are more right wing become aggressively pro regulation and pro accommodation when they or their family members have to suddenly take on the individual burden of making up for a society that doesn't include them by default.
Is your ham made with vinegar? Does your ham have the generic word "spices" on the ingredient list? Does your ham include "smoke flavoring"? Does your ham include caramel coloring?
Because malt vinegar has gluten in it. "Spices" may include wheat products in a mix. Smoke flavoring may be made with barley flour. Caramel coloring may be made with wheat or barley syrup.
If the label says "gluten free" that means that the "spices," caramel coloring, vinegar, and smoke flavor are certified to contain 20ppm or less of gluten.
If the ham is cured in any way, it may include gluten. If the ham was marinated, it probably includes gluten. If the ham was prepared in a facility that processes wheat in any way, it might be cross contaminated with gluten.
There's a company out there called "Gluten Free Water" that makes water in plastic bottles, poking fun at the idea that too many things have a gluten free label. I fucking hate that company. Because that company is functionally saying "lol, people are so sensitive and over the top about this, let's be a little silly and laugh about how crazy people can be with their 'gluten free' nonsense."
Did you know that there are sustainable food containers and straws that contain wheat? And that you don't have to label them? There are definitely people with celiac who have been sickened by biodegradable plastic straws in their "obviously water is gluten free there's no risk here" water.
"It's over-labeled so it looks trendy" just means you don't know how foods are made or what foods contain gluten. Gluten is ridiculously common in foods in general, and also in packaged meats.
Your ham has to say gluten free because it distinguishes it from the hams that do contain gluten, which is a fucking lot of them. And you're annoyed that your ham has to say gluten free and I'm annoyed that I'm standing in the grocery store calling a ham company to figure out where they source their caramel coloring so I can figure out if the damned ham is safe to eat.
"lol, oats don't have wheat in them, are people so stupid that they have to be told what is and isn't wheat? why does this oatmeal have a gluten free label?" Cross contamination; gluten free oats are not grown near wheat and are not processed in facilities that process wheat.
"lol, rice doesn't have wheat in it, why is this rice labeled gluten free, all rice is gluten free" Cross contamination; the rice isn't processed on equipment that processes wheat.
"lol why does this turkey breast say gluten free, it's just fucking turkey" read the ingredients on your "just" turkey, lots of packaged meat is packed in broth, some of which contains modified food starch, which may contain wheat.
"lol why are these strawberries labeled gluten free? they're fucking strawberries" WAX, BUDDY. SOME FRUITS ARE COATED IN PRESERVATIVE WAX FILMS BY THE MANUFACTURER AND SOME OF THOSE FUCKING FILMS CONTAIN GLUTEN.
I think that part of the reason that people are so irritated by g-free labels is because it exposes them to just how vast and alienating their food systems are.
"Ham should just be meat from a pig, maybe with sugar and salt; what on earth is happening that there might be wheat in that process? Nothing in that process should involve wheat." And then you might have to think about it for a second, might have to wonder what "sugar" and "salt" mean when someone is producing a million hams to be delivered thousands of miles away. It's not just sugar and salt; it's preservatives and nitrates and batch cooking and getting corn syrup instead of sugar and getting smoke flavoring instead of smoking the ham and turning your "whole food" into all the ingredients that make up the ingredients that make up the ingredients.
A "gluten free" label says "you can eat this" to somebody with celiac disease, who has already pounded their skull against the shittiness of the medical system and the food system.
But to someone who doesn't have to worry that their food is going to disable them, a "gluten free" sticker on ham takes a known quantity and turns their sandwich into a hyperobject that contains animal agriculture and industrial additive production and shipping pollution and the ongoing assault on regulation.
If it doesn't have the label, you can just eat your lunch. If it does have the label, you are haunted by the specter of RFK junior imploding the FDA.
Turns out that everyone in the US with celiac is already constantly haunted by the possible implosion of the FDA because food regulation is an up-close and personal part of our daily lives that most people would rather not think about.
I'm sure I've left some people out because I slapped this together in 15 minutes but it's a whole lot more, imo artists and writers are nothing without these other guys (gn)
I consider myself a real hater but sometimes you really do go too far with haterism. once I had to break mutuals with someone bc they hated the entire art form of poetry and the final straw was when they started hateposting about soup. The food
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