Let's paint the gray haze into sky blue

just saw a tiktok (sorry) saying its gonna be pirate romance summer over clips of will/elizabeth and some other straight couple and then. eleanor/vane. with the caption "watch black sails". and like whatever gets ppl watching but i cant help and imagine whatever straight girlies turning on black sails expecting to see vane be some hopeless romantic to eleanors self insert and instead seeing them immediately punch each other followed by max/eleanor extended lesbian sex scene. pirate romance summer indeed

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops

The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already

i want you on my team holy shit

what a lot of people don't realize is that you can't actually be born in real life. the concepts of pregnancy, birth and motherhood are a scam made up by Fromsoftware in 2015 to sell more copies of Bloodborne

whatever. go my scallops

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops

@bellanesthesia

reblog to slap op with some paper in the wind

"the skeleton has been replaced out of an abundance of caution"

This is your…second…embroidery…

Normalize an Alfred Pennyworth who is absolutely dogshit at his job. This freshly legal little slut moved to the Big Smoke to pursue his dreams of acting then did military service then immigrated to fucking new jersey probably bc it was cheaper than new york. then he got a job as a valet or housekeeping staff or some shit at the mansion of Most Rich and Killable Couple On The Eastern Seaboard and you KNOW his slutty ass slept his way to the top. pennywaynes truther martha and thomas were swingers and i'll DIE on that hill. so they are obsessed him and he's blowing out backs while the rest of the house staff talk mad shit in the kitchen and then Alfred's sugar mommy and daddy get fucking SHOT and have named him the GUARDIAN of their CHILD and he has to shape the fuck up. BUT HE STILL DOESNT KNOW HOW TO DO THIS JOB. this cunt aint got experience running a household, he's british and can't cook for shit, landscaping cleaning bills property management HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A STAR. and this is too much. so he fires the entire staff. and then single parents what will become the most emotionally fucked up human being on the face of the planet.