Let's paint the gray haze into sky blue

Not sure how this works when shark skin is so incredibly smooth

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

I don't think this is true, but I will wait for a ruling by the sacred boar that lives in the center of the earth

MY PEANITS! IT BERNS!

went to a new optometrist today wearing my squid facts ‘save our freaks’ shirt from @sarahmackattack that has a strawberry squid on it. and i wasn’t even thinking about it but the optometrist walked in and he was like ‘oh what does your shirt say’ so i showed him and he was like ‘oh that’s neat!’ and then i thought he might like to know about strawberry squid eyes since they have weird eyes and he is an optometrist and all. so i was like ‘yeah it’s actually a real kind of squid called a strawberry squid, their eyes are really cool because they have one big yellow-green one and one small blue one’ and he kind of gasped and went ‘oh my god that’s so interesting i wonder why they have that. do you know what their retina composition is like?’ and i watched as he minimized my chart on the computer and started looking up images of strawberry squid and then he googled ‘strawberry squid retina composition’ and he was like ‘sorry we’ll get to your eye exam in a moment i just really want to find out’ LMAO 10/10 optometrist experience will be returning

Hell yeah

just saw a tiktok (sorry) saying its gonna be pirate romance summer over clips of will/elizabeth and some other straight couple and then. eleanor/vane. with the caption "watch black sails". and like whatever gets ppl watching but i cant help and imagine whatever straight girlies turning on black sails expecting to see vane be some hopeless romantic to eleanors self insert and instead seeing them immediately punch each other followed by max/eleanor extended lesbian sex scene. pirate romance summer indeed

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops

The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already

i want you on my team holy shit

what a lot of people don't realize is that you can't actually be born in real life. the concepts of pregnancy, birth and motherhood are a scam made up by Fromsoftware in 2015 to sell more copies of Bloodborne

whatever. go my scallops

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops

@bellanesthesia

reblog to slap op with some paper in the wind