venus, planet of love

Genuinely evil and dark-sided to put the periods between the letters in "milf" and "dilf." Like what is M.I.L.F. that is a supervillain organization composed entirely of cougars. Whoa that's a great idea actually post canceled hold on

desired you while the women flee

my cherios spelled out my exact address this morning but like what the gudge ever i gobbled those honey nut freaks up and licked the bowl too

I hope everyone loses the world cup and then the universe explodes

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

please hurry up in reblogging this I wanna jorts it before someone puts it in one of those heartwarming tiktok slideshows

i was like 'what could jorts it possibly mean' but as with many things clicking the original post immediately clarified the situation

Still dead

By ‘egg producers’, I choose to imagine they mean just a flock of disappointed British birds staring glumly at a phone.

the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.

Are you doing okay? We missed you at the devil's sacrament. He mentioned you by name. Everyone was looking around and cheering until we realized you weren't there. If you need to talk I'm always here. At the aforementioned devil's sacrament.

*guy who has never heard of Hamilton* I don’t know why you guys are all shipping random founding fathers with each other and not Lewis and Clark who were definitely fucking in a tent every chance they got on that trip Brokeback Mountain style

*guy who just found out about Hamilton* haha no I totally knew you were talking about the musical, I was just joking. no, I don’t think about Lewis and Clark’s relationship as doomed yaoi. that’d be weird.

stop asking "what is riverdale even about" riverdale is about a bunch of teens being ritually cannibalized by their own genre. while gay

You would think that Disco Elysium is a sequel to Rhythm Heaven. But it's not that