imagine being a kid and having to leave your dog in suspended animation and evacuate into space with the rest of humanity, not knowing when, or even if, you’ll ever be able to come back. a few decades later, you’re still not over your grief. you keep a plushie of your long lost pet in the window of your space pod. you yearn to go back to earth and reunite with them, but even if the climate catastrophes have stopped, there just isn’t enough fuel for the return trip. and then one day a rocket arrives. it can only have come from earth. and it contains, in addition to a fuckton of fuel, a freshly printed scan of what is unmistakeably your dog’s ass on a photocopier

I hope I'm not just a blog to you guys but also a gateway to acquire secondhand knowledge of medias you'll never get into

i literally cannot convey how long i fucking laughed after i realized that boobytrap backwards is partyboob

i really hope that this does not end up being the text post that defines my entire tumblr career

It is so fucking exhausting fighting your brain every day dude

sometimes home is a person

*flies past*

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies