Too gay to function

Her house is hers. She bought it and furnished it with money she made in her own job. In STEM, in politics, in healthcare, in fashion, in academy, in customer service. Her credit card is in her name (women in the US couldn’t have their own regardless of marital status until 1974). And it’s all pink and fashionable because femininity and badassness aren’t mutually exclusive. No matter who you are, you can be anything.

That’s why Barbie’s slogan is “you can be anything”. Teaching these ideals to little girls is why Barbie was created. Empowering women and empowering femininity is the original meaning of the Barbie doll. It’s not that you have to be all this to be a woman, but if you are all or some of this, you too are awesome.

And somehow pop culture deliberately changed that narrative. Sexualised, bimbofied, and villainised her, when she actually isn’t responsible for the impossible beauty standards — people are, she’s just a stylised, not-to-scale toy like most others.

Men are frothing because he’s just Ken and I guess they were expecting her to be just Barbie, but that’s exactly what Ken is. Canonically. A badass woman’s himbo boyfriend.

I'm Allan. I'm Ken's buddy. All his clothes fit me.

He's like the Legolas of the Barbie world.

team that recovered Ötzi

the Iceman again

ive gotten a lot of annoying responses and tags on this post, including the same IT crowd quote over and over again, people saying this post is dumb, and people saying i should care about sports more.

i truly do not care about all those responses, but this one is where i draw the line. this post is specifically and explicitly about bridging the gap between people who could not care less about sports (like me) and our family/friends who DO care about sports and are excited to talk about them.

this will effectively communicate

i do not know shit or fuck about these sports boys, please do not ask me my opinions on them and expect an answer. you will not convince me to care about sports on its own.

i am trying to be friendly with you, so you may now tell me who your boys are and if they're doing well as a friend might, but i will not be taking it that seriously so if you get in depth i will absolutely not remember this information. but i will now adopt your sports boys as my own for the next 30 seconds and do a big smile and say "thats great!" if you inform me your boys are doing well at the sport

i retain exactly enough information to vaguely recall which sport it is my coworkers are talking about, and the addition of calling it something very silly a la "sports boys" or "sportsball" every time serves as a flag that this is a nonserious but friendly conversation where i am asking about your interests but have no stake in the game myself.

and then even smaller

Once you notice it, it becomes a really REALLY good tool of keeping track of how Vriska is actually doing and not just how she is presenting herself. It becomes the equivalent of the comic shoving a "Vriska Stress-o-meter" at the side of your screen because the comic doesn't have to interupt itself to convey her status.

Purple-green bfl fibre, my first fractal, undeniably alien-monster yarn ٠࣪ ⚛︎

I make mistakes so you don't have to.

For a start, you can only buy these as a three-flavor set on the Bush's Baked Beans website, but to be fair to them it was pretty reasonably priced even for three normal-sized baked bean cans, which is what I thought I was getting. Then they showed up in like, a goddamn GIFT BOX and they're MASSIVE.

They also come with a baked bean can koozie (pictured left) and a branded can opener (pictured right).

So far I've only sampled the Apple Pie flavor.

I had thought -- well, hoped -- that it would be primarily cinnamon flavor, which doesn't actually go badly with the tomato-molasses sauce that canned baked beans normally have. This hope was a mistake.

Eating these beans is like mainlining some kind of legume-based distilled concept of Christmas. My face filled with a powerful dose of cinnamon, as though my sinuses were suddenly potpourri bowls. For a few minutes, as I chewed and swallowed, I lived in a world suffused by pure artificial cinnamon.

Normally when I make baked beans from a can (which is not often anymore, since I have a pressure cooker and like five pounds of dry pinto beans) I drain off some of the sauce and add mustard and barbecue sauce to remix it a little.

After sampling some of the Pure Christmas Bean (tm) I took the second half of the tin I'd reserved, drained it, and added plain yellow mustard; that did actually take the edge off and make them slightly more edible. And it's not that they even tasted bad -- they just tasted overwhelming.

He’s the only one who reacts to the narrator

He’s the only doll (besides the Weird House) who isn’t swayed in some way by Ken’s takeover

He also declares himself as “Ken’s buddy" (making canon his official box description) which makes his inability to be swayed more interesting

He has bendable legs (probably the only reason he tries to jump the fence instead of going around like everyone else)

He easily decked a half-dozen construction Kens and could probably singlehandedly win the Ken fight

He seems to know more about the real world than most Barbies

He knows what NSYNC is 

He knows about other Allan copies living in the real world (I’m trying to figure out if he made this up to convince the humans he can live in the real world, but even if he did, how does he know what NSYNC is???)

I refer, of course, to the time Buzz Aldrin (age 72 at the time) cold-cocked a moon landing conspiracy theorist straight in his smug face after being accused of being a coward, liar, and thief.

Yes, someone was indeed dumb enough to tell a man so unafraid of death that he was willing to go into the void on a fragile explosive rocket, a coward.

Said dumbass was filming this confrontation as some sort of proof of moon fraud, but has instead captured this glorious moment of near-cosmic justice for us to loop for all time.

Zhao Zhao (Chinese, b. 1982)

Constellations, 2021-2022

Constellations, 2017 (300 x 980 cm)

Embroidery on Silk???