0to3yearsold

had a beautiful moment of connection. my 14 month old neice was pointing at my beverage and looking like she expected something, so I said “yes baby, this is mugs zero sugar root beer. very good, baby.” but she just jabbed her finger more insistently, and went ‘woof wooof woof’. and this is when I looked closer and saw the mug’s rootbeer bulldog. I almost teared up. I said, “yes baby, that’s the mug’s rootbeer bulldog. woof woof woof. I love you small baby.”

I’m the first and last person in my bloodline with a tumblr blog

No. I am bequeathing mine to someone else in my will. Like how we had to unlock DMs by infecting one another back in the day.

Dogs serve as a kind of virtue eater for Americans to pour all of their kindness into without the risk of improving society or being nice to someone with any agency

Nobody seems to appreciate the gentle urgency of it

its fucked up that 'earl' was a rank now its a name. naming my kid Boyar

Can Boyar come have a playdate with Senechal

my four beautiful sons, Earl, Duke, Roy, and Emir

buy her a damp cardboard box... and fuck her in it!!! #BROKEROMANTIC

i want lists and solutions by the time i finish this jiyuiceh box. warning ⚠️ I. AM. TIRSTY! and it is ᶠʳᵘᶦᵗ punch! and it is delicious

“We should nuke them” “No, no, I’m telling you: carpet bombs would save money”