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@alsyndor
Every year, the richest person in America is declared the āWinner of Capitalism.ā They get a badge. Then all of their wealth is donated to charity and they have to start over at $0.
This procedure results in the worlds richest people donating excessive amounts of money ahead of the event in an attempt to avoid being hit by a real life blue shell. Thus adding to the overall annual donation.
Y'all think this is a joke but thatās literally how taxes are *supposed* to work
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every zodiac sign was correct except for the multiple Squarius charms
Making conversation can be tougher than it seems
This one time at work, I was training someone and the system froze so I decided to have some small talk and I asked her if she had any kids or anything (she was older) and she started crying. She asked me if it was cool if she went to take a walk to get some air and I told her okay because I mean what was I supposed to say? Anyways, she came back clearly still upset and told me that her husband left her for one of her daughters.
After that, I kept all my conversations strictly work related.
Bitch whet
non-gendered alternative toĀ āwelcome ladies and gentlemenā
daisy in daisies || oscar with oscar
this is Very Important
boyega in a bodega
|| adam driver driving
Important post
Domhnall Gleeson being a glee son.
(Yeah, might be a stretch)
Can this post get anymore perfect?
this was sent from heaven
Carrie Fisher fishing
Harrison Ford in a Ford
Mark Hamill
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With how much Iām stressed about money I really need to find somešš¾
Yall better not be fuckin lyin to me.
Why chance it?
I got my money when i reblogged this last time.
Letās go for round 2
Lord please šš¾šš¾šš¾šš¾
Inshallah yes!
If iām telling you, āthis is a hot plate.ā But I make no effort to put it down, iām internally yelling at you to move your shit. Your phone. Your keys. Your bread. Whatever is directly in front of you is from that point on is now classified as your shit. The shit you are suddenly responsibly for and I am burning my hands for. Move your shit. Iām not going to move it for you.
Shoutout to the people who see me approaching with their food and immediately start clearing the way for me. You are the real MVPs. You know whatās up. You understand.
As for everybody else. Move. Your. Shit.
We see that and we respect the fuck out of you. Thank you.
I had a dream that unless the teacher told us class was over, we were forbidden from going out the door. Our teacher was very forgetful, and maybe even malicious. After being forced to stay past sunset many days, my class decided we were going to break out every night. Eventually our attempts led us to discovering rifts in space-time where we could warp. So we never used the door. Checkmate.
the window
what? you going to critique my dreams? my subconscious creations, that I did by accident, while asleep? the chemicals in my brain? are you going to use your foul eyes and dissect all of the plotholes in my dreams? you going to critique the weather? harass the clouds? make fun of thunder for being off key? remind me to come to your house and shred your shoes
That response is fucking Shakespearean.
black women deserve better.
ALL*
Eaxctly all black women deserve better.
To the customers who apologize repeatedly forĀ ābotheringā me, or offer to clean up their own spill if I just get them some paper towels, or walk all the way around an aisle so as not to disturb me when Iām blocking their path, I just want to reassure you that you are NOT the annoying customer we complain about in retail. You are very kind and you clearly respect me and my time and I appreciate you. Also I am happy to help you with whatever you need and it is not at all a bother.
To the customer who shoutedĀ āEGGS?ā at me from twenty feet away because apparently it was just too much trouble to come a few steps closer and use a complete sentence likeĀ āwhere are the eggs, please?ā: fuck you.
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He totally forgot heās not supposed to admit that.
things that still freak me out: those sinks americans have in their kitchens that you can destroy stuff with
Honestly this post has been on my mind all day. Those weird destructosinks for people with too much money are apparently common in America. And Americans get defensive over them.
Well donāt come crying to me when your wean gets eaten by the fucking kitchen sink.
hOLY SHIT WHAT IF U TRY AND CLEAN THE PLUG AND TURN IT ON IM SO SCARED
Okay it took me for-fucking-ever to figure out wtf you guys are talking about are you talking about garbage disposals? Like down the drain??
with the spinny knives
No knives, just a dull piece of spinny metal.
you realise it takes the same amount of force to cut thru a carrot as a finger
i dont know what you do over there but we usually donāt stick our hands in our sink drains
whoās going around fisting sinks anyway
ādonāt come crying to me when your wean gets eaten by the fucking kitchen sinkā
is that person saying they fuck kitchen sinks? is that what I just read? they put their dick in the sinkās drain and they fuck it?
dont sinkshame
Child. Wean means child.
Okay, so you put your CHILD in a sink and stuff them down the drain? Thatāsā¦ thatās definitely worse.
Some people bathe their small children in the kitchen sink rather than using the bath tub.
you have to plug the drain to do thatā¦.
sometimes tumblr really out does itself.
tbh a kid could probably still turn that on accidentally and hurt itself
also regardless why do you even need that, thereās trash cans?
Itās for people who donāt have compost bins mostly
Okay but again, why do you need that?
We donāt have one but we still just throw it in the trashcan
sink hongry must FEed
My āfavoriteā part of growing up/being poor is when you have some disposable income, even like 10 or 20 bucks, and deciding to splurge on yourself or even doing something unnecessary outside of base survival (Ie: Instead of getting a lot of cheap processed food āsplurgingā on a night out like bowling or going out to eat)Ā
and then the moment itās over or right before you click checkout, you get hit with this deep feeling of guilt and shame as you realize what that money could have gone towards. Or when later, always inevitably, you are in desperate need of money you can recall everyĀ āwastedā cent you spent.Ā
Itās really disgusting that while I feel guilt over buying something as simple as a face mask, someone else can lose millions in the stock without even noticing.Ā
it really is disgusting that things like bill gates not knowing the price of bread is endearing while me for once in my life placing the quality of life over survival is seen as living outside of my means. That living within your means is just code for just existing as a tool to make others money.Ā
The breakthrough, spurred by the discovery of plastic-eating bugs at a Japanese dump, could help solve the global plastic pollution crisis
Scientists have created a mutant enzyme that breaks down plastic drinks bottles ā by accident. The breakthrough could help solve the global plastic pollution crisis by enabling for the first time the full recycling of bottles.
The new research was spurred by the discovery in 2016 of the first bacterium that had naturally evolved to eat plastic, at a waste dump in Japan. Scientists have now revealed the detailed structure of the crucial enzyme produced by the bug.
The international team then tweaked the enzyme to see how it had evolved, but tests showed they had inadvertently made the molecule even better at breaking down the PET (polyethylene terephthalate) plastic used for soft drink bottles. āWhat actually turned out was we improved the enzyme, which was a bit of a shock,ā said Prof John McGeehan, at the University of Portsmouth, UK, who led the research. āItās great and a real finding.ā
Continue Reading.
Hereās another story from Science Alert that goes into a bit more detail about the research and includes a link to the paper itself, if anyone is interested.
āAfter just 96 hours you can see clearly via electron microscopy that the PETase is degrading PET,ā says NREL structural biologist Bryon Donohoe.
George-Washington.zip
Why is this so funny to me? I think itās the quick little jumpcuts, and then the reveal feels like a punchline to a joke.
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In 7th grade our teacher made us submit an essay into a competition sponsored by a drug-free campaign. The essay basically had to be about how drugs are bad and our pledge to never do drugs. My friend won first place out of the entire district and the reward was a check for $40 to be used towards college. The check was written so that it couldnāt be redeemed until 2017 (the year we graduated) and my friend just now cashed it. She then proceeded to buy 7 grams of weed with her drug-free essay prize money.
now that is big dick energy
This whole thread is cool and wholesome.
something they have control over!!! yes!!!!!!!
My number one tip for straight men (I mean, it could conceivably work for other genders and sexualities, but youād have to adjust it quite a bit) is: inagine theyāre a man.
Imagine that you just randomly told some bloke in a pub that he has beautiful eyes.
That you walked up behind your coworker Jim and started caressing his neck and shoulders while talking to him about the budget.
That you just sent a large and unexplained bouquet of flowers to Darren in Accounting.
That instead of complimenting a coworker on her breasts, you complimented him on his dick.
Does the action now seem weird? Uncomfortable? Do you no longer want to do it now that it isnāt directed at somebody you are sexually attracted to?
That strongly suggests that your action has a sexual aspect to it and therefore probably counts as sexual harassment!
I have a large, colorful tattoo on one arm. Iāve had multiple strange men cross a room to tell me how awesome it is, frequently while Iām at work, and it has never made me uncomfortable.
A couple of weeks ago, someone yelled out a car at meĀ āI FUCKING LOVE YOUR BOOTSā, which was awesome.
Itās justā¦ itās really not hard to compliment people in a way that isnāt creepy, if your goal is actually to compliment them and not to slide aĀ ābtw Iām thinking about fucking youā under the radar.
And the fact that some guys have NO IDEA how to do this really shows whatās wrong with our society.
