basically the only time i see bad luck brian these days it's because he's having something terrible happen to his penis. which like, i get it, it happens to the best of us, but can he please call me some time other than when he's had his penis ripped off by penis gnomes? it really seems like he doesn't really value our friendship outside of being a rock to complain to, which is a shame, because i just got a great deal on a purchase from some penis gnomes















