Sweetly Carnal

artwork commissioned by one and only @olivieblake

But the monster could not get into the habit of peering into the depths, and by chance, his gaze passed over the day boy and the night girl, leaving one to slip out of the dark. from Nightmares and Nocturnes by @olivieblake

I don’t want to decide how our date will go. I don’t want to decide where we go, or what I wear, or who will drive, or where we’ll end up.

I don’t want to worry about choosing a restaurant that you’ll like, or wonder if you’ve been there before, or are picky about that kind of cuisine, or dislike the neighborhood it’s in.

I don’t want to hem and haw over which outfit will make me look my best for you, but not too slutty, but isn’t too uncomfortable, but is still sexy. I don’t want to fret over choosing underwear that will sit right under the dress, if I should make it match. If I should wear an unlined bra because you’ll want to touch me through it, or a padded bra because it will make me look stacked in a wiggle dress. 

I don’t want to worry about whether I should meet you there so I have an escape route, or allow you to pick me up because you want to be a gentleman, or take an uber to be safe.

I don’t want to stress over whether taking you home with me tonight is too soon. I don’t want to wonder if you’ll think I’m slutty if I go home with you. I don’t want the night to end too soon because I’ve got ideas in my head of what’s appropriate for a first, second, third, or fourth date. I don’t want to rush into things and spend tomorrow worrying if you think we went too far.

I want you to take the lead. I want you to decide.

I need you to share your preferences, indicate what you would like, or outright make a request. 

Take away my worry by taking away the options that plague me.

You like Thai food and Indian food, or better yet, you want to go to a specific restaurant. You’d like to see me in a little black dress, no panties. You’ll pick me up so we don’t both have to worry about parking. And while you know we both want so much more, you set boundaries for the night because you want me to be comfortable. Because there’s always next time.

Mr.Cain (via asmodeus-cain)

Perfect!

Whenever I place myself in a position for spanking, my husband says, “There’s my girl.” At first it made me chuckle. I mean, my ass is pretty much in his face, and that’s when he says I’m his girl? It never bothered me – just struck me as humorous.

But it’s been years now, and the other day, I realized how accurate the statement was. After a long day with limited time together, it’s the first overtly submissive act I can engage in without an audience. It’s the first time the two of us are together (usually) without distractions or interruptions.

(via omnomnomnoms)

Makes a lot of sense.

O/our tribe has had its first baby!

At 6:33am, Saturday morning, W/we received the news W/we have all been waiting for!

@sweetcarnality and R are home with their new bundle of baby girl joy!

If this crosses your dash, please send her a congratulations and a ton of love and light -  W/we are very excited about this and just needed to let everyone know ASAP!

I had a long conversation with a friend last night, about depression.

Depression is just plain brutal, and I’ve had more experience with it than I care to think about.  It hurts everyone involved, in ways that are subtle and devious. We realized during our discussion, though, that it’s particularly hard for the submissive partners of affected Dominants.

D/s is not our entire relationship, but its nuances color so many of our interactions.  When Wolf’s depression takes hold, it’s sometimes all he can do to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  He manages the bare essentials, and not much more.  Not only do I feel helpless because I can’t bring him out of it, but I feel adrift, unloved, and decidedly un-owned.  How can he give me the structure and discipline I need if he can barely make himself get out of bed? Then in the midst of feeling sorry for myself, I remember how much worse he must feel, and I add guilt to the reasons I hurt.

On the worst days, it feels like he’s in a isolation booth.  I can see him, but I can’t touch him.  I know he’s there, and I know that he will eventually be released, but that doesn’t make the wait any easier.  All I can do is keep mouthing I love you against the glass, and hope he understands.

My friend and I asked Wolf for advice, and this is what he said.  “Remember that depression isn’t about you.  It isn’t anything you’ve said or done, and doesn’t mean that they don’t love you.  Even though it feels helpless, and like there’s nothing you can do, your efforts matter, even when you’re turned away.  It’s also okay to engage an activity with your partner, and push past the lethargy to force a little light in.”

He also recommended a support group, but my friend pointed out (rightly so) that many of the issues facing subs are unique to us.  Can you imagine going to a depression support group and complaining that your partner’s depression was really cutting into your spanking time?  Probably not the best conversation starter.

I don’t have a solution. Wish I did. I can only offer my experience, the few lessons I have learned; the will to open the discussion, and the knowledge that sometimes the words help, even if only a little. A little better, a little more understanding, patience and self love are a little better.

A friend from long past tagged my bumper. When we get better, everyone gets better. Still true.

It is O/our dear @sweetcarnality‘s due day! 

Everyone get the energy flowing and get that baby home!

My darling princess i recommends using “French induction” - rough “vanilla” sex, with doggy style working best due to deeper penetration. Then, repeat until “desired results” are achieved! :-)

(Is it any wonder I fucking love My little girl?)

W/we love you sweetc!