I need a fic of Hayden trying to be supportive ally and watching the only gay movie he knows with Shane. So they watch brokeback mountain and Shane identifies so clearly with the movie and maybe almost has a panic attack or something and Hayden learns about Ilya. Then time skip and the almost plane crash happens and suddenly the movie almost becomes a reality for Shane because Ilya could have died and no one would have told him anything because they canât even have each other as emergency contacts because Shane is scared someone is going to find out and then he proposes because he will be brave enough to do what ennis and Jack couldnt do. And he needs to suffer and cry but still have a happy ending. If anyone has read or written anything like this please share. Please and thank you :)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Heated Rivalry Open Relationship AU chapters (updated 27 June)
If you want updates when there is a new chapter, click on the three dots in the upper right and select âFollow this postâ!
A few weeks ago @perlukafarinn posted "I love an AU where Ilya seduces Shane away from an asshole boyfriend and I really want one where the boyfriend suggests opening the relationship and that's how Shane and Ilya first start fucking." And lo, the #OpenRelationshipAU was born, and lots of people have been getting very excited about the chapters @perlukafarinn has been posting.
This finding document covers JUST the story. (There are now more than 40 posts in the tag and a lot of it is discussion.) I'm putting in a logline and a quote from each post.
The Idea/Outline Post
Snippet:
Boyfriend is out and Shane is not (for obvious reasons) and while this doesnât necessarily make for an unhealthy relationship Boyfriend is, as established, an asshole. Heâs not shy about reminding Shane of how lucky he is that he puts up with the secrecy and how impossible it would be for Shane to find someone else in his situation.Â
Theyâve also been together since they were teenagers so Boyfriend is the only guy Shane has ever been with and the only one who knows Shane is gay, which also means that Shane has no one to talk to about any misgivings he might have about the relationship.
The story is the same as in canon from Ilyaâs perspective until the CCM commercial when he hits on Shane in the shower and Shane, visibly into Ilya and fighting with himself internally, tells him he canât because he has a boyfriend. Then he panics about what he just told Ilya but Ilya promises not to tell anyone - they have the same secret, after all. Sure heâs disappointed but he can always find other people to fuck (that hollow feeling in his chest feels like a lot more than just disappointment but Ilya ignores that).
After the cut: chapter by chapter, both in posting order and in timeline order. I'll update this as the story continues.
Posting Order
All-Stars 2011
Itâs Ilyaâs turn to roll his eyes. Enough of this beating around the bush, he decides. âSo you are still withâŚ?âÂ
He lets the sentence hang between them unfinished. Hollander will catch on quickly; their last off-ice conversation about his secret boyfriend is still fresh in Ilyaâs memory despite the months that have passed. He has no doubt this is even more true for Hollander.
2007: Shane meets Brian at a party
Shaneâs never been to a college party before but some of his older teammates on his U18 team insisted he come along. They want to teach him how to loosen up, and Shaneâs not sure if they mean it as a favor or if they want to see him embarrass himself.Â
The party is loud and uncomfortable, and everyone keeps insisting that Shane drink. Brian finds him there, alone in the crowd, lost and a little bit miserable, teammates scattered around in the wind.
2012: Ilya takes Shane back to his place for a chat after a Boston/Montreal game
âCheer the fuck up,â Ilya calls, grinning when Hollander startles at his voice. âYou should be used to losing to me by now.â
âWhich one of us won the Calder, again?â Hollander asks, pocketing his phone.Â
Ilyaâs grin widens. He thinks he must be one of the only people in the world who knows what a bitch Shane Hollander can be. What a privilege.
2012: Ilya tells Sveta about "Jane" and "her" shitty boyfriend
It was her third short-lived relationship of the year. Sveta suffers from an unfortunate combination of high standards and terrible taste in men. It makes Ilya think of Hollander, who has the same trash taste but none of Svetaâs good judgment.Â
Maybe Ilya could use her advice.
2013: Shane visits Ilya's place again after a game that Svetlana attended
It gets to a point where theyâre texting almost daily. Itâs almost like theyâre friends, which is what gives Ilya the courage to suggest they hang out after a game again.Â
Hollander accepts. They play video games and talk shit, and itâs fun, even though itâs not what Ilyaâs been chasing Hollander for since they did that CCM commercial. At one point Ilya brings up Hollanderâs boyfriend, only to get roundly shut down, and well. Message received.
2014: Brian tells Shane he wants to open up the relationship
Shane is determined for tonight to go well. He got food delivered from Brianâs favorite restaurant and picked up a bottle of his favorite wine to pair it with. He even busted out the candles. Heâs not the best boyfriend, he knows, but he can at least show Brian that heâs trying.
MLH Awards 2014 part 1
Ilya spent the past week trying not to read into it but right now, he canât remember why. Obviously, Hollander came to his senses and dumped his loser boyfriend, and heâs finally going to take Ilya up on his offer to fuck. Itâs the only thing that makes sense.
Maybe Ilya is a little bit blinded by his winnerâs high. But heâs also right, he knows it. Tonight is for getting everything heâs ever wanted, a feast to keep him sated through the lean summer weeks in Russia.
MLH Awards 2014 part 2
Heâs never even admitted it to himself, how badly heâs wanted Ilya Rozanov, in a way he didnât know he could want men who werenât his boyfriend. The words slip easily from his tongue now, the shame thatâs always accompanied that want a distant memory.
2007/2009/2012: Shane's first overnight with Brian, as well as Shane POV on how he is hiding it from his parents
Shane nods, guilt simmering in his gut at how easily Mom believes him. Itâs because heâs never given her reason to doubt, never gotten in the kind of trouble other guys on the team and in his grade get into on a regular basis.
At least ask me some follow-up questions, Shane wants to shout, but he doesnât. Obviously. He doesnât actually want to be caught in a lie.
2014: Ilya POV: Shane and Ilya hook up after games
âOh.â Hollanderâs expression twists, lips tugging in a frown. âNo, he doesnât. He doesnât tell me about other people, either. I donât wanna know.â
âSound healthy,â Ilya says dryly.
âFuck you. Donât you need to have been in a relationship to know what a healthy one looks like?â
Ilya resists the urge to tell Hollander that his relationship is so dysfunctional, a blind dog could see it. He doesnât feel like being thrown out of bed just yet.
2014: Shane freaks out the morning after MLH awards; Shane and Brian several months after Brian opens the relationship
He thinks about telling Brian about Rozanov, but heâs not sure what the rules are. Brian hasnât told him about anyone heâs fucked or is thinking about fucking. Maybe Shane should wait for him to bring it up. Brian hates it when he pesters him for constant clarification, and Shane doesnât want to ruin his good mood. Better to just follow his lead and work through the rest of it on his own.
Besides, if Brian doesnât know about Rozanov, he canât tell Shane not to sleep with him again. Shane canât pretend thatâs not a little bit of a factor.
2015: Ilya and Shane at All-Stars (Ilya POV)
It makes Ilya want to claw his skin off a little bit, thinking about how long it's been since he last saw Shane Hollander naked. Knowing that in his absence, Hollander's boyfriend has been fucking him regularly, erasing the memory of Ilya's touch and replacing it with his own.
2015: Ilya and Shane at All-Stars (Shane POV)
It's difficult enough to turn Rozanov down for anything before they're in bed. Once they're actually naked, Shane has discovered there's pretty much nothing he doesn't want Rozanov to do to him.
2015: Hanging with Hayden
Hayden doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't push. It's one of the things that make him so easy to be friends with. He'll ask after Shane, try to set him up on dates, but he never pushes after the first no.
Sometimes Shane wishes he would, a little bit. It's not like he could tell Hayden anything, but if Hayden pushed, if he made Shane talk, it would at least release some of the pressure. It wouldn't be worth the fallout but it would at least be some kind of relief.
2015: Seeing Ilya After All-Stars
Shane doesn't think he's alone in feeling that something has changed. Rozanov doesn't mouth off during the face off like usual but he smiles when Shane meets his eyes, small and private. Shane finds himself smiling back, despite the conflicting feelings in his chest. It's impossible not to, with the way Rozanov is looking at him.
2015: continuation of previous scene, Ilya POV
His eyes flicker over Brian, curious and disdainful. He's handsome, Ilya supposes, or he would be to a person who knew less about his ugly personality. Tall and fit, his dark hair carefully styled and his face clean shaven. He's wearing a tailored suit, tie loosened around his neck. The way he's standing, it's clear he's using every bit of the tiny height advantage he has to tower over Shane.
Ilya hates him.
2015: continuation of previous scene, Shane POV
"I told you to find a guy to hook up with, not a second boyfriend!" Brian snaps, finally looking up. "Since last June, Shane? Why the fuck did you think that was okay?"
Shane flushes, stomach clenching tightly. He feels guilty and angry in equal measures, and above all confused about what he should be feeling. Brian has something of a point - if Shane really wasn't doing anything wrong, why would he be feeling like he just got caught?
2015: Ilya goes to NYC specifically to hook up with Shane
In hindsight, bragging to Shane's boyfriend about how he planned to steal him away right as Ilya was about to go three months without seeing him off the ice was maybe not the smartest move.
2015: Playoffs
This is probably why he feels so annoyed when he comes home and Brian is already there, sitting on the couch and waiting for Shane. For the second time this week.
They've never spent time together during playoffs before and Brian has never pushed for it. He may not like hockey but he understands Shane's dedication to it.
Shane knows things are different between them this year - especially after the confrontation with Rozanov - but he still thought Brian got it. Their relationship exists in a world apart from hockey and during playoffs, Shane needs to stay in the world where he's Shane Hollander, Captain of the Montreal Metros. Any distractions, even nice ones, are not acceptable.
2015 playoffs: final game
Shane's not dwelling on it, though. His mind feels razor sharp. A kind of calm descended over him in their first game against the Drillers that has yet to lift. He knows what he has to do to win, and knows he's capable of it, too. Knows his team is capable.
The night before the last game, Brian calls.
In-Universe Timeline Order
2007: Shane meets Brian at a party
Shaneâs never been to a college party before but some of his older teammates on his U18 team insisted he come along. They want to teach him how to loosen up, and Shaneâs not sure if they mean it as a favor or if they want to see him embarrass himself.Â
The party is loud and uncomfortable, and everyone keeps insisting that Shane drink. Brian finds him there, alone in the crowd, lost and a little bit miserable, teammates scattered around in the wind.
2007/2009/2012: Shane's first overnight with Brian, as well as Shane POV on how he is hiding it from his parents
Shane nods, guilt simmering in his gut at how easily Mom believes him. Itâs because heâs never given her reason to doubt, never gotten in the kind of trouble other guys on the team and in his grade get into on a regular basis.
At least ask me some follow-up questions, Shane wants to shout, but he doesnât. Obviously. He doesnât actually want to be caught in a lie.
All-Stars 2011
Itâs Ilyaâs turn to roll his eyes. Enough of this beating around the bush, he decides. âSo you are still withâŚ?âÂ
He lets the sentence hang between them unfinished. Hollander will catch on quickly; their last off-ice conversation about his secret boyfriend is still fresh in Ilyaâs memory despite the months that have passed. He has no doubt this is even more true for Hollander.
2012: Ilya takes Shane back to his place for a chat after a Boston/Montreal game
âCheer the fuck up,â Ilya calls, grinning when Hollander startles at his voice. âYou should be used to losing to me by now.â
âWhich one of us won the Calder, again?â Hollander asks, pocketing his phone.Â
Ilyaâs grin widens. He thinks he must be one of the only people in the world who knows what a bitch Shane Hollander can be. What a privilege.
2012: Ilya tells Sveta about "Jane" and "her" shitty boyfriend
It was her third short-lived relationship of the year. Sveta suffers from an unfortunate combination of high standards and terrible taste in men. It makes Ilya think of Hollander, who has the same trash taste but none of Svetaâs good judgment.Â
Maybe Ilya could use her advice.
2013: Shane visits Ilya's place again after a game that Svetlana attended
It gets to a point where theyâre texting almost daily. Itâs almost like theyâre friends, which is what gives Ilya the courage to suggest they hang out after a game again.Â
Hollander accepts. They play video games and talk shit, and itâs fun, even though itâs not what Ilyaâs been chasing Hollander for since they did that CCM commercial. At one point Ilya brings up Hollanderâs boyfriend, only to get roundly shut down, and well. Message received.
2014: Brian tells Shane he wants to open up the relationship
Shane is determined for tonight to go well. He got food delivered from Brianâs favorite restaurant and picked up a bottle of his favorite wine to pair it with. He even busted out the candles. Heâs not the best boyfriend, he knows, but he can at least show Brian that heâs trying.
MLH Awards 2014 part 1
Ilya spent the past week trying not to read into it but right now, he canât remember why. Obviously, Hollander came to his senses and dumped his loser boyfriend, and heâs finally going to take Ilya up on his offer to fuck. Itâs the only thing that makes sense.
Maybe Ilya is a little bit blinded by his winnerâs high. But heâs also right, he knows it. Tonight is for getting everything heâs ever wanted, a feast to keep him sated through the lean summer weeks in Russia.
MLH Awards 2014 part 2
Heâs never even admitted it to himself, how badly heâs wanted Ilya Rozanov, in a way he didnât know he could want men who werenât his boyfriend. The words slip easily from his tongue now, the shame thatâs always accompanied that want a distant memory.
2014: Ilya POV: Shane and Ilya hook up after games
âOh.â Hollanderâs expression twists, lips tugging in a frown. âNo, he doesnât. He doesnât tell me about other people, either. I donât wanna know.â
âSound healthy,â Ilya says dryly.
âFuck you. Donât you need to have been in a relationship to know what a healthy one looks like?â
Ilya resists the urge to tell Hollander that his relationship is so dysfunctional, a blind dog could see it. He doesnât feel like being thrown out of bed just yet.
2014: Shane freaks out the morning after MLH awards; Shane and Brian several months after Brian opens the relationship
He thinks about telling Brian about Rozanov, but heâs not sure what the rules are. Brian hasnât told him about anyone heâs fucked or is thinking about fucking. Maybe Shane should wait for him to bring it up. Brian hates it when he pesters him for constant clarification, and Shane doesnât want to ruin his good mood. Better to just follow his lead and work through the rest of it on his own.
Besides, if Brian doesnât know about Rozanov, he canât tell Shane not to sleep with him again. Shane canât pretend thatâs not a little bit of a factor.
2015: Ilya and Shane at All Stars (Ilya POV)
It makes Ilya want to claw his skin off a little bit, thinking about how long it's been since he last saw Shane Hollander naked. Knowing that in his absence, Hollander's boyfriend has been fucking him regularly, erasing the memory of Ilya's touch and replacing it with his own.
2015: Ilya and Shane at All Stars (Shane POV)
Itâs difficult enough to turn Rozanov down for anything before they're in bed. Once they're actually naked, Shane has discovered there's pretty much nothing he doesn't want Rozanov to do to him.
2015: Hanging with Hayden
Hayden doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't push. It's one of the things that make him so easy to be friends with. He'll ask after Shane, try to set him up on dates, but he never pushes after the first no.
Sometimes Shane wishes he would, a little bit. It's not like he could tell Hayden anything, but if Hayden pushed, if he made Shane talk, it would at least release some of the pressure. It wouldn't be worth the fallout but it would at least be some kind of relief.
2015: Seeing Ilya After All-Stars
Shane doesn't think he's alone in feeling that something has changed. Rozanov doesn't mouth off during the face off like usual but he smiles when Shane meets his eyes, small and private. Shane finds himself smiling back, despite the conflicting feelings in his chest. It's impossible not to, with the way Rozanov is looking at him.
2015: continuation of previous scene, Ilya POV
His eyes flicker over Brian, curious and disdainful. He's handsome, Ilya supposes, or he would be to a person who knew less about his ugly personality. Tall and fit, his dark hair carefully styled and his face clean shaven. He's wearing a tailored suit, tie loosened around his neck. The way he's standing, it's clear he's using every bit of the tiny height advantage he has to tower over Shane.
Ilya hates him.
2015: Continuation of previous scene, Shane POV
"I told you to find a guy to hook up with, not a second boyfriend!" Brian snaps, finally looking up. "Since last June, Shane? Why the fuck did you think that was okay?"
Shane flushes, stomach clenching tightly. He feels guilty and angry in equal measures, and above all confused about what he should be feeling. Brian has something of a point - if Shane really wasn't doing anything wrong, why would he be feeling like he just got caught?
2015: Ilya goes to NYC specifically to hook up with Shane
In hindsight, bragging to Shane's boyfriend about how he planned to steal him away right as Ilya was about to go three months without seeing him off the ice was maybe not the smartest move.
2015: Playoffs
This is probably why he feels so annoyed when he comes home and Brian is already there, sitting on the couch and waiting for Shane. For the second time this week.
They've never spent time together during playoffs before and Brian has never pushed for it. He may not like hockey but he understands Shane's dedication to it.
Shane knows things are different between them this year - especially after the confrontation with Rozanov - but he still thought Brian got it. Their relationship exists in a world apart from hockey and during playoffs, Shane needs to stay in the world where he's Shane Hollander, Captain of the Montreal Metros. Any distractions, even nice ones, are not acceptable.
2015 playoffs: final game
Shane's not dwelling on it, though. His mind feels razor sharp. A kind of calm descended over him in their first game against the Drillers that has yet to lift. He knows what he has to do to win, and knows he's capable of it, too. Knows his team is capable.
taking random HR quizes on buzzfeed because im procrastinating on homework and i saw one on which HR man is perfect for you and I got the dinosaur đŠ im so ashamed of myself. Im sorry ilya my love, i wasnt boring enough for you
does someone want a hollanov fic list that's just my personal latest/best reads? no? well you're getting it anyway.
ain't nothing but mammals explicit, 7k, oneshot. exquisitely nasty. sweat kink, couple sex that you can only have with the person you allow yourself to be unfiltered and human with.
blood upon the snow unrated, 13k, complete. have you thought about shane getting into fights? great, here's eight chapters of exactly that.
i like jane for you mature, 17k, complete. hayden and ilya accidentally switch phones. they swear to not intrude on each other's privacy. they break that promise within the hour. it works out pretty okay.
ilya rozanov's 2017 dating wrapped teen, 1k, oneshot. ilya drops hints to his team about his relationship via presentation. they don't really catch on.
au mauvais moment mature, 5k, oneshot. shane gets an abortion while he's dating rose. they're pretty okay at handling it. i support the number of abortion fics in this fandom wholeheartedly. he would Not keep that thing.
shane hollander goes casual (he's so cool and unbothered) explicit, 24k, complete. shane has a hoe phase (with spreadsheets). ilya attempts not to explode from jealousy.
never was much of a romantic explicit, 5k, oneshot. hollanov fight over ilya suggesting shane sleep with other people, fuck, and make up. they are aggressively in love, and jealous, and shane has a speech that made me audibly cackle. i already posted about this one but it deserves another mention.
KNOCKOUT! series of (currently) two fics, both complete. explicit, 9k total. hollanov fuck around with pain kink in their reliably unsafe, but definitely fun way. a very loving anthem to masochism and sadism that made me smile in demented glee
logged in gen, 3k, oneshot. shane and ilya reconnect after rose via letterboxed.
vibes are not data teen, 18k, complete. wyatt and ilya's bromance, wyatt's adhd, and pattern recognition getting one over hollanov's secret keeping skills. every relationship in this was so loving and refreshing and i adore it
like one of your girls explicit, 5k, oneshot. shane has a lot of feelings about being another one of ilya's many hookups. some of them aren't nice. a strong dash of internalized homophobia in this one, folks
for a split sec, i was a train wreck explicit, 18k, complete. ilya gets injured, stays at home, gets into tarot, and tries not to spiral into madness. it's mostly a successful endeavor.
dust bowl explicit, 28k, complete. transfem shane, who's been ilya's girl for longer than she's known she's a girl at all. definitely angsty, but by god, am i having feelings about it.
morality clause gen, 13k, complete. canon through yuna's eyes, also dealing with the more technical aspect of being shane's mom-ager.
one sunday morning mature, 8k, oneshot. ilya gets injured. shane shows up to take care of him. neither of them are sure what feelings they're allowed to be having about this. set early in canon.
connecting the dots mature, 7k, oneshot. hayden thinks lily's a dominatrix. surprisingly, this theory does fit in a lot of ways, except for all those other ones where it definitely doesn't.
fuck the news unrated, 3k, oneshot. hollanov gets outed in episode two. they try to survive. reveal fic
(wild and fluorescent) come home (to my heart) unrated, 3k, oneshot. ilya suggests putting down shane like an old dog, but mostly scott hunter. this is a normal conversation to be having with his boyfriend's newly-met mother, surely.
we'll be afraid of nothing teen, 8k, oneshot. ilya calls shane boring all the time, but he's not sure it means the same thing on the ice than off it. more than that: he's pretty sure it means something pretty bad. misunderstandings and a lot of feelings about shane's autism.
the secret society of stick handlers series, ongoing. the gay nhl players have their own groupchat. it's pretty okay, if you don't mind the chaos.
you get me explicit, 10k, oneshot. shane's pretty good at yoga, and plenty flexible- flexible enough that sucking his own cock is more of a possibility than a fantasy, really. ilya's about to make that into a reality.
little more close explicit, 2k, oneshot. cnc. shane wants ilya to do a scene with him. they have a good time.
drive it like you stole it explicit, 12k, oneshot. ilya gets injured and gets horny about it.
edit: here's parts two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve because i'm normal and can be trusted with an ao3 account
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Title: Lady Sebile
By: Zorbo_Jorks
Gift for: Alehalebane
Rating: Teen and Up
Word Count/Medium: 5k words
Warning(s): No Archive Warnings Apply
Creator Notes (Optional):
Summary:
Arthur is once again the target of conniving prince-killers, so Merlin must go in disguise as a woman of the court to stop them before it is carried out (or reaches Uther).
âLady Sebileâ is an awkward excuse for a courtier, and Arthur looks at 'herâ with the oddest and most misplaced interest in his eye: him, and the rest of the men-at-court.
Oh, how is Merlin to get through it?
Oh my GOODNESS that was so cute. You got me dying from the feels out here. I freaking love jealous Arthur. This jealous Arthur isnât the the possessive mine kind but the putulent spoiled child kind and it fits him so well and itâs so well written. I can just imagine him all pouty and petulant. Morgana and Gwen also chefs kiss. Morgana knew what she was doing with this plan. Not gonna lie but Leon was unexpected but a beautiful addition. Everyone in that castle has had a crush on Merlin. Itâs nice to see Leon included in that. And Arthur not wanting Lady Sebile to say I fancy you too but waiting two days for Merlin to do so is aaahhhh. You know? I love it. I love you. Thank you â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
Title: Arthur is Not Panicking
By: BlueGrassSax
Gift for: Alehalebane
Rating: Explicit
Word Count/Medium: 14,406Â wordsÂ
Warning(s): No Active Warnings
Creator Notes (Optional): Written for Alehalebane as part of the 2026 Merthur Glompfest! It was so fun to write and I hope you liked it!
Summary: Arthur finds out Merlin has magic and, in a fit of noble self-sacrifice, decides he must take sole responsibility for keeping his idiot-manservant from being found out. Merlin will tell him in his own time, surely, and until then, no one can know.
This is how I know the fanfic gods love me. I open the link, and I see itâs over 14k, and Iâm like ahhhh. Then I see itâs explicit and Iâm like AHHHH. LORD YOU ARE GOOD TO ME. I love the way that you represent magic as an extension of Merlin. Like the way it just creeps out tendrils is beautiful. It was really well written, like really well. The story itself was also just amazing. When Merlin was talking with Gwen and he thought they were talking about queerness I was like no honey it because everyone know about your magic. Then Morgana had the talk with Arthur, so I was like maybe it was about queerness. Then the last seen I was like maybe it was magic??! You had me going through a rollercoaster, but it was fun. I love how it was so obvious that everyone else knew of Merlinâs magic and thought that Arthur knew too. That was hilarious. This was amazing. You are amazing. I love you. I would give you my first born child for this. Thank you â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Title:Â Princely
By:Â baltimorebelle
Gift for:Â Alehalebane
Rating:Â Teen and Up Audiences
Word Count/Medium:Â 4316
Warning(s):Â No Archive Warnings Apply
Creator Notes (Optional):Â I hope you enjoy this fic, Alehalebane!! Thank you for the prompt.
Summary:Â Arthur is disastrously in love with his magical manservant and refuses to acknowledge it. Seeing this, Uther decides to train Merlin for the duties of a prince consortâwithout his or Arthur's knowledge, of course.
AO3 Link:Â https://archiveofourown.org/works/79985061
My dear lovely baltimorebelle, honey, I freaking love you. This was better than I could have hoped. Everything was so good. From the Ygraine backstory to the Arthur and his idiot manservant trying to keep secrets but they suck at it to Merlin being like âis uther the other side of my coin? God I hope notâ. Then Merlin and uther boding over Arthur being a dollophead. Merlin entering queen mode and Arthurâs jealously being like âget your own manservant then storming out with tears because uther said he was teaching him how to do his future duties and exposing Arthurâs love. Then the moment uther and Merlin had before the wedding ahhhhh. I know Iâm just summarizing at this point but it was just soooo good I canât help remembering all my favorite moments (which was all of them). You are so talented and I love you and thank you for choosing my prompt. You killed me with fluff and humor but itâs ok because it was an enjoyable death.
Here it is, the promised HR fanfiction rec list! As it often happens with my rec lists, it might grow later ;)
all the things he did by HR (blankjournals)
Summary:
4 times Shane was strict with Ilya and the 1 time he wasn't ft Ilya having an emotional crisis over it.
and i spit out the seeds by linearity
Summary:
A video of Shane sucking Ilyaâs dick is leaked. Over the next twenty-four hours, Ilya goes on an odyssey.
at the lonely end of the rink, you and me by vahosi
Summary:
The first time Ilya coughed up a flower, he was kneeling over a toilet in the penthouse of the Fontainebleau Las Vegas, for entirely the wrong fucking reason to be kneeling over a toilet in Vegas.Â
There was no point in trying to pretend it wasnât happening. He wasnât an idiot. Hadnât he seen his own mother waste away, coughing up clumps of clean white chamomile stained shocking scarlet? Hadnât he known, on some level, that he was fated to follow in her footsteps one day, to throw his entire heart and soul into loving a person who would never â could never â love him back?
No, Ilya knew what this was. He also knew heâd never set foot on the ice again if anyone found out.Â
Blindly, he reached for the toilet paper, wiped his mouth, and then flushed the whole thing. Petals, too. He didnât want to know what kind they were. Pizdets. It shouldâve been a fucking maple leaf.Â
â â â â â
the Hanahaki AU, in which Ilya loves Shane Hollanderâs stupid face so much it makes him sick (literally)
be neighborly! by steelknuckles
Summary:
Ilya's new neighbor is annoying. Sucks that he's ridiculously handsome, and good at cooking, and Ilya might be falling in love with him.
Big fish, little fish by penpen_xo
Summary:
Shane had schedules to stick to, regimens to maintain, plays to study, drills to perfect.
He needed to eat the same thing, every day. Train in the best way to keep his mind and body fit by keeping to strict programs. He needed to stick to his plan so that he could ensure that everything also went, wellâŚto plan.
He needed all of these things to fall in place otherwiseâ well he tried not to think too hard about the otherwise. He couldnât let otherwise happen.
Basically heâd treated his body like a fucking temple for majority of his life and had no problems with it yetâ And then he turned 30.
Broken Glass by prinny_a
Summary:
When a visit to his father turns violent, there's only one place Ilya wants to go.
set post-rose breakup and pre-all stars game.
Canon Compliance by ThePromptWasntThisLong (shredded_potato)
Summary:
Ilya discovers RPF. Naturally, he decides the best course of action is to read the filthiest scenes aloud and then meticulously reenact every single one.
Shane is mortified. He is also very, very turned on.
can't rush the dawn before it is time by Wretchedheart
Summary:
It was supposed to be a joke, okay? It was supposed to be funny, and they were all supposed to get a laugh out of it. Despite all of his protests, Hayden had thought he could get Shane to see the humor in it once he gave in. Except the longer Shane decidedly didnât find it funny, the less entertaining it became for Hayden as well.
Hayden hadnât ever actually done a deep-dive into the whole Hollanov internet obsession. He wasnât prepared to have the cornerstone of his worldview be destroyed by a youtube compilation video.
--
The Montreal team watch a Hollanov compilation on youtube, for fun, and realize some things.
NEW careful all the time by Anonymous
Summary:
âI was thinking about the honeymoon phase thing.â
âYes?â Ilya said.
âI think itâs different for us. I donât want us to be all blissful and then only start fighting when weâre back to barely seeing each other. I think itâs good if we figure things out now, when we have the time. Whatever needs figuring out. So we have a solid foundation going into the season. Sort of like training camp.â
âSo this means you will keep getting mad at me for things,â Ilya said.
Shane smiled, rolled his eyes. âYeah, exactly,â he said.
âGood, I find it very hot,â Ilya said, and kissed him.
An insecure over-thinker and a self-destructive secret-keeper walk into a relationship.
clear to a hedgehog by magneticwave
Summary:
Every Boston Raider knows that although their captain has a girl in every port, heâs got a soft spot for the one in Montreal. Dr. Shane Hollander knows itâs better to have a semi-regular source of casual sex than try to make a relationship work during residency. Ilya Rozanov knows that the doctor heâs fucking in Montreal is unaware that he plays hockey, and in fact probably thinks heâs Bratva.
Concussion Protocol by cjr2
Summary:
Instead of Shane, it is Ilya who suffers a concussion during the Boston-Montreal game in April 2017. Dazed and agitated, Ilya briefly starts speaking and responding only in Russian and the medics canât calm him down. Luckily, Shane started studying Russian after Ilya spoke to him in Russian on the phone from Moscow. For no particular reason. Certainly not because heâs fallen in love with Ilya Rozanov.
In Montreal with lingering concussion symptoms, Ilya is advised not to fly home for a few days, and the hospital wonât release him without assurances that he has someone to stay with him until his symptoms improve. Luckily, Shane conveniently has a condo in Montreal no one knows about and a few days before he has to travel again.
But Ilyaâs symptoms donât resolve after a few days. Which is okay; Shane can handle it. He can take care of Ilya, study Russian, lead his team into the playoffs, and keep Ilyaâs continued presence in Montreal a secret. He can do everything, no problem. He is Shane Hollander after all.
or
A whump fanfiction that is secretly a fix-it.
Detained by FestiveFerret
Summary:
"Did you see what happened to Rozanov after the game?"
Shane's head snapped up and he lost his rhythm on the rowing machine. He slowed to a stop so he wouldn't hit himself in the face. One of the weight benches exploding wouldn't be enough to pull his attention away from his teammates' conversation.
"No, what happened?"
"Dude got fucking arrested."
NEW Dig Two Graves by devovitsuasartes
Summary:
Thereâs no humor in Shaneâs voice. Itâs cold, hard, determined. âWhen we meet them on the ice next season, I want to fucking destroy them.â
After a moment, he feels Ilya nod thoughtfully behind him.
âIs good plan. Letâs fucking destroy them.â
The Montreal Voyageurs won't stop slinging mud at Shane in the press, so Shane and Ilya decide to get revenge the best way they know how.
NEW enforcer by @moonlitsgarden
Summary:
Ilya knows there is a thing about himself he has to always keep hidden in the deepest recesses of his body, behind his molars and in his core. He thinks Shane Hollander might be the same, except the thing about him he cannot hide.
Ilya Rozanov is the biggest hockey talent of his generation. So is Shane Hollander.
But over the years Ilya notices that the vicious media and the clamouring fans and some of his more foul-mouthed teammates treat Hollander differently than any other hockey player.
everything that kills me (makes me feel alive) by asocialconstruct
Summary:
The photo is blurry, timestamped 2:17 AM, but there's no mistaking Ilya Rozanov walking into Shane Hollander's building the night Boston wins in Montreal.
By morning, it's everywhere.
--
For five years, they've been careful. But one fan with a camera phone unravels it all, and suddenly Shane and Ilya have to answer questions about what they are besides rivals. Shane's team wants him to deny everything. Ilya's family demands the same.
Canon divergence where the secret comes out three years early, and Shane and Ilya have to decide if what they have is real under intense media pressure. Set right before the tuna melt game would have happened.
from the cold by stammiviktor
Summary:
Itâs winter in Ottawa and Ilya has hunkered down in his big, empty mansion to weather a nasty flu. Then his phone buzzes.
â Guardian⢠Security Alert: Movement detected at front door
â (1) Missed Call: Yuna Hollander
Or: The Hollanders have a new son to take care of. Ilya has no idea whatâs going on.
Gold Rush by joannabobanna
Summary:
Itâs usually on nights like tonight, when sleep evades him, that the worry starts to creep in.
Because what about a year from now when the Centaurs have just barely eked through another season with the barest handful of wins and the Voyageurs have won themselves yet another cup? Or in three years from now, when Shane is closer to his forties than his twenties, and he realizes that his entire list of carefree, youthful romps with his preferred gender is made up of one nervous fumble with Mexico top and Hollywood blowjob guy each and then all the years with Ilya?
And somehow, somewhere between the inky darkness of Ilyaâs sleepless night and the bright, early morning trip back home to Ottawa, Ilya resolves to propose...an arrangement.
Because what did it matter if Shane had meaningless sex with other men as long Ilya held his heart, right? And if it preserved Shaneâs happiness in the long termâŚif it kept the already delicate Jenga tower of factors that dictated their relationship from finally toppling overâŚthen it was the obvious choice.
Right?
Or the one where Ilya proposes opening up their relationship: a deep dive on that one scene in chapter twenty-one of the The Long Game.
Holding Patterns by thecouchsofa
Summary:
âDo you want to know how it feels?â
Shane let his hand fall back to the couch. He pushed himself up onto his elbows and lifted a brow at Rozanov. âWhat â holding the Cup? Youâve already made that joke once.â
âNo.â Rozanovâs fingers encircled Shaneâs wrist and then he was pulling Shaneâs hand between his legs.
Or: Shane tops.
i can take a little bit more by bee_slut
Summary:
It starts out like a good night would. Shane pressing him against their bedroom wall, kissing alongside his jaw and his neck, itâs usually an indicator of when a good time is about to turn even better.
Except.
Today has beenâŚoff.
Ilya Rozanov vs. Canadian Vocabulary by Honeybees_n_flowers
Summary:
âYou named your coin after the stupid wolf bird?â
âI didn't. The country did, I guess. I don't know, I never really thought about it.â He paused for a second, then smirked. âA two dollar coin is called a toonie.â
Or: Four times Ilya Rozanov thought a Canadian word was stupid, and one time he was on Canada's side.
i see you, i know you, i love you by allapologies
Summary:
"Whose dick was Hollander gonna fuck her with anyway?â O'Connell says.
âWhatâd you mean?â the other guy asks.
âAsian dick, man.â OâConnell pinches his forefinger and thumb together. âNo fucking chance that thing is big enough.â
Is plenty big, Ilya nearly says, before catching the tip of his tongue between his teeth.
is it the same for you? by notwritinganovel
Summary:
Shane releases what feels like his first exhale in foreverâIlya Rozanov, taken out by the common flu. Not ignoring him. Not ending anything. Still, the knot in his chest doesnât ease completely with the vision of Ilya unwell and alone in Shaneâs head.
JANE
Are you at your house?
LILY
Where else, Jane?
JANE
Donât fall asleep. Iâll be there soon.Â
LILY
No, am sick. I told you.Â
JANE
I heard you. Iâll be there soon.
Or, Ilyaâs sick and Shane wants, and wants, and wants.
NEW Learning Curve by AutumnFoxed
Summary:
The first thing Ilyaâs brain processed was the text in the search bar.
normal amount of touching while watching a movie
how to initiate intimacy without being awkward
is asking âis this okayâ too much
Shane accidentally leaves his laptop open. Ilya discovers an extensive Google search history on how to be a good boyfriend.
Ilya conducts a very thorough performance review.
Little More Close by maplesalad
Summary:
âOkay. You want to say no, you want to fight me. Pretty boy, all alone in his glass house. You want me to force you?â
He didnât need Shane to answer, really; Shane was fully hard against Ilyaâs thigh and pink under his freckles. But it was best to be direct about these things. And he wanted to hear Shane say it, anyway.
âIâyeah. Make me. Is that too weird?â
The Long Way Home by kooksie
Summary:
Shane canât stand his college roommate and teammate, Ilya Rozanov. Canât stand his arrogance and his messiness and his constant sleeping around.
But then the entire team, Shane included, welcomes their families to campus for Parents Weekend.
And Shane also canât stand that Ilya is alone.
loving this body by beetlesandstars, kryptonian
Summary:
Ilya picks up on the third ring, breathing heavily into the phone. Shane hears a door slam shut through the device. âDo not yell at me.âÂ
Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. âYou suck.â
âI suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.âÂ
âRozanovââÂ
âYour mother has called twenty times. Your manager has called thirty times. Your father text me picture of crossword puzzle and ask for help. Clue is about American President from the 1980s. I cannot help!â
OR: the hollanov bodyswap fic.Â
the lucky one by beetlesandstars
Summary:
Tomorrow, he'll call Shane and apologise. He'll fix what he broke. He doesn't want Shane to be angry at him anymore.Â
He doesnât remember swerving to avoid a merging truck.Â
He also doesnât remember hitting the tree.
Or: Ilya gets into a car accident. Shane is there to pick up the pieces.
magnolia & heartache by magicjohnson
Summary:
âWhen did you start feeling like this? Did it come out of nowhere or you think something happened?â she asks.
âIt started in Detroit in December, last year. I do not remember it from games in Vancouver and Edmonton before that.â
âDo anything out of the ordinary then?â
âNo, I do notââ he comes to a complete stop, and Ash walks ahead of him for a few steps before turning.
âWhat? What is it?â
The picture swirls in front of him like vibrant water colours splashing on a canvas. Cliff beckons him over to where he and Victor are perched on their bikes, and Victor holds his phone out to him. The headline is clear: Is Rose Landry dating MLH star Shane Hollander?
A pit forms in Ilyaâs stomach, cramping uncomfortably as if carved with a rusted knife, and distantly he recalls feeling the same way back in December.
There is no fucking way thatâs been the problem.
or, hot off the press from my tl after episode 4: âilya is the first alpha to go through rejection sicknessâ
morality clause by canadadry
Summary:
Morals Clause: A contract provision that may be used in endorsement, spokesperson, and similar agreements to give the advertiser the right to terminate the deal, seek damages, or remove branding if the individual engages in actions bringing disrepute, scandal, or negative attention, protecting the brand's image and financial interests.
Yuna does her researchâapparently, a morals clause is common, in contracts like this.
It bothers her, a little, how vague it is, but ultimately, she doesnât see an issue with itâat least, not really.
Shane is many things, and she is so, so excited to see how much more he becomes⌠but, for all of the many things she imagines in his future, she doesn't think he's capable of doing anything that could be accurately described as scandalous.
She's wrong.
no one noticed by residentrookie
Summary:
It's the night of the Boston vs Montreal game, and Shane Hollander isn't letting whatever illness he's contracted stop him from getting out on the ice, no matter how sick he actually is. Ilya Rozanov, it seems, is the only person who notices.
Whatever that means.
Off day by mareastralis
Summary:
Ilya knows he has to get up, soon, but he doesn't feel up to the task today. Shane notices.
The only one who's getting me (Don't call me, just text me) by gossipdaddy
Summary:
Drunk Ilya decides to call Shane.
Our Captain, Their Problem by Bruja_oscura
Summary:
Ilya Rozanov has a "tiny car accident" (his words). Shane Hollander has a full-scale, system-shutdown panic attack about it. Meanwhile, a horrified Hayden is praying for someone to throw him in a lake and tell him that this is all just a big joke, or maybe for a meteor strike; he is really not picky. J.J., on the other hand, is trying to bleach the image of his sweet captain making out with Ilya fucking Rozanov from his brain.
It's a very normal day for the Montreal Canadiens.
NEW Pike Children to the Rescue by Skaboom
Summary:
When Hayden misinterprets Shane having a panic attack on the phone, he decides that nothing could help Shane calm down cheer up like a surprise visit from his best friend and four very adorable, very loud children.
or
Hayden thinks Shane is having a panic attack during their phone call while Ilya is blowing him, and proceeds to drag his children to the cottage to surprise Shane, only to find Ilya Rozanov is already there. Hayden finds out about them, and has to reconcile his hate for Ilya with his affinity for his best friend.
please leave a message by Ravenesta
Summary:
Sarah
Does anyone have the number for Shane's girl from Boston? I feel bad that they've been seeing each other for this long and we've never added her here.
Jackie
Oh good point! Let me ask Hayden.
Jackie has added Lily to the conversation
Lily
what
what is this
Or: Ilya Rozanov is, apparently, one of the girls.
r/OmegaHelpDesk: Nesting Advice Needed by inexpiate
Summary:
r/OmegaHelpDesk:
Nesting Advice Needed
u/gingerale_slick24: How do I ask my alpha for his clothes without sounding needy? Iâm nesting. Pre-heat is kicking my ass. Burner account because he found my main. Fucking asshole.
Shane Hollander's Reddit History by leaveittome
Summary:
r/Bottoms
First Time BottomingâŚ
Shane_Hollander24: 7 years ago
shaneswood: 2 days ago
ur telling me shane hollander has been on reddit this whole time talking about bottoming and we only JUST found out?
a simple case of mistaken identity by LiarsandThieves22
Summary:
"What could Hollander possibly need with Boston social media lady?â Rozanov asked.
âShaneâs in love with her,â Hayden said.
Rozanovâs face did something very weird.
--
Or: after becoming a bit obsessed with solving the Mystery of Boston Lily, Hayden thinks he finally has it figured out. She must work for the Boston Raiders. Now all he has to do is find her next time he's in Boston and tell her that her and Shane shouldn't have to hide their relationship.
Problem is, the only person he can find is Ilya Rozanov, and Rozanov is being a real dick about the whole thing.
something you can fix by some1_around
Summary:
Maybe if the video ended there, Shane thought, it would be okay. Okayish. Still incriminating. Still a fucking disaster. Still embarrassing, to have his breakup with this beautiful actress filmed and disseminated on Reddit of all fucking places, but not a nail in his coffin, burying him alive. But the video didnât end there.
âCan I ask if youâve ever been with another guy?â she had to ask.
And he, tears visible in his eyes, had to nod.
Just once. Just a single nod.
Why did he have to nod?
âHave you ever told anyone that before?â He shook his head. âWas it different? With a guy?â
âOf course.â
Of course.
âWas it better?â
âYes.â
+++
Shaneâs conversation with Rose is secretly recorded. Months later, after the All-Star game and Ilyaâs confession in Russian, the video gets leaked online. Shane is outed to the world while Ilya is in Russia, and must now finish the 2016-2017 season with the entire world in on his secret.
the soviet montage by pressuretoparty
Summary:
"You have to come to the locker room. Now."
Shane frowns. Holds up his notebook. "I'm busy."
"Forget that, man. It's all over the news. Ilya Rozanov has just defected from the Soviet Union."
Red Army superstar Ilya Rozanov defects from the Soviet Union. A Cold War-era hockey au
spectrum by Adrenochrome
Summary:
A study on how Shane Hollander exhibits signs of autism.
or;
Five times Ilya didn't pick up on the signs and one time he did.
Strip It Down by inexplicablymine
Summary:
Ilya canât believe his eyes. There is a huge twenty-foot-tall photo of hisâ of Shane Hollander in a pair of Calvin Klein briefs giving the camera his âcome fuck meâ look.
Or, Shane does a Calvin Klein campaign, Ilya has feelings about it.
they say it's my fault but I want (him) so much by HR (blankjournals)
Summary:
He needs to move, maybe get Rozanovâs attention before he loses his nerves.
And then the room tilts. His vision narrows, red light smearing into pink and white streaks. Shane staggers. The beer slips from his fingers. It shatters, foam splashing his shoes, glass skittering away. His knees give out like someone kicked him, and his hands shoot forward to hold himself upright.
His left palm lands in broken glass, though he doesn't feel it. What he notices is the certainty that everyone sees, that they can smell himâsomething sour and wrong. His scent, despite patches and care, has turned exposed.
OR: What if we took the club scene from episode 4 and had Shane collapse from experiencing Omega Rejection Syndrome after seeing Ilya dancing with someone else?
Til They Retire Your Number by technicallyverycowboy
Summary:
They lapse back into a comfortable silence. Shane looks at Ilya as he is and thinks about Ilya as he was at seventeen, smoking in the back of a Saskatchewan parking lot. The image is almost unbearably tender for Shane, where his own seventeen year old thrill at seeing Ilya Rozanov meets all the things Shane knows about that lonely boy now.
Shane thinks: Do you love number 81 more than you love this man?
"Hey," Ilya says, brushing his knuckles over Shane's cheek. "Whatever I do, I will be there when you come home."
Ilya decides to retire. Shane is very normal about it.
u might want to get tested by toomuchplor
Summary:
Lily: U might want to get tested
Jane: Hilarious. Fuck you.
===
Set in the liminal situationship timeline between episodes 3 and 4.
United Front by kooksie
Summary:
After Russia crashes and burns at the Olympics, six months pass where Ilya cuts Shane out completely, refusing to answer his texts. So when they both get booked for yet another ad campaign, Shane arrives on set with a strict plan to ignore Ilya entirely.
But then he learns the premise of the entire campaign: making fun of Ilyaâs English.
It will take a lot for Shane to forgive him, sure. It wonât take nearly as much for Shane to stand up for him.
NEW we'll be afraid of nothing by satorussuguru
Summary:
âGame is over,â he says. âYou won. I lost. I was annoying. Normal.â
âThatâs notââ Shane starts, then stops, because he actually doesn't know how to finish that thought without sounding like an idiot. His jaw works, teeth grinding together.
That's not what I meant. That's not the point. You said I was boring and you were right and I need you to say it again so I know where I stand, so I know what you think of me, so I can stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.
He settles for: âYou were kind of an asshole.â
Well, That Happened by Franks22
Summary:
âJesus Christ.â Shane says with feeling.
âMm, Jesus Christ.â Ilya Rozanovâs voice pipes up behind him.
âOh god.â Shane says with feeling.
âYes. Oh god.â Ilya Rozanovâs voice pipes up from behind him.
âOh shit. Holy fucking shit.â Shane says, swaying a little where he stands. âAm I dying?â
âPretty sure is panic attack. Place head between knees.â
It was placing his head between knees that got them into this predicament in the first place.
Or
How far can Shane spiral after accidentally bonding with his hockey rival?
Apparently, quite a bit.
white collar crimes by Anonymous
Summary:
So Shane Hollander is, how do you say in English, a dirty little thief. A clothing thief, to be precise. Ilya can't say he saw that coming, but he also can't pretend he's all that mad about it.
His shirt looks good on his Shane. On Shane. On Hollander.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Iâve said âI hate thisâ so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because âI hate thisâ is just shorthand for âthis is an example of a meme given a twist I wasnât expecting with intent to surpriseâ. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.
But this⌠This is something else.
The rapidity of a memeâs introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, youâll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. Itâll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeareâs jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.
For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?
it is a YMCA reference - thatâs one of the 6 memes being represented here
ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)
this first lyric replacement (âtake the breadsticks and runâ) is a reference to the tumblr meme âstuffing breadsticks into my purseâ. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. thatâs meme two (2)
âman door hand hook car doorâ is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic âstuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill usâ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)
âgunâ is⌠yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to âman door hand hook car doorâ for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)
and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)
which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)
(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think iâve ever seen. the initial âyoung manâ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme âgunâ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)
it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpgâs format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000âs rage comics
âYouâre in your 30s, but you still understand all this meme stuff?â
âOh yeah, sure.â
âCan you explain it to me?â
âI absolutely fucking cannot.â
Iâm not reblogging this because I want to. Iâm reblogging this because sometimes youâre a witness to history whether you want to be or not, and you have to embrace that.Â
Ok but I need someone who can actually make a meme to add on but do the Thor ragnorak meme where tumble is Hela and sheâs like you canât defeat me and Thor is that first original plane white meme and he says I know but he can and the fire guy is the most recent one. Thanks
âWhy do you keep running? Why wonât you just let me love you?!â
âBECAUSE I CANT LOVE YOU! But you make it so goddamn hard to let go. Not loving for you is like walking a tightrope. One wrong step and I am gone, but I donât know if youâll be there to catch me if I should fall.â
âBut Draco I will. Iâm waiting for you so I can catch you with open arms and never let go. Just trust me.â
âHow can I trust you Potter when you havenât given me a reason given you history.â
âThat was only cause they werenât you. But you, youâve always been different. Weâve always been different. So, please, Draco, take my hand, and weâll take the leap together. I promise that I won't let you cry.â
I love that the modern-day tumblr post equivalent of chain emails only requires me to reblog a relatively pleasant image instead of forward an email to a bunch of my friends and family members to quell my raging anxiety.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
So Iâm listening to Odysseus and the part where ody goes âyou donât think I know my own palace? I built itâ and I was just imagining Odysseus sneaking in the dark but then tripping over a table or something being like âhuh that wasnât there before.â Do we honestly think the palace hasnât changed or been redecorated in 20 years. Secret tunnels and the general layout I get but you donât think there would be some vases or tables added or changed in 2 decades.
Classic Bookshelf: This site has put classic novels online, from Charles Dickens to Charlotte Bronte.
The Online Books Page: The University of Pennsylvania hosts this book search and database.
Project Gutenberg: This famous site has over 27,000 free books online.
Page by Page Books: Find books by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and H.G. Wells, as well as speeches from George W. Bush on this site.
Classic Book Library: Genres here include historical fiction, history, science fiction, mystery, romance and childrenâs literature, but theyâre all classics.
Classic Reader: Here you can read Shakespeare, young adult fiction and more.
Read Print: From George Orwell to Alexandre Dumas to George Eliot to Charles Darwin, this online library is stocked with the best classics.
Planet eBook: Download free classic literature titles here, from Dostoevsky to D.H. Lawrence to Joseph Conrad.
The Spectator Project: Montclair State Universityâs project features full-text, online versions of The Spectator and The Tatler.
Bibliomania: This site has more than 2,000 classic texts, plus study guides and reference books.
Online Library of Literature: Find full and unabridged texts of classic literature, including the Bronte sisters, Mark Twain and more.
Bartleby: Bartleby has much more than just the classics, but its collection of anthologies and other important novels made it famous.
Fiction.us: Fiction.us has a huge selection of novels, including works by Lewis Carroll, Willa Cather, Sherwood Anderson, Flaubert, George Eliot, F. Scott Fitzgerald and others.
Free Classic Literature: Find British authors like Shakespeare and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, plus other authors like Jules Verne, Mark Twain, and more.
TEXTBOOKS
Textbook Revolution: Find biology, business, engineering, mathematics and world history textbooks here.
Wikibooks: From cookbooks to the computing department, find instructional and educational materials here.
KnowThis Free Online Textbooks: Get directed to stats textbooks and more.
Online Medical Textbooks: Find books about plastic surgery, anatomy and more here.
Online Science and Math Textbooks: Access biochemistry, chemistry, aeronautics, medical manuals and other textbooks here.
MIT Open Courseware Supplemental Resources: Find free videos, textbooks and more on the subjects of mechanical engineering, mathematics, chemistry and more.
Flat World Knowledge: This innovative site has created an open college textbooks platform that will launch in January 2009.
Free Business Textbooks: Find free books to go along with accounting, economics and other business classes.
Light and Matter: Here you can access open source physics textbooks.
eMedicine: This project from WebMD is continuously updated and has articles and references on surgery, pediatrics and more.
MATH AND SCIENCE
FullBooks.com: This site has âthousands of full-text free books,â including a large amount of scientific essays and books.
Free online textbooks, lecture notes, tutorials and videos on mathematics: NYU links to several free resources for math students.
Online Mathematics Texts: Here you can find online textbooks likeElementary Linear Algebra and Complex Variables.
Science and Engineering Books for free download: These books range in topics from nanotechnology to compressible flow.
FreeScience.info: Find over 1800 math, engineering and science books here.
Free Tech Books: Computer programmers and computer science enthusiasts can find helpful books here.
CHILDRENâS BOOKS
byGosh: Find free illustrated childrenâs books and stories here.
Munseys: Munseys has nearly 2,000 childrenâs titles, plus books about religion, biographies and more.
International Childrenâs Digital Library: Find award-winning books and search by categories like age group, make believe books, true books or picture books.
Bored.com: Bored.com has music ebooks, cooking ebooks, and over 150 philosophy titles and over 1,000 religion titles.
Ideology.us: Here youâll find works by Rene Descartes, Sigmund Freud, Karl Marx, David Hume and others.
Free Books on Yoga, Religion and Philosophy: Recent uploads to this site include Practical Lessons in Yoga and Philosophy of Dreams.
The Sociology of Religion: Read this book by Max Weber, here.
Religion eBooks: Read books about the Bible, Christian books, and more.
PLAYS
ReadBookOnline.net: Here you can read plays by Chekhov, Thomas Hardy, Ben Jonson, Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe and others.
Plays: Read Pygmalion, Uncle Vanya or The Playboy of the Western World here.
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare: MIT has made available all of Shakespeareâs comedies, tragedies, and histories.
Plays Online: This site catalogs âall the plays [they] know about that are available in full text versions online for free.â
ProPlay: This site has childrenâs plays, comedies, dramas and musicals.
MODERN FICTION, FANTASY AND ROMANCE
Public Bookshelf: Find romance novels, mysteries and more.
The Internet Book Database of Fiction: This forum features fantasy and graphic novels, anime, J.K. Rowling and more.
Free Online Novels: Here you can find Christian novels, fantasy and graphic novels, adventure books, horror books and more.
Foxglove: This British site has free novels, satire and short stories.
Baen Free Library: Find books by Scott Gier, Keith Laumer and others.
The Road to Romance: This website has books by Patricia Cornwell and other romance novelists.
Get Free Ebooks: This siteâs largest collection includes fiction books.
John T. Cullen: Read short stories from John T. Cullen here.
SF and Fantasy Books Online: Books here include Arabian Nights,Aesopâs Fables and more.
Free Novels Online and Free Online Cyber-Books: This list contains mostly fantasy books.
FOREIGN LANGUAGE
Project Laurens Jz Coster: Find Dutch literature here.
ATHENA Textes Francais: Search by authorâs name, French books, or books written by other authors but translated into French.
Liber Liber: Download Italian books here. Browse by author, title, or subject.
Biblioteca romaneasca: Find Romanian books on this site.
Bibliolteca Virtual Miguel de Cervantes: Look up authors to find a catalog of their available works on this Spanish site.
KEIMENA: This page is entirely in Greek, but if youâre looking for modern Greek literature, this is the place to access books online.
Proyecto Cervantes: Texas A&Mâs Proyecto Cervantes has cataloged Cervantesâ work online.
Corpus Scriptorum Latinorum: Access many Latin texts here.
Project Runeberg: Find Scandinavian literature online here.
Italian Women Writers: This site provides information about Italian women authors and features full-text titles too.
Biblioteca Valenciana: Register to use this database of Catalan and Valencian books.
Ketab Farsi: Access literature and publications in Farsi from this site.
Afghanistan Digital Library: Powered by NYU, the Afghanistan Digital Library has works published between 1870 and 1930.
CELT: CELT stands for âthe Corpus of Electronic Textsâ features important historical literature and documents.
Projekt Gutenberg-DE: This easy-to-use database of German language texts lets you search by genres and author.
HISTORY AND CULTURE
LibriVox: LibriVox has a good selection of historical fiction.
The Perseus Project: Tuftsâ Perseus Digital Library features titles from Ancient Rome and Greece, published in English and original languages.
Access Genealogy: Find literature about Native American history, the Scotch-Irish immigration in the 19th and 20th centuries, and more.
Free History Books: This collection features U.S. history books, including works by Paul Jennings, Sarah Morgan Dawson, Josiah Quincy and others.
Most Popular History Books: Free titles include Seven Days and Seven Nights by Alexander Szegedy and Autobiography of a Female Slave by Martha G. Browne.
RARE BOOKS
Questia: Questia has 5,000 books available for free, including rare books and classics.
ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT
Books-On-Line: This large collection includes movie scripts, newer works, cookbooks and more.
Chest of Books: This site has a wide range of free books, including gardening and cooking books, home improvement books, craft and hobby books, art books and more.
Free e-Books: Find titles related to beauty and fashion, games, health, drama and more.
2020ok: Categories here include art, graphic design, performing arts, ethnic and national, careers, business and a lot more.
Free Art Books: Find artist books and art books in PDF format here.
Free Web design books: OnlineComputerBooks.com directs you to free web design books.
Free Music Books: Find sheet music, lyrics and books about music here.
Free Fashion Books: Costume and fashion books are linked to the Google Books page.
MYSTERY
MysteryNet: Read free short mystery stories on this site.
TopMystery.com: Read books by Edgar Allan Poe, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, GK Chesterton and other mystery writers here.
Mystery Books: Read books by Sue Grafton and others.
POETRY
The Literature Network: This site features forums, a copy of The King James Bible, and over 3,000 short stories and poems.
Poetry: This list includes âThe Raven,â âO Captain! My Captain!â and âThe Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde.â
Poem Hunter: Find free poems, lyrics and quotations on this site.
Famous Poetry Online: Read limericks, love poetry, and poems by Robert Browning, Emily Dickinson, John Donne, Lord Byron and others.
Google Poetry: Google Books has a large selection of poetry, fromThe Canterbury Tales to Beowulf to Walt Whitman.
QuotesandPoem.com: Read poems by Maya Angelou, William Blake, Sylvia Plath and more.
CompleteClassics.com: Rudyard Kipling, Allen Ginsberg and Alfred Lord Tennyson are all featured here.
PinkPoem.com: On this site, you can download free poetry ebooks.
MISC
Banned Books: Here you can follow links of banned books to their full text online.
World eBook Library: This monstrous collection includes classics, encyclopedias, childrenâs books and a lot more.
DailyLit: DailyLit has everything from Moby Dick to the recent phenomenon, Skinny Bitch.
A Celebration of Women Writers: The University of Pennsylvaniaâs page for women writers includes Newbery winners.
Free Online Novels: These novels are fully online and range from romance to religious fiction to historical fiction.
ManyBooks.net: Download mysteries and other books for your iPhone or eBook reader here.
Authorama: Books here are pulled from Google Books and more. Youâll find history books, novels and more.
Prize-winning books online: Use this directory to connect to full-text copies of Newbery winners, Nobel Prize winners and Pulitzer winners.
