cause god knows i fall in love just a little, oh,

some of the men y’all call daddy are dude at best

men really be like “well this woman has studied this subject her whole life, and i am a man, so we have equal knowledge on this”

it’s ok you could have just said “i hate men”

okay, i hate men

i love the “hollanov has a crush on carter vaughn” take not necessarily in a “i think they would invite him to watch” way but more in a “ilya would accidentally let it slip while chirping at shane to fluster him that vaughn is at the top of their ‘would’ list and vaughn is a little thrown off and straight so he’s like “are you guys asking?” and ilya laughs and pats his shoulder and assures him “absolutely not, i do not share my shane, we just think you are good looking man, i like that you are pretty and fun and my shane likes that you are serious about hockey and have good grooming habits. is not serious, do not worry vaughny we will not be asking you to witness me and my beautiful husband ever” and vaughn low key is overjoyed about it, his teammates who are around and hear the exchange are sometimes like “that doesnt bother you? you dont find that a bit weird?” but vaugh genuinely is just like “rozanov just called me pretty and fun enough to hang out with and hollander thinks im good at hockey and clean enough for him, you could hand me a nobel peace prize and it wouldnt come close to this achievement” and eventually it gets out to the general public so vaughn is captioning his instagram posts shit like “#1 contender for being the hockey husbands third goes fishing” despite shanes mortification about this getting out and vaughns clear delight with it” way

ANOTHER cis guy with the power to joke about trans-ness.

#an innovative new twist on healing cock?

Starting a new sports team called the Tampa Bay Trespassers and they play any sport that they can break onto the field of

yeah joe mama is fun and all, but have y’all ever heard about a henway?

what’s a henway?

People die on the job every summer. Remember that water and shade breaks are crucial when working in the heat, and calling emergency services for signs of serious heat illness (fatigue, nausea/vomiting, headaches, dizziness, clammy skin, confusion, agitation, slurred speech, high body temperature, rapid heart rate, etc.) is entirely appropriate. If you’re afraid to call 911 for reasons such as being undocumented, you’ll need to get very familiar with how to prevent, recognize, and treat heat illness. If you are symptomatic and not allowed a break, water, or medical treatment, walk out. No matter how broke you are, your job is not worth your life.

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

ily three. it doesn't know how to mask or code switch and it doesn't really care to learn. its favorite thing to do is listen to science lectures from omniscient egomaniacs and this has accidentally made it PSUMNT's new hot popular girl (gender neutral) for all the advanced machine intelligences. it knows exactly what it wants from the word go and what it wants is to do a really really good job helping other secunits in perilous situations. it's excruciatingly bad at waving at people. it likes sightseeing. it jumpstarts a construct revolution the first chance it gets because why wouldn't it? all the constructs we know it's met have helped it and been its friends. also its name is three.

@enchantingruinscandy

it likes documentaries! and science! and lectures! and its so awkward around people! and its name is three!

Sofi: We are gonna steal an airship! Murderbot: No we are going to steal a tourist attraction 4 hours into flying the Weenie Hut Jr Rainbow Wimsey Sightseeing Flying Bumper-car Hostiles: Never fear we heard your distress call! Murderbot: OK now we are going to steal an airship