t-shirt with the words “high-functioning corpse” printed on it

i'm sorry i didn't respond to your DM for 23 days. the number on the notification icon got really big and i began having irrational anxious thoughts such as "what if people are in there trying to contact me"

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

imposter syndrome is so funny like fuuuuck i hope nobody finds out im tricking people into thinking im competent by knowing things and doing them

murder suicide is awesome to me bc its like annnnnd im coming with you

sources say there are muscles in the back of my neck. and they want to kill me

unfortunately it appears that i'm some kind of insane person

"What were you doing at the devils sacrament" jarking my whole thing off. Next quiestuon.

lol yeah go ahead try and attack me *notices i left my dragon scale talisman of immortality at home* or maybe lets not be too hasty

being insane isnt even that bad

I like when you click a link and it turns purple its like youre bruising it

bodies should have crash logs. why the fuck did that just happen.

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit