“start your free trial now” what if i told u i am already experiencing trials. and the cost is more than i can bear

some of yall didnt go insane at 15 and it shows

(writes something) god this sucks so bad. this is awful. i'm the worst writer ever. this is nothing. (rereads it a while after writing it) oh dude this is fire. i'm the god of writing. (writes something again) god this sucks so bad. th

this video is CUTE, the animal is clearly in distress but it is a vile creature unloved by any god and we are correct to derive pleasure and satisfaction from its misery

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

everyone in the grocery store is my enemy

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

I intend to pour resin over everything so nothing ever changes again

forgot to leave a note for my doordasher to bring a blunt weapon to get past the catacomb skeletons so congrats to whichever necromancer is about to get my banh mi i guess

this lamb keeps trying to sacrifice itself even though no one really needs or wants it to do that

Is that a swarm of locust in your pants or are your dick and balls just heralding the end of days

I’m giving the ants full reign of the house while your father and I are gone, so be on your best behavior.