local bitchy shane enthusiast

They Said I Would Never Do Another One..............

Too much wine has been consumed between the four of them. An unknown amount.

“Y’know…” Svetlana starts

“Oh here we go.” Ilya cuts in.

“Shut up, Ilyushka”

“No, you shut up.”

“No you.”

“No yo—”

“Okay children, enough.” Rose giggles, wiggling her toes up at Sveta who swats at them.

“What I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted, is, I think it is funny, everyone in this room has kissed each other.”

Shane frowns “We’ve never kissed. And Rose and Ilya haven’t kissed”

Suddenly, a pillow comes flying through the air directly at Svetlana’s head—“Stop trying to kiss my husband!”

Sveta shrieks and manages to dodge it. She looks at him like an angry sister “Why do you get Shane Hollander all to yourself huh? Is not fair Ilyushka is like when you stole Greta from me in fifth grade.”

“I did not steal! Is not my fault everyone wants me.”

Shane looks between them “Whose Greta?”

“Nobody” Ilya says.

“My first crush! Ilya knew I liked her and kissed her on the swings at recess anyway.”

Shane’s mouth drops open in feign shock “Ilya, you did not!”

“He did! And now, now, Shane, now he steals you from me.”

Shane is smiling so big his face hurts. Rose looks as amused at the weird best friend antics.

“What are you talking about crazy lady!” Ilya is yelling.

“I said Shane was hot! When you got drafted! I said I was going to be with him!”

Ilya rolls his eyes and drops his head back against the couch groaning, “Ughhh how can I keep up with everyone you have crush on, Sveta, is everyday with you, our whole lives.”

Sveta gasps.

“Is true.” Ilya says.

“Is true.” Sveta mimics.

“Shane is gay.” Ilya says.

“Yes but Rose got to fuck him! Why not me!”

“Trust me, baby, you don’t want that heat.” Rose says over the rim of her glass.

“Hey!” Shane exclaims this time, “I said I was sorry!”

“Yeah yeah” Rose is waving him off. “I’ll make you feel better than Shane Hollander ever could.” She winks at Sveta.

the face of a boy who’s going to SQUEE as soon as he’s out of view

2015

"You good, buddy?"

Shane looks up from his dinner. Hayden is looking back at him, and so is the drooling baby in his lap. Shane can't remember if it's Ruby or Jade, but Jackie just went off to the kitchen with the other one on her arm to warm up their bottles.

"Yeah, sure," Shane answers belatedly. "Why?"

"You've been really quiet tonight. Actually, you've been off since All Stars."

Shane has been feeling off, but he thought he was hiding it well. The weekend had been intense, even more than it usually is with Rozanov, and his head is still reeling from it. He's a little bit embarrassed about the way he acted; too eager, too needy. By the end of the weekend, he had a difficult time reminding himself it was just sex. It felt like... more.

Brian hasn't noticed, at least. Or if he has, he hasn't said anything.

"I'm fine. Just tired, I guess."

Hayden doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't push. It's one of the things that make him so easy to be friends with. He'll ask after Shane, try to set him up on dates, but he never pushes after the first no.

Sometimes Shane wishes he would, a little bit. It's not like he could tell Hayden anything, but if Hayden pushed, if he made Shane talk, it would at least release some of the pressure. It wouldn't be worth the fallout but it would at least be some kind of relief.

It used to be enough that he could talk to Brian (at least when Brian wasn't mad at him) but now, there are things Shane can't even tell him. Things he can't tell anyone, and they're building up, the dam inside his chest creaking.

It's another sign that he should call off this thing with Rozanov. It was supposed to be simple and it's not anymore, therefore it should end. Cut and dried.

At the very least, he shouldn't invite him over after next month's game.

But Shane's not good enough at lying to himself to even pretend that's a feasible idea.

"You know," Hayden says, pulling Shane out of his spiraling thoughts, "Jackie's got this friend who's moving back to Montreal..."

Thanks, but I'm gay.

It's at the tip of Shane's tongue. For a brief, insane moment, he considers saying it out loud. Just for that one easy breath, that second of relief before Hayden inevitably starts looking at him different.

"I'm good," he says instead. He gestures at the baby in Hayden's lap. "Don't you have more important things to worry about than my love life?"

"Just thought I'd ask," Hayden says, raising one hand up in defeat. The other one stays firmly in Ruby-or-Jade's grasp. "At least tell me you're getting laid, man."

Shane keeps his expression carefully neutral and takes another bite of his dinner.

That's kind of half the problem, he wants to tell Hayden.

shane gets semi tipsy at one team event and starts talking about some strategy he saw or hockey history book he read and everyone is focused immediately hanging onto every word - until he abruptly stops himself because he thinks he's being Unbearable Only Hockey Guy again when in reality the entire league looks at shane like he's holding some hockey secret fountain of talent that will make them talented too

and when he DOES end up relaxed enough to share something personal everyone is even MORE invested and trying not to spook him and trying to keep him talking and making jokes because Oh My God Shane Hollander is talking to them, Shane Hollander is Cooler and Funnier than originally anticipated (and everyone already thought he was a legend)

this is also SO frustrating for ilya especially when they're out and people are openly flirting with shane and eating up every word that comes out of his mouth (he also opens up a lot more when he's with ilya because duh but this makes everyone MORE infatuated with him) and ilya just watches everyone fall in love with his husband while he shifts between possessively glaring at anyone who looks a little Too adoring and being full of his own admiration for shane and rubbing his thigh under the table

but then they go home and shane's like shit i probably talked too much about hockey right? or wait did i interrupt the rookies too much? we should've tipped the bartender more he was so nice all evening

and ilya is seeing red both because this man can't see how incredible he is while everyone else can AND because this man is in fact his

Remember this post?? I finished the fic! I wrote the smut!

Lick a wound that was not ever mine

7k words. Rated E.

“Hey,” Shane said, when Ilya staggered to a stop and looked up at him. His face had lost the joyful expression that Shane had enjoyed soaking up all evening. “What was that you just said?”

“Nothing,” Ilya sighed. “Being stupid, c’mon.” He pulled on Shane’s hand almost petulantly, but Shane’s legs were strong enough to anchor him to the spot despite the steep angle. He looked down at Ilya — his husband — and his heart stuttered, he loved him so much.

“No, don’t do that. Whatever it is, it’s not stupid.” Shane yanked him back up the few steps separating them until Ilya was right there, chest pressed to his. The liquor on his breath likely matched Shane’s, but it made Shane worry. “Tell me, please.”

His eyes fluttered shut in a defeated gesture, and Ilya mumbled, words slurring a little, “I’m so scared I will fuck this up. Us.”