20s. three raccoons in a trench coat. mainly the witcher, the amazing devil, and heated rivalry now too, apparently. 🌿 #toapoetwriting for my writing, hopefully.
for his mama - ilya reflects on what he wished for as a boy and what he has now, and wishes his mama was still here
THE WITCHER
geraskier
the sunflower is mine (in a way) - cozy, sleepy afternoon spent studying and snuggling
no name - two paragraphs about a grown ciri going out on a hunt on her own and her fathers being domestic with each other
yennskier
moment's silence when my baby puts the mouth on me - modern au. jaskier buys yen a necklace and after giving it to her they spend the evening being intimate. mildly spicy!
brief vignettes of jaskier and yennefer being married - exactly what it says on the tin. little blurbs of them being Married that are either too short for a full fic or don't fit anywhere else
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remember when we were making tuna melts to eat while watching ep 4 for the first time? like we wanted to experience the same fish breath hollanov did during the frottage of doom and despair. early hr fandom was so funny for that
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another hornyposting anon for u. i had thoughts about cumdumpster shane i thought about sharing when the convo was happening the other night but got tired but now i see u posting abt it again so im gonna share them now. i dont love the WORD cumdumpster personally for myself but the Particular thought being played with was hot so. just. in the vein of ilya putting Just the tip of his cock in shane's hole and jerking off the rest until he comes, so he comes in shane without shane getting to be fucked. good GOD i was just thinking about the amount of RESTRAINT youd have to have as a dom, the amount of restraint ilya would have to have, to look at shane all pretty and writhing on the bed and start to slide into him but just leave it there and not fuck him. and yeah maybe the hotness factor helps him hold himself back but also just holy shit. and maybe even sometimes he DOES give in, the restraint fails, bc shane is begging SO fucking loudly and desperately "please please please ilya fuck PLEASE fuck me god i want it so bad i need it ilya fuck fucking PLEASE" and ilya is desperate too just like. fuck okay change of plans and gives it to shane hard and deep and selfishly rough. sometimes only taking five thrusts to come from how turned on it all has him. (kind of a la vegas "are you gonna fuck me?" and ilya immediately pounding him into the mattress after that breathy "i need you" after only like 10 seconds of watching him touch himself- tho to be fair there was also the EMOTIONAL angle there, ilya's "i want to watch" being partially about proving to himself he could stay cold and distant and then OOPS shane's looking at him with his big needy bottom eyes and he Cant, Actually, At All. and married hollanov doing this kind of play would be past this degree of emotional minefield)
OR. alternatively. another thought. shane begs so loud and needy for ilya to fuck him bc he can feel ilya's cockhead stretching his hole and feel ilya's knuckles bumping his ass with every stroke he makes and its NOT ENOUGH, pleasepleaseplease and fervent swearing and the most broken whiny moans (but staying as still as he can because hes a good boy), and ilya DOESNT, ilya is a king of restraint, ilya just stays there jerking off until he comes in his cock. but then. shane is still moaning and whining "please ilya fuck please" so ilya hums "hm, yes, okay, i will fuck you now. since you were so good" and. bringing the clone-a-willy idea in. he uses his own cum in shane's ass as lube and fucks him with the dildo molded off of his own dick. and its arguably exactly what he wants, ilya's cock fucking him and ilya's come filling him, but its also NOT and it makes him so dizzy. and its so fucking good.
so shane can come untouched, right? at this point it's almost a novelty the way ilya can get him to do it, and it's so easy to get him there too especially with penetration. shane has prostate orgasms all the fucking time it's literally one of his fav ways to come and one of ilya's fav ways to get him there. but the thing about these orgasms is usually ilya is on top and only looking at shane's face, or behind and only looking at shane's hole. he rarely ever actually gets to see shane's cock when he comes like this, and he realizes how fucked up it is that despite making shane come like this so often, he's never fully been able to appreciate the spectacle of it yk?
so i think ilya proposes fucking in front his bedroom mirror so he can get a good look, because he wants to see. and even though shane feels a little self conscious abt it (i'm imagining this during their situationship era) it's also ridiculously hot to him so of course he says yes. so that's how they find themselves standing in front of ilya's full length bedroom mirror, skin to skin, ilya pressed firmly against shane's back with his cock buried deep inside of him. and shane's head is lolling back against ilya's shoulder, knees bending slightly to give him a better angle (and also bc he can barely stand up when ilya's fucking him like this). ilya's pace is slow, deep, precise. he pulls out slow and fucks back in slow, adonis belt slapping firmly against shane's ass every few seconds and making his cheeks jiggle like he's in a porno. but ilya can barely even pay any attention to that because he's too distracted by what's staring back at him in the mirror.
shane's cock, standing at full attention and bobbing with every thrust, drooling beautiful syrupy precum profusely from the tip onto the floor. it's unfuckingreal to ilya, he can't stop fucking staring at it. he knows shane gets wet but this is ridiculous. is it like this every time? does he leak this much whenever they fuck? has ilya just never noticed before? it's like a fucking faucet the way it just steadily drips down onto the hardwood. and ilya feels fucking insane. he keeps fucking shane slow like that, eyes hooded and fixated on that fat and leaky cock, and shane's making little noises that go right to his own cock which is still hitting shane's prostate with every slow thrust. shane's hand comes up behind him to cradle the back of ilya's head, fingers digging into his curls, his scalp, and ilya knows he's close, can see it plain as day in his blissed out expression.
ilya's own fingers dig into the soft flesh of shane's waist and he tugs him impossibly closer, murmurs, "are you gonna come for me, hollander?" all low and sensual, and shane can barely speak, can only give a desperate nod as his eyes squeeze shut and his cock bobs in the mirror. "yeah? you gonna show me how you come from just this?" and he punctuates the words with the slow pounding of his hips, burying his nose in the side of shane's face and keeping his eyes fixated on where shane continues to leak. it only takes a couple more hard thrusts and then shane is keening with a rough and guttural edge to his voice, and at this exact moment ilya stills inside of him, stops moving, just grips shane's hips tight and remains seated fully inside of him while he watches shane's cock work its magic.
and oh, what a fucking sight. completely untouched, shane's cock stutters and bobs of its own accord, and then he's erupting in steady bursts, whimpers and moans flying past his lips as his balls tighten and twitch. and ilya can barely fucking believe his eyes, flummoxed that shane's cock has just been doing this all the time they've been hooking up and he's been missing it. he's truly never seen anything like it, the way it moves like it's its own entity, the way it pulses and throbs under the low light, the way it spits cum in long, thick strings, the way it makes shane all pink and warm in the face. and when the cum finally tapers off and switches to a slow and leaky dribble, any restraint ilya had been holding onto goes out the window. a practically inhuman sound falls from his mouth and his jaw drops, chin resting on shane's shoulder as he feels himself be pushed off the edge.
he manages to get out a slurred "i'm coming" but he sounds drunk, and he feels drunk too. shane's eyes open and they both make eye contact in the mirror as ilya empties himself, vein in his forehead throbbing, eyes rolling a little bit. shane's grip in his hair tightens, an encouraging gesture, and ilya moans again when he sees shane's spent cock, going soft now, twitch a little bit in the mirror, one last small dribble of cum oozing from the tip.
safe to say, it's not the last time they try that.
inspired by this post by @ilyasmole , the whole thing is incredible, but specifically this part:
ilya's own fingers dig into the soft flesh of shane's waist and he tugs him impossibly closer, murmurs, "are you gonna come for me, hollander?" all low and sensual, and shane can barely speak, can only give a desperate nod as his eyes squeeze shut and his cock bobs in the mirror. "yeah? you gonna show me how you come from just this?" and he punctuates the words with the slow pounding of his hips, burying his nose in the side of shane's face and keeping his eyes fixated on where shane continues to leak.
thank you for your beautiful inspiring wonderful hornyposting <3
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Ilya blinks. He’s well aware that he’s not supposed to be smoking out here— The sign right behind his head reads NO SMOKING. He’s not stupid. He can read. And if his coach knew he was smoking, well, he wouldn’t be afraid to scratch him next game. The team is performing badly as it is, and Ilya smoking will be the final straw.
“It’s a fire risk. The smoking. With all the greenery.”
Shane Hollander, NHL superstar, dynasty-builder, captain of the Montreal Voyageurs, is looking at him with intensity. And, if Ilya is reading him right, some curiosity.
He looks good. Nothing like the poster Ilya had back in his first-year dorm; that was from years ago, when Hollander was closer to the beginning of his career than the end.
He’s older, now, grey streaking his hair and tasteful stubble marking his cheeks. Distinguished, Svetlana would say. The wire-framed glasses perched on his nose make him look like a professor, but the impeccably tailored suit and the way the navy fabric hugs his ass and thighs tells a different story.
Ilya exhales smoke into the dark courtyard, tries to school his features into something nonchalant. “Okay.”
He takes another drag.
It’s nearing ten, and the party in the University’s ballroom is in full swing. Some kind of alumni event; they tend to blur for Ilya. He’s the captain of McGill’s men’s hockey team, the Redbirds, and the fact that his visa and his tuition relies on his hockey scholarship means the faculty are all-too-comfortable pulling him out for events like this.
The scholarship itself is worth pennies; sure, his tuition is covered and his athletic gear, but that says nothing for rent, and textbooks, and the cost of living in Montreal. The Veterinary Sciences program is a six-year course, and Ilya is on year four, classed a mature student at age twenty-five. It’s intensive, and the high study load plus his responsibilities as team captain, plus games and practices, leaves little room for a part-time job. Not if he wants to sleep.
But that’s fine; Ilya is creative. He always has been. Ask him to draw you a picture and you’ll get little more back than a stick man or a squiggle, but ask him to come up with a month’s rent in three days and he’ll do it with a flourish.
This is what’s on his mind when Shane Hollander plucks the cigarette irately from between Ilya’s lips, and grinds it into the pebbled walkway.
“Trust me, kid, I’m doing you a favour,” Hollander says, shaking his head. Ilya doesn’t miss the way his gaze lingers on his lips and takes advantage of the moment, wetting his bottom lip slowly with the tip of his tongue. “You don’t want to fuck your lungs up so early in your career.”
Ilya quirks a brow, still leaning against the redbrick wall. There a windows either side of him, golden light spilling out onto the courtyard, onto Shane Hollander’s gorgeously cut jaw and playing with the honey tones in his deep brown eyes.
“You are interested in my career, Mr. Hollander?”
“I’m interested in hockey,” Hollander corrects. Ilya watches the flush creeping up and over his cheeks like a predator waiting to pounce. Interesting. “And I’m interesting in not burning down the whole fucking courtyard.”
“This is your school?” Ilya asks, knowing well and good that it isn’t. It’s his father’s school, David Hollander; Shane Hollander was too good for university, drafted as soon as he turned eighteen. “You went here?”
“Oh, no. No, I never did the whole, uh, college thing. I’m here with my dad.”
“Raising money for a school you didn’t go to? Very generous. Mr. Charity, ah?”
Hollander bristles, narrowing his eyes behind his glasses. A single lock of black hair has escaped its meticulous styling, dropping over his forehead very romantically, like one of the bare-chested heroes from the covers of Svetlana’s bodice-ripper novels. The thought of Hollander in a similar position, shirtless and holding some kind of sword or pistol on a rocky shore, is enough to make Ilya’s stomach tighten.
He watches Hollander shake his head, and then turn to leave; a thread of panic shoots through Ilya’s chest, and he blurts out: “You are retiring this season, yes?”
Hollander stops dead in his tracks, and Ilya has to bite his lip to keep from smiling.
It’s not a confirmed thing. It’s not even a insider rumour; there have been constant headlines about Shane Hollander’s retirement, every season since he turned thirty-five. He’s almost forty, now, and the rumours aren’t slowing down. Ilya stuffs his hands into the pockets of his burrowed suit, but he doesn’t drop Hollander’s gaze.
“Do you think I’m retiring?” Hollander asks, tone low. Not exactly dangerous, more… Curious. Which is fine. He makes Ilya curious, too.
“I don’t think you should,” Ilya shrugs, honest. He doesn’t think that Hollander should retire. He’s still powerful on the ice, and where he’s losing speed he more than makes up for it in strategy, in scoring opportunities, in leadership. “But, you know. People talk.”
Ilya licks his lips again. He’s not sure when, but Hollander has taken a step forward, at some point, the both of them hidden in the shadow of the wall.
“You’re an amazing player to watch,” Hollander says. “We caught the game last week.”
“We?”
“Me and my dad. It was a solid win. You should be proud.”
Is Ilya imagining the return of that flush? No, surely not. Standing so close he can see every freckle on Hollander’s cheeks, and the way some of them disappear beneath his blush. Maybe he’s been drinking, or maybe he’s just sick of being fucking boring. Either way, Ilya isn’t complaining.
“Is a big honour, to have Shane Hollander say such nice things.”
Ilya knows he’s laying it on thick, but he’s done this kind of thing before; older men, sometimes older women. They like pretty, young things, and Ilya checks both of those boxes. They like good sex, and so does he. They like showing off how much money they have, and how it means nothing for them to spend it.
You know what they say— Find something you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life. Ilya is good at finding arrangements and keeping them until they’re boring, or unnecessary, or not working out. It’s work, yes, but it’s work he enjoys; he’s not a prostitute, or anything. It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement. Sometimes he doesn’t even sleep with them, just hangs off their arm at an event or sends some tasteful nudes or goes to dinner and listens to them talk and talk and talk.
Hollander scoffs a little, shaking his head and turning his eyes to the sky. Calling Ilya on his bullshit, immediately. Maybe he took Ilya’s blatant flirting as sarcasm.
“Y’know, when I was your age, I already had two Cups.”
“And this was, what, one hundred years ago?”
“Rozanov.”
“Hollander.”
“You said when you were my age,” Ilya raises an eyebrow again, “You know how old I am?”
Hollander nods, unashamed. “Twenty-five, Russian national. Leading the team on assists but second on goals. Your shooting percentage is pretty fucking high, but it’d be higher if you didn’t spend so much time in the box.”
Ilya can’t help the grin that stretches over his features as Hollander rattles off his statistics. He’s heard the rumours, of course, about hockey robot Shane Hollander; never married, or married to the game. Rumours that he’s gay, all but confirmed. Apparently he came out to his team years ago, but he’s never made a public statement, never been seen with a man.
Questions, questions. Ilya never really cared all that much. But now, inches between them. in the face of Hollander and his awkwardness and his freckles, Ilya finds himself caring a whole fucking lot.
He takes another step forward. Inappropriately close; their chests almost touching.
“I take a lot of penalties,” Ilya admits; he can feel Hollander’s breath ghosting against his cheek. “I take risks. I like to be bad.”
Hollander’s brown eyes, so impossibly deep, drop to his lips again. It’s easy, then, to take the risk before he can think better of it; Ilya grabs Hollander by the lapels of his suit, dragging him and slotting their mouths together.
He’s a fucking amazing kisser, and he tastes like spearmint. Hollander’s hand comes up, twisting into Ilya’s styled curls, and Ilya can’t stop the moan that rises up from his throat when Hollander tugs, just slightly. It’s not a sweet kiss, but it’s hungry; Ilya swipes his tongue against Hollander’s, walking them back until his back is pressed against the wall.
Shockingly, Ilya doesn’t even realise he’s fucking hard until he feels Hollander’s knee pressing between his legs. And it would be embarrassing, getting hard over a fucking kiss, if Hollander wasn’t also clearly tenting his dress pants. A shot of giddy adrenaline runs through him, and he bites on Hollander’s lower lip to keep from laughing. Fuck. He’s making out with Shane fucking Hollander, captain of the best team in the sport, the guy who built a fucking dynasty. Patron Saint of Montreal.
And then, as suddenly as it had happened, all the solid warmth of Hollander is gone. He steps back, breathing heavily, eyes wild with something Ilya can’t quite decode. It could be arousal, or panic, or both.
“Fuck,” He mutters, running a large hand through his hair. Ilya can still feel the imprint of that hand on the back of his head, warm and strong and guiding him exactly where he wanted him. “Fuck. I’m sorry, that was— I— That was inappropriate. I’m sorry.”
“I kissed you.”
“Don’t— Don’t say it like that.”
“What, you think the fucking grass and pebbles care? No, Hollander. They saw it all happen anyway.”
Hollander scowls, his hands in his pockets. He’s still hard, though, which makes Ilya irrationally smug. He doesn’t say anything else, but he doesn’t leave, either. Ilya sighs.
“Give me your phone.”
“Not a fucking chance.”
“Give.”
Hollander blinks, but complies, and Ilya swallows the sickly feeling of victory. This could be very, very fun. He waits for Hollander to unlock it, and very quickly adds his number to his contacts.
“College is expensive, Mr. Hollander,” Ilya sighs, handing his phone back. “And you seem like someone who cares about hockey’s future.”
“Look, are you some kind of— I don’t know, like, a hooker, or something—”
“No, I am not a hooker,” Ilya laughs, a little sharper than necessary. “I don’t care how other people make their money, but, no. You have my number. You want to talk about it a little more, you can text me. Call me. I don’t know what old people like to do.”
“I’m not old,” Hollander says, but he’s smiling again, tucking his phone away in his pocket. “Scott Hunter is old.”
“You are both old. You were on Noah’s ark together, I think.”
“Fuck you, Rozanov.”
Ilya pushes up off the wall, brushes his shoulder against Hollander’s as he passes. “I hope so. You have my number, Hollander. Use it.”
tag list: @spotsandsocks @were-theworld-mine @pastainhismouth @dream-about-dancing @shashanene
I would like to talk about Shane’s hole leaking with Ilya’s cum 🤤
“shane, let me see,” ilya says, he’s pulling out of a fucked out shane and pushing shane’s bent knees back so he can see shane’s hole better.
shane whimpers small and hoarse, but complies with the request and pushes ilya’s cum from his stretched hole. ilya watches, mesmerised at the slick trail running down shane’s crack.
he lets go on shane’s leg with one hand and sticks his two fingers out to push the cum back into shane who gasps out a stutter and shudders at the unexpected contact.
“moya shlyukha, you are so perfect filled with my cum, hmm, you were made for it I believe.”
ilya removes his fingers slowly and leans down to press a kiss to shane’s soft cock. it dibbles the last bit of cum it has left at the pressure of his warm lips and shane shudders again.
We talk a lot about Shane’s closet. The flat color of the paint on the walls. Its contents are piled high, hangers filled and shelves packed, but it’s also organized, everything in its place. Everything perfect, if only everyone else would follow his plan, he can find a way out of it that won’t make anything fall.
But what about Ilya’s closet?
Ilya views his sexuality positively, but practically. He is attracted to men, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but let’s be serious. It’s a treat. Something you do to indulge. A vacation from the path that he must walk. I don’t believe one single article of Ilya’s being thought he would end up with a man until it was too late. He already loved one. Oops.
He hasn’t built an elaborate closet organizational system like Shane, he simple aborts the possibility before it forms. My coach’s son, nothing serious. It’s just a plan to fuck. We get together, we fuck, it’s simple. Even at the cottage: Hollander! It’s not a big deal!
I believe Ilya saw his life as inevitable, rather than trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, like Shane, where there’s effort to hide. To Ilya, it’s simple. Ilya would marry a woman, maybe Svetlana, maybe someone else who he likes and gets along with. Women are fantastic, he prefers them, canonically, or at least acknowledges that it’s easier to prefer them. Have children, he loves kids! No problem. His life is not going to rock the boat, so what does it matter if he fucks a few men now? What does it matter if Shane Hollander stays the night and Ilya makes him a tuna melt and says his name tenderly because he wants to? None of this is real. None of this is the inevitable life that will be his. Is his.
You can contrast this to Ilya’s relationship to hockey, which I think, like Shane, he thought would be the pillar of his life. It would be his actual legacy. Where he made an impact for himself and others.
I think Ilya’s relationship to his bisexuality is tied up with what he thinks he’s deserves as a person. He’s a good lay for men and women, but he’s not anyone’s top choice. And that’s fine, he doesn’t want to get tangled up in feelings anyway. Better to keep things friendly and transactional, like with Svetlana. Like with Hollander! We have a good thing, maybe we can push it a little bit because neither of us have expectations of the other and—oh shit.
You don’t like me: I’m the fun party guy. I’m the guy who fucks you good, I’m not someone you should stake a claim on, someone that should occupy your thoughts. After all, I will not be getting deeply involved. My life is laid out before me, and this doesn’t matter. It can’t matter. We can’t be something, Hollander.
But instead, as we see, Ilya Rozanov dedicates himself to a sweeping, all-encompassing, queer love. He accepts that he has a well of feeling to share, that he has the ability to love deeply despite inconvenience. That he can go against the grain, and be strong. That he isn’t inherently lazy! There’s another Ilya Rozanov in a different universe that said this is too much. I’m supposed to just fall into a life, not build one from scratch.
There’s a reckoning there. But there’s also triumph. Because where Shane must surrender control to find self-acceptance, Ilya must accept that he has to take control of his life in order to find love, contentment, and joy. No one is going to make this happen for him. He has to build it from scratch.
One of the best defensemen at McGill. Absolutely a beast on the ice. Very much of the old school style of hockey and we could even throw some absolute knockers of foul language and aggression. Imagine Shoresy back in the 80s. What an absolute pest he would have been. Shoresy is essentially what I imagine David Hollander to have been like in his college years at McGill.
And one day, they’re playing a final round match. The pressure is on to succeed. Someone managed to land a punch on him which knocks his canine and a bottom tooth out. His mouth is full of blood.
He’s pressed against the plexiglass. Yet when he opens his eyes, there’s a beautiful but fiercely shouting Japanese girl in a McGill sweatshirt shouting at him to get the guy in the first row. Knock his ass out. He clenches and fist. And roundhouse punches the guy out. The ref pulls him away and he’s in the sin bin for 5 minutes. Damn bullshit. However it gives him an absolutely amazing view of her straight on shouting at the referee. He’s never seen a gal more passionate about hockey.
5 minutes later, he’s back out on the ice. He heads toward her. Completely ignoring the game.
“What’s your name?” He shouts as everyone is shouting at him to get back in the game.
“What?!” She shouts back.
“What’s your name?!” He shouts again.
“Yuna! And get your ass back out there Hollander!”
“Yuna?! That’s a pretty name! If I score one tonight, will you go out with me?” He hopes she will.
“If you win the championship, I’ll marry you!” She shouts, urging him to get back to the game.
“I’m going to hold you to it!” He grins, mouth bloody and missing teeth.
He skates back into the game smoothly and tosses an assist to their center. He glides across the rink, focused, like never before.
He plays the best game of his life right on that rink.
As his teammates cheer and celebrate, he skates back to where she’s sitting with her girlfriends. They’re all excitedly screaming and jumping.
“Hey” he waves.
She comes up to the plexiglass, closer. God she’s pretty.
“Hey Hollander. You played a great game even though your backup line was terrible. Can they even spell puck?”
“We’re hockey players. Some us were simply born in the ice rink.”
“Uh huh.” She raises a suspicious brow.
“So you did say if we won the championship you’d marry me. We got three games till our wedding I suppose.”
“You know I was just joking.”
“I wasn’t. I’d treat you so well if you let me.”
“Steady on Hollander. I think your concussion is affecting your brain.”
“What can I do in the face of true love but want to see where it goes. You ever look at someone so incredibly beautiful that you just want to strip naked and skate across the ice?”
She laughes. Thats an incredible sound.
“I'd French kiss a toaster if it meant i could wake up next to you every morning.”
“Hold on lover boy. You barely got my name and you don’t even know my last name.”
“Well I know Yuna is probably my favorite name in the world as of 15 minutes ago and whatever your last name is, I’d change mine to yours. I’d be so good to you I’d swear. I’d lick a puck if it meant I could walk you to your dorm.”
Yuna’s friends snicker behind her.
“Sure Hollander. You can walk me to my dorm.”
He excitedly shouts in excitement, skating in loops around the ice.
And that was the story how the McGill University Hockey Team won that year’s championship trophy and how David Hollander met the love of his life.
Funny enough, the local A/V club who was broadcasting the game managed to record the footage of that encounter on the ice and were kind enough to send it to the Hollanders as a gift when their son was drafted into the NHL.
ilya w his face buried in shane's ass just moaning and making the most fucking insane noises you ever heard and shane's eyes are practically rolling back in his head as he grips the sheets and pushes his ass back and ilya's just IN THERE goin fuckin crazy on it and shane comes without warning all over ilya's duvet
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can i admit something to u good mangoes,, i think it's weird how people use ilya saying 'oh my god' in awe of shane dropping instantly to his knees during the ASG fuck, specifically as a reason why ilya is NOT that dominant/is unsure of HOW MUCH he is dominant/is WINGING their interactions????
like, he v clearly says 'get on your knees'. so that's his plan and his desire. he clearly wants shane below him on his knees, sucking his cock. he wants to manhandle shane, 'get on your stomach,' 'i want to fuuuUck you', etc. he's not hesitant, he's not unsure that shane will obey. the reins are in ilya's hands. he calms shane down. he lays out their plans to fuck. he puts shane where he wants him. he dominates shane clearly and in a way that makes them both ragingly horny.
but why is it that ilya saying wow/oh my god/fuck hollander outloud suddenly reduces all those things? why can't a dom be excited by and surprised and delighted over their partner's obedience and desire. why can't doms need a moment to process someone's willingness to drop to their knees in a hotel entry way the second time they hook up???? why can't doms be like. damn, i'm fucking lucky, he's so desperate, he wants me so bad, i could tell him to do whatever i want, how far can i go with this, etc. why does displaying emotion mean ilya is unsure of what he wants ???? doms are not distant statues.