[kill bill sirens]

so. bad news. we have to keep going tomorrow. good news is that I’ll keep going with you

I'm like if a missing person was literally right there

WTF (where's the feta?)

LMFAO (love my feta and olives)

Look, it's simple. If a person has to actively work to make money, they're not "the rich" and they're not the problem. A surgeon making $200k a year still stops making money if they stop showing up to do surgery, because they're still selling their labor. The radical discrepancies in how we value different skills are certainly a problem, but the guy who makes money when he doesn't even get out of bed is the one making money on the value of other people's labor.

and another tiramisu for the distressed lady

i looked and saw no evil within me yay

cannot stress enough the importance of having a bucket in your house. a big plastic bucket. helps with housework. helps with morale. get yourself a bucket today

colonel amontillado: You have just got to try my limited Cajun-style fried chicken. I have a bucket down here just for you

i’m not crying it’s just raining on my face 

not buying the product isn't enough I need the company to know their advertising made me want to kill them with a golf club.

i don't have romantic or sexual fantasies about famous people but i do sometimes indulge in daydreams about chance encounters that lead to us developing a sincere and lasting friendship based on mutual trust and respect and shared interests/compatible personality traits which i think is significantly more embarrassing

it isn't even a case of me being starved for human connection i have multiple friends both irl and online who i love and recognise how fortunate i am to have. my social life is rich and fulfilling and i'm hardly lacking in appreciation for that. i just wish i could be dming bullshit texts to some guy from my shows as well for no discernable reason except that it would be nice to have even more people to talk to and then ignore for weeks after i clicked on their message notification and forgot about it.