gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

“tumblr is nice because it’s anonymous and irrelevant so it doesn’t affect my real life in any way.” Wrong. if you are on here for long enough the words of your mortifying adolescent internet diary will be written on the subway walls and tenement halls and out of the mouths of coworkers and over the faces of tiktokers and and in reddit screenshots posted on instagram sent to you by your friends and in ai dupe novelty t shirts and in the smiles of strangers repeating bits you forgot you left lying around on here when you were a teenager. and also pinterest.

Tfw you live next to an "environmentally friendly" solar farm, where it hasn't been night for 9 years, all the plants for miles are scorched to death and you could fry an egg on the ground all the time, but it's all to stop global warming

So I looked it up and Darksky International is aware of it, I'm still considering writing to my reps to ask them to pre-emptively outlaw it alsjfk

The commenter who said "It's not light pollution if it comes from the sun" 😭😭😭 did you think the problem with light pollution was that artificial light sources were somehow impure?

This sounds like the spiritual successor to the US military's proposed "God Rod" where you'd drop a man-made meteor on a target

The cashier at Whole Foods just treated me like the village idiot because he told me to “look for the three little lines” on the app and i was like “I’m not seeing a hamburger. I see meatballs. Is that it?” And he said “maam you are looking for Three Little Lines”

i could be your pet rock. id be very good at it

ive had some time to think and honestly i dont think id be a very good pet rock. i dont know what i was thinking. theres too much anger in me

women will describe the most unempathetic, uncaring, detached behavior from their boyfriends and then be like "idk should i say something to him?" like babe i think you should kill him

Like either way I do hope he is never seen or heard from ever again

It's him, the Fire Fox, from browser

Behold I send you as sheep in the midst of wolves. Be ye therefore wise as serpents and simple as doves.

sorry, i mythologized your boyfriend. yeah i took him and a few other boyfriends and merged them together with local folklore and mystic elements into one legendary figure. he's going to be really hard to pin down historically. sorry about that. I can make you his consort in some stories if that helps.

Genuinely would have guessed this is the 21st hunger games or something

ROBIN HOOD HAS A DAD???