am i active or inactive? who knows? i sure dont.

why do men have this eternal fear of being used for money they don’t have lol

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

don’t abandon joy because it is brief. don’t commit to solitude because happiness is fleeting. it’s okay that good things do not last forever. it’s okay to simply enjoy a thing for as long as you have it.

oh boy i wish someone would notice my cries for help! [someone actually notices] noooo i'm fine don't worry about me

I remember one time I got INSANELY high off of edibles while playing Among Us, and it quickly became apparent to the other players online. I forget how honestly but literally anything "sus" I did was ignored by everyone because I was so fucking high. I tested this theory by standing in front of a body and the person that actually reported it didn't even mention me. The funniest part was when I was trying to do wires, I kept fucking up over and over again, so I was just standing in front of wires for actual minutes trying to figure it out. A small crowd of players gathered around me to watch and would get mad every time someone reported a body or emergency meeting because "she's never going to get her tasks done if you keep interrupting them." I don't think anyone cared about winning at that point, they just wanted to see the high crew mate succeed in her tasks.

THIS IS 1000% ACCURATE LMFAO. Thank you op

one of the worst things about fandom is when people headcanon a certain character as gay and suddenly that becomes the only valid, practically unofficial-official canon reading of that character's sexuality. gay. just gay. character has shown romantic or sexual desire for women? it's comphet, don't worry, he's still gay. character isn't interested in sex much at all? it's because he hasn't fucked a man, obviously. character has lots of women friends? they are the hags to his fag, he's gay, why are you even trying. and it all seems like a very Transformative and Woke way to read a character until you step back and realize how much biphobia, acephobia, misogyny, and transphobia are baked into the adamant refusal to accept The Character as anything other than gay. it's horrendous, actually. but you will get shot in the streets for this.

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

if I ever tell you “lmk what you think if you read/play/watch it!” I am firmly inviting you to send me a play by play minute by minute cataloguing of your thoughts about The Thing

hello 👋 i am the worlds smallest bug 🐛 and ☝️ i too would like to “fag it up” if i may

three weed smoking gfs used to be the realm of fantasy. but now thanks to the power of transexualism this dream has been achieved by some

Can anyone help me find the rest of this? The only references to it I can find online are to this page.