Come Back With A Warrant

UNGRATEFUL tech companies are saying things like "turn off your ad blocker" and "we need your photo id" instead of "thank you so much for not just pirating our shit, youre so handsome"

fuckkkkkk I cleared the time loop first try

Upon hearing this, the student became enlightened.

I’m currently rocking a wonderful 15,960/15,961 on clearing the time loop on the first try! That totally rounds to 100%! How wonderful!!

"Who stabbed you in the eye, Polyphemus?" "Moi! Moi stabbed me!" "He stabbed himself. Sad."

100% would watch

hell is full. heaven is full. god created a new holding space for souls called hurgle and the only thibg to do here is this infinitely expading jigsaw puzzle of a finely detailed pigeon. we are just slowwwwwly creating little tufts of feathers for eternity . yesterday , greg found a corner piece

made a tumblr account for this post and this post only

Happy to report that this is one of five posts on their account and then they never came back

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

If Ratatouille mechanics were real, there would be a whole market of businesses offering the services of operating rats to people who want them, and it'd be like how bees produce honey. People in the rat business would be so exhausted of having to explain over and over again that no, the rats aren't being exploited. If the rats didn't like how they're being treated, they would simply not return. There's no goddamn way to force a rat to be so passionate about playing the saxophone that they'll figure out how to puppeteer a human to do it for them. All that the business does is finding a way to put that specific rat in the hair of someone who's about to go on stage.

The rats 100% think the businesses are being run for their benefit and worry about the humans being exploited.

A rat manager who is a rat and deals on their end of the deal is exhausted of having to explain over and over again that look, an average fully grown adult human being is like 200 times your weight, their hands are very fast and they can throw things better than you want to imagine. If one of them things didn't want you in their hair, you're not going to stay there for long. You'd be yote out the window in two seconds flat.

In every way this is set up to be a joke like any other short video, it even uses the trope of main character in a wig to represent their mom, but it isn't funny at all. It's just sweet and nice

yeah i just love it when a character is in an inescapable torment nexus for a huge portion of their life and it defines every aspect of their existence forever. also whats cptsd

rough drafting it here but i think Batman has a special connection to the concept of child sidekicks in a way that defies modern feelings about child soldiers because he was the child who lost everything and felt he needed to make a change in the world but was denied the agency and choice to do anything. child Bruce would have fit right in with any of the Robins if he'd had a Batman and it's the fact that he didn't that ultimately drives him to extend the choice he never got. it was never about soldiers or "refusing to protect the children from themselves," it is, within the acceptable morality of the genre, respecting a child's personhood and ability to make decisions for themselves and giving them opportunities their adult never had. it's why you can't take the Robins away from Batman without significantly changing the character, because Batman was born from child Bruce's most heartfelt wish to be able to DO something about all the injustice in the world and so to deny other children that is to deny himself

sometimes the absence is more compelling. let's lack something and then feel its presence forever in the empty space where it should be.

if my name was "wolfgang amadeus" i would also be getting a lot of shit done