Come Back With A Warrant

UNGRATEFUL tech companies are saying things like "turn off your ad blocker" and "we need your photo id" instead of "thank you so much for not just pirating our shit, youre so handsome"

ty to everyone tagging this as their ocs and giving me the lore. im enjoying reading thru them

i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

you get it. you get the themes. i dont have time to do it justice. just look at it its on the ceiling

float like a butterfly (nervously forgets end of quote) green like a pea

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

i think sometimes people want to know what my deal is just so they know what slurs to call me. whatever, just call me all of them. i truly do not give half a shit.

I understand that you were aiming for a morally grey protagonist, but in practice what you've ended up with is more of a moral beige.

the enemy drank water today. did you?

i drank water three days ago. im several steps ahead of the enemy. this is what it takes to win

penny is such a good name. hello my name is dollar bill

catherine is hopefully going to become the new demi (dropout’s up-and-coming superstar), which works because demi is on his way to becoming the new brennan (in everything yet still can’t win one damn time, sam has him on speed dial), and that also works because brennan is somewhere out there playing ten games of dungeons and dragons at once

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks