As a non-American, I'm always weirded out that so many bag reviews are based on what sort of gun you can hide in it.
There are guys out there going to the store for a coffee who are tooling up like they need to shoot 30 rounds and then stab a bunch of guys while dodging mortar rounds.
And I'm here like "OK, does anyone do something that clips to the front of my backpack (The one I use to haul groceries) that I can stick my chapstick, phone and a drink in, so my pockets aren't stuffed?"
(There sort of was, but Craghopper discontinued it)
And some guy on Youtube is like "But what if you have to shoot a bear, skin it, and maybe somewhere in this sequence, fuck it?"
My dude. You are a Gravy Seal. This inane shit is the greased-up chute firing you at near sonic speeds into the septic tank of signing up for ICE.
Pull up. Touch grass instead of shooting at it. Go to the petting zoo and pet a goat. Put some crackers and gummy-nerds in your boob bag.
Wait. Boob bag. How do I send that in to make it the official name?






















